自己一个人在实验室，锁上了门，自在地做着我爱做的实验。有时在想，如果人生是这么简单，那有多好呢！已想不起何时在上班的时候可以那么自在了。工作，其实不难，人际关系，是最难的一门课，需要去管理人，是件难上加难的事。人呐！真复杂。

最近这几天，上班都不怎么专心，太多东西，太多人，太多事，太多要求了。开始了其中一个计划，半途又得放下一切，去忙别的工；忙完了那份，又有另一份工作需要我参与。零零碎碎的事情，有时可以耗上几个小时。每天顾客都会发电邮，要求这，要求那，不回电邮的结果是电话不停地响，接电话的又不停地用扩音器招我回办公室接电话，烦得我都快要打人了。手上好多文件待我去处理、去完成，但，也有好多更急的文件需要在定时完成。有时会想，是不是每份工都是这样的呢？还是只是这份而已？

这份工，人事上的变迁，比风雨还要难预测。经理的妻子决定辞职了，大老板刚刚拨了电话来和经理谈，结果即将揭晓了。昨天下班的时候，我终于都问了经理，他会待多久，他说，他也不知道。我想我也差不多是该走的时候了。

也许真的该去加州走一趟，看看那间学校，有机会的话，还可以和那教授谈谈，也许，转折就在那转角。

Mosquitflies? Flyquitoes?

This is a special breed of flies. They fly towards light. Is it a cross-bred of flies and mosquitoes? I got tons of Mosquitflies in my apartment right now. Urgggghhhh! No wonder they are dying off by themselves. There are no food around here!! Go away!!
Can't use my vacuum right now. Don't really want to hear a bang on my door from my neighbors. Driving me nuts..these tiny creatures.

Muahahaha..

Came back to a fly infested apartment. Freaking me out! It is the type with shinny body and makes tons of noise when flying around. That's the type I was afraid of when I was little. I can kill all those tiny black flies easily but I am just scared of those shinny ones cause they are usually bigger in size.

30 something flies are in my apartment!! Half dead, half alive. Look around to find the root to the problem but there are none! I don't have any food laying around or anything. Wonder why and how they decide that my apartment is their house when they don't even pay rent! Sigh..creatures are so unreliable nowadays..

Took a bunch of old newspaper, started smacking around. Finally, I decided to use some more civilized way to kill them. I took out the vacuum at 10.30pm and attacked all of them! Suck the life out of them! MUAHAHAHAHA...

Maybe I should learn from EVIL 1 by taping the dead body of those flies on the walls hoping that other flies would understand and stay away from my apartment when they refused to pay rent. Hmm...Or maybe I should just take their SSN and sue them..Hehehe..

I am EVIL.

Very Random

Someone who is good at what he/she is doing, doesn't mean he/she is a good person.
Does all the management position people has to be a jackass? Or they just lack of social skills?

I never find making fun of people with disability funny at all.

Started to understand why working experience is so important. It is an eye-opener and it is an instant growing up pill. Very grateful for the experience.

Someone once told me, "It is better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond". I used to agree with that but now, I don't know if that is very applicable to all case. It depends on what you are looking for in life. Being an important person in a company with not-so-good life quality? Or being an semi-important person with a better quality of life?

Going to meet a new customer tomorrow. Hopefully we can get her on board. A successful, working woman. Heard that another customer is scheduled to come in Aug. Life is getting interesting now.

Asking my GM about unpaid leave today. He kept emphasized that I wont get paid. I guess he hasn't realized that money isn't everything. Wonder what he would say if I ask for 1 month unpaid leave..Hahaha..tell him I am in labor..Hehehe..

Chatting with GM after work about one of our customers. We were guessing if he is straight (40ish, single, quite good looking, metrosexual). Hmm..Most people can accept gay people but when comes to their family members, they always have a hard time swallowing it. Sigh..

It is really time for bed now. Been a long day. Failed R&D projects bring me down badly. Time to learn to accept that not everything is going to turn out as I wished and there are successes and failures in life. There are also mistakes in life. The most important thing is to admit to it when it happened and take the initiative to fix it.

It will be an interesting day with CJ on board in our weekly meeting. Glad that part of the responsibilities are off my shoulder now but it hasn't go the way as I wished. Hopefully, he will understand and take over all his responsibilities soon and I can focus on things that are more important. Tons of work are being left behind and it is time to catch up before the busy season catch up on me.

