Feeling Lost.. I am turning 22 now. :( Feeling kind of lost now. I am always trying to escape from responsibility. I am a slumber person. I don't like to take any responsibility and whenever I have one, I will always trying to escape from it. Too lazy to fulfill all the task I need to complete. Now, I am 22. No longer a kid. Honestly, studying graduate school was a way that I used to runaway from my responsibility. I don't want to work in the industry. I know there are a lot of politics if I work in the industry. I don't know what to do at that time. I couldn't sit at home and do nothing. Therefore, I choose to study graduate school. I thought I could actually live the slumber life as before. However, turning 22 makes me realize that I should do something with my life. But, what? I just finish reading Harry Potter 5 today. I grieve about Sirius dead very badly. I tried to imagine that if I am Harry Potter, I don't see a point of living my life anymore. I don't have any relatives nor anyone that makes me feel like wanted to continue my life. It started to make me think, what is the purpose of living? Are we going to suffer all the pain of loss, all the pain of failure? Or are we going to be happy for all our success and all the achievements? What's after that then? We are going to continue our life, isn't it? Living over the same thing, same routine everyday. Kinda bored. Now I feel and realize what my boyfriend always said. Life is a struggle. Life is a torture. However, I wont end my life. I understand the pain of lost and I don't want anyone who love me to go through that pain. Continue with my life..struggling..the first day of my 22..
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