1st Module

The module was a success despite the fact that I forgot a word during the speech. First time ever, stood there and can't recall that word at all! So awful but, funny. I even joked about it later in my speech. Well, a mistake is a mistake, right? There is no point why you shouldn't joke about it, right? Luckily LO saw that part of the module when we were on our way there and she yelled out that word for me. So funny! She saved me a trip from going back to the lectern, flipped through the module to find that word!

I think I perform better when I don't prepare for it. I only read through the module 3 times and practiced once (that's the reason I forgot the word). The Regional Governor was there and she asked me to be the Educational speaker for the Regional Competition! We will see how I perform when there are more unfamiliar faces...I might start to stutter this time.

Hohohoho... Almost done with my CL. That's what I am after, not the CTM. I don't particularly like speaking due to my limited use of Vocab. I am not good with words. I don't like it when I kept repeating the same word over and over because my brain is flat, I can't find any other synonyms in my brain! Should read more books.

There are so many things that I should do but I never did. I need to readjust my lifestyle from this week onward. Less useless and meaningless web surfing, less online movie, less McD, less social, more sleep, more job hunting. Finger crossed!

Have to go back to work tomorrow. Well, if that could buy me a cover, so be it! Hopefully Voldermot will not be there tomorrow. I don't miss them that much to wish to see them on a Sunday. Hmm..think about it, maybe it will be good too. In this case, they will see me working, thought that I cared and that might help reduce their suspicions.

It is a mind game. I just realized that not everyone is made for that kind of game. We are all very very different! Interesting, isn't it? I will do whatever it takes to get myself out of there. As for now, quitting is the fastest but least effective revenge. Even my GM told me last Friday he is prepared to walk out anytime. I should get out before he does. Otherwise, I will be on the judging plate if he walked out and that would be even harder for me to get a job.

Maybe I should start typing out a Resignation letter and post it in front of my computer to remind me how bad I need to get out from there. Hohoho..

Time for bed...dreaming too much..Praying for a change..Striving for a change..Trying for a change..

Bla Bla Bla...

Never had I despised someone so much that I would imagine slapping him and beating him up in my mind when I look at him. How could a person be so awful, so full of himself, so jackass? The worst part is, Lord Voldermot thinks he is the GOD.

It is a sandwich! I am the meat! Why does it always have to be like that? I was the meat between the Sales M and the Plant M. Now I am the meat again between the new Sales M and the GM. Chinese saying is right, "Two tigers cannot live in the same mountain in peace". To avoid being the meat in between the two slices of bread, I said it clearly to MG (Sales M) what he needs to do to get me working on things for him. I actually preferred working on things for him. Hehe..

I really appreciate what NH did for me.
Lord Voldermot hired a Psychologist/Counselor and have us take all those personality test. We all then have to sit down with her in private and tell her what bother us the most in this company. Right now, LV thinks that the lady is the god but when he hears what the lady has to tell her after all these interviews, he might think that she is just full of crap. People will not change if they are always in the denial state.
The Counselor and I did not click. She can feel that I will not say much to her. I even argued with her. When I told her about Draco Malfoy in the company, she said that that person will be fire. I told her, "No, he won't". She said, "Yes, he will." I replied, "I don't think so." Hahaha..She was surprised when I take my stand so strongly.
I am anxious to see what is going to happen next.

This is the psychology test that we were asked to take. It is quite accurate after reading my own profile. So weird. What is yours?

Dream

Dream that wakes you up.
Dream that messes up with your brain.
Dream that tells you what you really longed for.
Dream that reminds you what you had.
Dream that makes you felt more lost than ever.

What does it mean?

For some reason, I can't even explain why, I just needed some strength tonight. Very worry and terrified with what I am going to do and what I will need to face. I just needed some strength. Please tell me everything will be alright and it will be over soon.

BITCHOLOGY

Got this forwarded email from a coworker and it sounded so true!!

-----------------

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe

I - In

T - Total

C - Control of

H - Herself

B = Beautiful

I = Intelligent

T = Talented

C = Charming

H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful

I = Individual

T = That

C = Can

H = Handle anything

-----------------

Cheers!

Hmm..

Intellectual conversation with a good sense of humor.
Smart.
It was a great dinner and conversation. Haven't met someone so interesting in quite some time. Human being are unique and diverse. That's what make the world interesting.

Haven't met someone who is that quick in coming back without insulting you or the other party for quite a while.
This one is too smart.

Things are getting more and more interesting.

Another Experience

Sigh. People are selfish.
When will I learn that lesson? I wonder.
How stupid am I? Very.
How naive am I? Too much to do me any good.

MM was too busy/scared to fire one of the temporary people in our company. He had me do it. Everything happened too fast, too fast for me to even step back and realized that I don't have to do it because I am not responsible for that.