Plan to challenge myself through the next 2 inspections. Be done by: May, 2008.

原來，消極是那麼恐怖和可怕的東西。
人要自救，才能救人。

IFT

REALLY REALLY REALLY TRULY SERIOUSLY wanted to go to IFT this year!!!!! I want to go!!! I want to go!!! I want to go!!! What a lousy company who didn't attend IFT. Can I go by my own? URGH!! I want to go!!! Most of the suppliers that I knew are going there! Some of our customer are going too!! All those companies are asking me or sending me invitations to visit them or even visit their facility if I go to IFT this year!! I wanted to meet those flavor chemist, I wanted to see a different processing facility, I wanted to meet new people, I wanted to build connection with the industry, I wanted to attend the seminars and learn about the new trend in the industry, I wanted to find a new job!!!! I miss seeing my professors and having breakfast with all the ISU Alums there. I miss talking to strangers and learn about their new products.

I want to go......Depressed... >_<

Weapon of Mass Destruction

Found a new WMD --> 3000 lbs liquid invert sugar. Stupidity is the way to a huge mess.
3000 lbs. of liquid invert sugar placed on a weak pallet spells TROUBLE.
Pallet broke, stick right through the invert tote and...we got a pool of liquid invert sugar! SWEEEEET, ain't it? Turned half of the warehouse into liquid invert skating rink. The funny thing is, GM was so mad and he wanted to walk over there and check out what the problem was, his slippery leather shoes are the best skate ever! Fell right on the sugar! Sweet butt. Luckily he didn't hurt himself.
Everything on that part of the warehouse was soaked with liquid invert. Some of them are just impossible to clean. Such a mess! Monday is already a bad day for most people, we have to add this on? Some of them even have to work overtime to help clean up that mess. Now we have to have another massive clean up since the invert sugar was tracked all over the plant under our shoes. I am quite...speechless...
How come people doesn't know how to act on the spot? When you see a broken invert tote started dripping out, the first thing you do is to take it outside, right? No! They set it on the warehouse floor and watch it flow!! If that's not enough, none of them intended to come and get any of us to ask us what to do with it! I was just right next door!
By the time I saw that, there were already 2500 lbs invert on the floor. I was speechless.

It's been a looong day. Suffering from insomnia (now I understand why they call it red-eye flight and how panda eyes looked like), worked non-stop for 9 hours and have to try to figure this new guy out..I am worn out. Holding the responsibility of being the Toastmaster, I can't bail out on the meeting. What makes it even better is that, I ran into RV & LV after the post-toasties. I am having a damn good day!

Some people just don't understand and don't know how and when to be serious. It is not what you want nor what you like, it is what the CUSTOMER wants, ok? Being in the industry for so long and you still don't understand this point. Show me your talent and what you can really do, not a bunch of criticisms and no action. Everybody deserves a second chance and I need a FREAKING VACATION!!!

Some people like to put others down to make themselves look smart and good. You are a Lutheran? You go to church? What a joke! Shame on you! Stop putting god's name in front of you when you can't follow god's way.

I am very very grouchy and grumpy today. Lack of sleep, I supposed.

************************************

Why telling me which way to go and which path to choose when you are not there while I needed you the most?

最近，上班上得好累，不是因為不夠睡而累，而是沒有假期沒有休息地做而累垮了。終於都明白假期的重要性。
讀書和做研究生的時候，累了，還可以好好安排時間放自己幾天假，做些令自己開心的事，或出去溜躂幾個小時。上班後，卻失去了這種自由。累了，不能說要出去透透氣就可以出去透透氣，問題想不通，也不能說出去轉個圈清一清思緒回來再解決；下了班，還得為明天的事而煩，或為生活上的瑣事而忙，想要好好休息都好像好難。經理蠻信任我，很多時候都是我自己在按排我的工作表，可是一個人身兼那麼多個職位，再怎樣按排，都很難抽空透口氣。
有時候，真的希望有個室友，至少生活上的問題可以分擔一些。

最近這幾天，下班後，吃飽了就倒頭大睡，睡了幾個小時才起來，還是覺得很累。這樣墮落下去是不行了。每天三杯咖啡還是沒效。

我需要假期。
好想回去讀書。反正這份工作似乎不太有挑戰性了，覺得悶悶地。。。

明天可以不回去 Ames 嗎？懶得應酬。。

>_<

KH今天很難過。巫婆和巫公（LV和RV）今天到了，她覺得他們對她的態度很冷漠，搞得她考慮辭職。很想嘗試開解她，卻覺得好難。發了封電郵給她，跟她說了Nat常告訴我的，"You are a great person, do not let anyone tell you nor make you feel otherwise."希望她可以看得開一點。
知道巫婆很討厭我，可我就不在乎，不懂是好事還是壞事？Romeo要我學會怎麼討好巫婆，我卻覺得這種做法很要不得。固執？嗯。。

有個人最近常告訴我，我必須學會做家務、煮飯，等等之類的事，因為那是身為妻子的責任。甚麼世紀了？想要我走入這類十八世紀的婚姻？妄想！
我們總是想著別人能帶給我們甚麼，卻不懂得想想，我們能帶給別人甚麼。人，都是自私的。

突然很想找個人說說話。是時候回電話了。好想妳，好想見見妳，也許是時候飛了。先回了妳的電話再說吧。

最近生活上的事，都搞得一塌糊塗，煮東西煮到睡著了，鍋都焦了；洗衣洗到整籃衣都變粉紅色了，心不在焉吶！

累。累。累。

)@*$)&@$&amp;&(!)*@_(%$)@&(&^#(!@(*!)*$_*@)#$&(&@!@*$&*#^^$%^%@$#^%@*#^(@*&#$)*@)

URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!

Praying..

RV and LV are coming tomorrow and leaving on next Tuesday. It will be a looong week. KH (GM's wife) and I are betting on who will get yell by LV. The one survived will have to treat the other an Applebee's lunch.
It is going to be a very intensive tongue holding week. Bite it! Bite it! That way, you will survive.
Sometimes really wished for the freedom to walk out instead of putting up with those ridiculousnessessss. Trapped. Nightmare. Insomnia. Self-torturing..Idiot..
New PlM is starting next Monday. Looking forward to more drama, live show and backstabbing. It is going to be G.R.E.A.T. Planned to stick around and see what's going to happen next. It will be some interesting experience.

R&D turned out badly today (according to my own standard). Wonder why. Probably due to my carelessness. Didn't really watch what AJ was doing. PrM is right. I should be more careful with that two-faced-egocentric-chronic-complainer. Redoing it again Wednesday. Hopefully RV would leave me alone this time.

I am "SO" looking forward to the next 5 working days. Please, do not ask me out for dinner. 9.5 hours a day is more than enough. Not asking for much, just asking for a peaceful next 5 days. Hopefully, Romeo is coming too.

Received a package today. Brought up some memory. Can't believe it has been that long. Glad that it is over.
Finally.
Thanks, M.

I found LOVE

~Best picture taken ever~

by Keny Ooi

It is so hard. We tried to take it again, the sun is no longer at the same position. No photoshop or whatsoever was done on this picture. I did resize it. That love shape is so...PERFECT!

Oh, by the way, that's my current girlfriend. ^-*
Let the sun show my love for her to the whole world...Wo Hoo...

Salute!!

Dedicated to CTF! My salute to you..
Hehehe..Don't kill me please..

Just Thoughts..

Consecutively, 3 weeks. Didn't make it this week. Felt a little bit disappointed. Not sure what does that really mean to me and how do I look at it. Treat it as a place for self-reflection? Treat it as a time for reminding myself of who I am? Don't mean to stir up anything but I think it will.

Accepting someone, including their good and bad. Just realized that it does apply to friend too. Some people have both extremely lovable characteristic and extremely obnoxious attitude. Used to think that avoiding them is the best way to solve the problem. Now, I am learning to deal with them and learn to accept their good and bad. Accepting and ignoring their bad side is the way to find peace?

Someone once told me, "There are two sides on a sheet of paper, we have to learn to look at both sides instead of one."

Addicted to Overflow's "Cry On My Shoulder"

July 4th!!! Hilary!!!!