It had been a really rough day. I am just glad that KB help me took care of it. I really don't know what to say when she started going ballistic about why we are letting her go and screaming at me. At one point, I thought she was going to slap me.
I still remember vividly the look she gave me. My hands and feet went ice cold when she shoot me that look. I think my face went pale too cause after seeing my reaction, KB told me to call on him and let him handle this kind of situation from now on if I ever have to do it again.

After I got back to the office and started to recover from everything, it just dawned on me that I don't have to do this, this is not part of my job. I am very disappointed with MM. He is one of the people I trusted the most, and he let me down.

When obstacles occur, you see others true color. When will I learn to learn from my mistakes and stop being naive and stupid??
Thanks to KB, otherwise, things would have been worse. Well, there is always a first time for everything. Everything is a learning experience. Yet, I am still terrified that she might come to my house and do something to me. It is not hard to find my address since one of the other temp guy is my neighbor's brother and my name is in the phone book directory. I should probably consider getting a roommate.

Life have been throwing me a lot of lemon lately and I am very busy making lemonade right now. Will be opening up Lemonade stand pretty soon. Support, anyone?

Cheers.

Rude Awakening

At the end, just like what I predicted, PM got fired.
At the end, just like what I expected, Draco Malfoy came back.
Lord Voldemort was trying to make PM look like a dumbass in front of me by telling me half the truth (or he doesn't even know the whole truth) but he only makes himself look like an idiot to me.

It is so hard when you have to agree with something that you totally disagree on. Am I really that good on covering up what I truly think and feel? I guess I am in this case or he is just too dumb to see it. Somewhat felt like this kind of attitude of not speaking up is a sign of losing your back bone. Oh well, what's the point of getting your ass on fire anyway? It is not like I am a space ship that need my ass to be on fire in order to reach the moon. It is not worth it. Nothing is worth it, period.

Talked to RT that day and after our conversation, I started realized that I am in the same situation as he is, which is not good for me at all. I have been putting out fire for mistakes others made, work on things that is not even my job and all other stuff that I couldn't possibly get the credit for. I was pretty upset and frustrated after Friday's meeting when GM kept throwing things at me. I was trying to find out why and how to resolve it. Now, I know why. I think it is time for me to just watch my own back and stop caring about other things. Will I able to do that? I think the question is more like whether they will allow me to?

I am very disappointed by the GM. PM got fired on Wednesday night and in the Friday morning meeting, he expected me to resume all PM's job in addition to what I have been doing and asked me for the report. I was caught off-guard and was really disappointed. I left the facility around 12am on Thursday night, went back on Friday night to shut down the place and went back on Saturday again to close things down and yet, that doesn't seem to be enough for him. Extra hours you worked, doesn't mean anything to them.
I don't recall my job description has a 24-hours on-call on it but, my phone can ring at anytime of the day! Weekends, 3.30am and all sort of time you can think of. I don't mind giving my life to my job but it has to be some job that even worth it! Or even someone or some boss who is worth it! This job, is not worth it.

Told KO about the PM thing and he asked me to go for that position. Yeah, right, like I don't have enough things to do. Besides, that's GM's biggest fear and if I step on that, I really need to watch my back very closely.

Sigh..started develop hatred against my workplace. Luckily, I know that my hatred didn't go beyond there.

人不可貌相

吃著桃子的時候，對"人不可貌相"這句話產生了一些疑問。

一顆外表漂亮，口感很好，又甜又可口的桃子，吃著、吃著，慢慢吃到中心的時候，才發現，核是發霉的！綠色的霉菌，資意地在核心中繁殖著，令人看了都覺得想吐！趕緊把桃子丟了，當時，第一個想法就是，"人不可貌相"。但，再深思一層，卻發現其實我在買的時候根本沒機會或無法知道那顆桃子是好的、還是壞的，除了把他切開了才能知道。

吃桃子，我們有機會把他買回來切開來審查，但，要點是，我們必須先擁有那個桃子。如果不是屬於你的桃子，你怎麼能夠把他切開呢？你去買個桃子，你總不會告訴那老闆，要他把桃子切開來給你審查吧？那你買了後，回家把他切開來，壞了，也不可能拿回去向老闆退貨吧？（除非你真的很欠揙）好吧，買個桃子，不會很貴，丟個壞桃子，也不會很難，對人呢？
我們是否有機會把那個人剖開來看看他們的內心是否是狠毒的呢？如果一個人就像那桃子一樣美麗、甜蜜、爽口，我們又要如何去發覺呢？

買桃子，你還有機會可以丟掉壞的桃子，人呢？我們是否可以買了個人，然後發現他是個爛桃子而把他拋棄呢？那，拋棄爛桃子的人會不會也是個殘酷的人呢？還是我們可以削掉爛的部分，睜隻眼，閉隻眼，得過且過地，把那顆桃子吃下去，暗地里希望自己不會因此而病死了？而且，要發現一個人是不是個爛桃子，有時候也需要蠻長的一段時間吧？因為人畢竟不是桃子，你不可能說要剖開就剖開，也得看那人願不願意。

帶眼識人。

Blur Blur Me..(cont'd)

Guess what time I got home on that Friday night after I went back to work? 5.30a.m.
Sigh..I am turning into a slave. Working for 21 hours! Even though I took 2 hours off after 6p.m. and went back home, but yet, 21 hours of working without any sleep!