Guess what? I met Bill and Hilary Clinton today and I shook their hands today. If that's not enough, I had a picture taken with Hilary!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Try to top that!!
That feeling was...indescribable!! I was literally jumping around after that. How many chances do you get to be able to see the President, shook his hand and even took picture with an ex-First Lady/Possible-Future-First-Female-President? On top of that, I am a foreigner!!! This is one of the best July 4th I ever had.

I called EH early before the parade started and told her I am going to see Clinton today. She wasn't very impress. I called her after the parade and told her about the picture...WAHAHAHAHAHA... Jealous?? Lalalala....Told you to come..That's how close I was with Bill Clinton. I am regret now that I was too chicken to ask Bill for a picture. Hehe..My friend got the newspaper signed by Bill though. He had to sign it with his own pen. He cannot sign it with the pen we handed him because they afraid we might put some bomb in the pen. One thing weird when I met Bill Clinton was that he stared at me for quite some time. I guessed seeing a foreigner in a small town like this is not very common?? Hmm..

The price to pay for the pic? I got very tanned...

I went to the Carnival after that. They have many different rides and band playing in the band shell. They even have funnel cake and different kind of food. At that point, I really miss KY!!! I was planning to wait till 4.30pm for the dance performance from the dancing school in this town but I was way too tired after standing under the sun for so long. I ended up went back home and took a looong nap. Haha..

The Carnival will still be here till Friday night. I probably will stop back again to get the Funnel cake. I sneaked a bite off my friend's and it was better than the one I had in CR during the BBQ festival. Anyone joining me??

I watched 2 fireworks and both of them were great. The one that I watched last night, is on my one of the best firework list. It was over a high school football field, so, they have several firework set on the field that shoot up in addition to the one that they shot up into the air. The whole picture was really great. They even have a stand up firework that shoot the flag of America at the end. I didn't take any pictures because I am staying too close to the firework and wasn't able to capture the whole picture nicely. Before the firework, they have some performance. One of the performer had performed in Oprah's show before.

The second one, I watched it over the lake tonight. They set 3 different stations on the lake to shoot up the firework. It was shot from 3 different directions and at 3 different timing. I was sitting on the grass field. The view should be better if I sat at the dock where they park the boat. I saw the reflection of the firework on the lake and it was great. Too bad I wasn't sitting closer to the lake.

Having people who cared about me, is what make the whole July 4th the best thing ever. Thanks, everyone.

Been asked this questions many times and I still can't figure out the answer.
What's life?
You go through ups and downs, you overcome the downs and you cheer when you have ups, and at the end, the whole process repeated itself over and over again. You might say, each ups and each downs are different and you have different experience in each of them. What is the use of all those experiences anyway? When you die, you don't bring them to your grave cause you can't bring anything to your grave. You might leave a memory in the person who are still alive and that’s it. I am no Ghandi, I am not Mother Theresa, and I don't believe I have the power to influence so many people like they did. So, why are these experiences important?
If what Christian believed is true, you go to heaven after you die. So, what do you do in heaven? If I will be doing nothing in heaven, I think I will be very very bored.
If what Buddhism believed is true, you reincarnate, you become something else or someone else and come back to this world. So, what now? Repeat the whole process of life all over again?

I have been thinking too much. Is it good to think about questions like this? Will that make you a better person because you "kinda" re-evaluate your life? Or it just turns you into some weirdo or pessimistic person?
Should you be living your life without thinking about this kind of question and just work, play and go with the flow? Or you should think about this kind of question and try to make a change? But how? What kind of changes? Quit your job? Become a missionary? Or become a monk?

Time to look for volunteer work.

Hypocrite

Thinking about giving my two cents to a friend. Took me a while to try to figure out a way to say it without sounding like criticizing. During the whole thinking process, started to realize that the things that I wanted to say, I did it myself quite often as well. Felt like a hypocrite at that point. Was trying to explain to myself why I act that way but it wasn't convincing enough for me to even convince myself about my own act. Decided to give it up. Not to say a word is better than being a hypocrite.
Been trying not to be a hypocrite. Started realized that hypocrites are a very sub-standard species since I started working and dealing with the company politics.

Am I a stubborn person? Or I am someone who only believes in what I see? They were trying to convince me that the old PlM is a very very bad person but I still don't believe it. I didn't see it. Deep down, I know who is the people I should watch for and who I should walk away from.

Discovered a dark secret today. Sigh....Disappointed.