After I went back to the plant, I ran into Lord Voldemort and all he said was, "Oh, you came back to help!" No thank you, no nothing. He is still mad at me for not being there on the Thursday night when they work till 3a.m.? So what?? What about when I worked from 3a.m. till 6p.m.? Were you there? Just Shut Up! Bunch of bull crap. I hate rich people! They are usually self-centered and unsympathetic.

Lord Voldemort asked Draco Malfoy to come back. Haha..It is so dramatic. So fun to watch. It is fun when you stop caring. Glad that I still can put up a smile and some humor when it is 4.30a.m. Well, you can be mad but still couldn't change a thing or you can choose to face it with happiness..Glad that I chose the later. It took me 2 days to fully recover from the physical tiredness. It does wear you out.

I didn't go back Saturday nor Sunday. Well, we will hear about some "teasing" tomorrow and questions too. WHATEVER.
1 more month, or maybe 4 more. Looking forward to it.

Despite all these, it had been a great weekend though. Thanks to all my TI friends. Yohoo!!! 1 more thing crossed off my list!

名字

嗯，我老媽和老豆似乎覺得他們生的女兒性格還不夠奇怪，所以想要我再換個名，換成“綺”字。天哪！干嘛要個那麼女性化的名字呀？奇怪的奇還好，反正我本來都有點怪了的，加個絲字邊，似乎怪理怪氣的，真搞笑！

我還好，他們還想把老大的名換成“嫦”，嫦娥的嫦！很不給面子地，我馬上暴笑得從床上滾了下來。不是說我姐有什麼不好，可嫦娥的“嫦”，未免太。。。*咳咳*

他們說，我們倆的名字太不普遍了，別人很難記得。哎，要普遍嘛，好，我就換個“乞”，乞丐的乞或“欺”，欺侮的欺或“棄”，拋棄的棄，總可以了吧？我媽快要被我氣死了。其實我該換個“气”字，反正我那麼會气人！嘿嘿嘿。。。

最後，我干脆告訴我媽，我姐就用那“嫦”字，而我呢，就用麒麟的“麒”，反正兩個都是不存在的傳說而已，而且，每個人都知道這幾個字。

好好的“菡”字或“萁”字有什麼不好呢？如果換個名真的能改命的話，為何還會有那麼多人每天都在過著痛苦的生活呢？外國人的英文名，又能怎麼算呢？

不但得換名，還得買個名牌來帶，真。。。

Blur Blur Me..

7.47a.m.! 7.47a.m.!! I can't believe my eyes when I woke up this morning. I have 13 minutes left to get ready PLUS get to the office. That's the consequence of not buying a new alarm clock!

Got to the office 1 minute before 8a.m. That's a very great way to start the day (Ok, I DID brush my teeth).

I started working on the inventory and checking on the orders that are going out that day, found out that we are short on certain products. Running back to the factory, changed into my uniform and started working on the line to get the products ready. While running around moving products from 1 pallet to another, I got my foot stuck in between 2 pallets while I was running and..the next thing I knew, my butt is on the floor and my shoe is stuck in the pallet! Now, I got a huge bruise on my knee that just recovered from running and I can hardly squad down on that leg! Urggghhhh...

After all the running and rushing, I decided to take a break. I went into the office and Lord Voldemort showed up and "teased" me about not showing up last night and they worked till 3a.m. Errr..dude, what do you expect? My annual salary is half the market price and more than 50% less than what you are paying the PM and I am doing half of his job! Give me a break! Well, that doesn't really bother me that much. I started not caring. Haha..fire me, if you are willing to. I know you wont cause you can't find another cheap labor like me anywhere else.

Get out from work quarter after 6pm and received a txt from a friend. He has to go back to HK because of family issue. Sigh..Hope everything will turn out fine for him. Guess I wont be seeing him in Oct then..

Time to go back to work. GM called me after I got home. He can't figure out the password to turn on my computer. Ha.Ha. Now I need to go back to help them before everybody turns into a bigger demon. Sigh..some of them worked for 18++ hours yesterday.
Life is tough, isn't it?
Earning money is not easy, isn't it?
Supporting a family is not easy, isn't it?
I am so grateful for the education and the brain I have. At least I know, things are going to get better as long as I am willing to try. The more I work, the more I know how to appreciate what I have right now.

Praying for KH. Hope everything will be fine for you.

星期天，和朋友去了另一个教会，牧师要我们祷告，我却站在教会中，思考着，有什么好祈祷的呢？发现到，我无所要求。

我始终相信，该来的，始终会来，该发生的，怎么也逃不过。是种对生命投降、对人生放弃的心态吗？还是种过于乐观的看法？