他X的!

做贼的喊捉贼，真讽刺！

=.='

Been working since 4 something this morning. I am exhausted now. I just want to go home!!!

Running a new product line today. The customer is here to watch it. Makes it worse.

Pretty much everything that could go wrong, did turn out bad.

First, the weight and the extruder dropping time, doesn't tune up nicely. It takes us 30 minutes to get it almost-right.

Second, the Markem printer didn't meet up to our standard, so, we bring the Dinozzi printer over for the unit code date. Then, the fin seal is blocking the print area, so, we have to fix it. The unit code dater problem solved after 30 minutes.

Third, the Marpak doesn't work. The cardboard got stuck and blocked the whole packing line. Temporary fixation is not allowed since the customer is here right now. Reputation! We are talking about reputation. Ended up, having more people than we estimated to work on that line just for the Marpak.

The case coder packing line, the box is too small to go through by itself. We have to manually push it through. Oh well, the printer wouldn't print properly if the speed is not consistent or right. Have to haul another case coder packing line over and luckily, it works!!

Things went smoothly. 1st mix, 2nd mix, different flavor's 1st mix....then, the customer requested us to bake some up to try it. So, I did. Guess what? The quality is BAD, HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, UNBELIEVABLE!!

Ended up, doing reformulation all over again. Thank god it is not my recipe!

I just want to go home..and make a nice meal for myself...
Tired.....

尋找

In search of something that I can't seem to find.
Just realized that that is what I have been looking for.
Just realized that that is what I have been missing.
Just realized that we are all looking for the same thing.
Just realized that, sadly, I still have no clue how and where to find it here.

After seeing the whole mess KY has to go through, I realized what I have been looking for.
Option 2 is where I can find what I am looking for, but now, Option 2 is not an option yet.
Sticking with Option 1!!

-------------------------------

Met a newer generation guy. His naiveness is a very sweet thing that we can't seem to find in most guys nowaday. Genuine love? Bravo, kiddo! Distant is not a problem when two hearts joined.

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You --

by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

-

Finally, after a few months of procastinating and dragging, I finished this book. It is a highly recommended book by most people who read it including my friends. I promised myself I would write a review after finishing this book, and here it is!

-

He's Just Not That Into You If:

1. He's Not Asking You Out
2. He's Not Calling You
3. He's Not Dating You
4. ------
5. ------
6. He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk
7. He Doesn't Want to Marry You
8. He's Breaking Up With You
9. He's Disappeared on You
10. He's Married (Or Emotionally Unavailable)
11. He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

This is a summary I took from the Table of Contents. There are more examples and explanations after each chapter on how these rules applied. It is good to learn that there are many excuses that we accepted from guys, are sometimes just plainly unacceptable. I can relate to this book pretty well by experiences especially experiences from the discussion with my girl friends.

Dating game in this country is much harder than back home, or maybe, as we get older, it gets harder. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt. While we were young, when we go to lake or beach, we just jumped right in and have fun. As we get older, we will test to see if the water is cold, check if the water is clean, and see if there is any dangerous creature or something harmful in there before we even decide whether we want to jump in or stay out. It is sad but that's how we learned to protect ourselve and at the same time, shutting others out. Maybe most of my friends are more of an Analytical person than an Emotional person. Emotional people will tend to give it all out and live with no regrets. Analytical people, they would probably try to figure out all the goods and bads and calculating the costs and risks before they jump right in. Is it lucky to be an Analytical people? Or is it better to be an Emotional one? I think I'd rather be an Analytical people when it come to work, but be an Emotional one when it comes to love. Live life with no regrets, eh?

Overall, this is a very great book. I would highly recommend it too all my girl friends, single or not, or guys, who would like to learn what is the right way to treat girls.

After reading this book, when I heard stories from my friends and realized that those guys are just not that into them, I am still kinda hesitated to tell them. Writing this after-thoughts might help some people out there who are wondering about this book. It is actually a very helpful manual.

Time to ditch the one who is just not that into you and give a chance to find the love you deserved. All people --- Men, Woman, Gay, Straight, or otherwise -- are entitled to awesome relationships while they are enjoying their stay here on Earth. ---- Greg

Am I taking it too lightly? Is it really that serious of a matter? Am I really in danger?

^o^

GM been busy these few days. Have to face the supplier by myself sometimes. Meet up with 2 suppliers and a consultant. Turned out, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Flying solo wasn't that hard. Haven't got a chance to face the customer myself yet, except on the phone (it wasn't pleasant) but I know it is coming. Next 2 weeks, 2 customers are coming. I might have to be the one to deal with them from the way GM puts it. Gotta learn to hide my fear.
-
7 months, 7 new products and several shelf-life improved products. *big grin*
-
Got the Organic Certificate today, finally!! Was so excited when NC handed me the fax. Almost wanted to walk out of the office and go for a beer. One more thing crossed off my To-Learn list.
Kosher, Organic, HACCP, GMP, SOP, SSOP, Nutritional Labels, part OSHA and Emergency Management Training, and Production Scheduling. Whatelse can I learn here?
-
Overheard that they are getting a new PlM. Hmm..it will be very interesting to work with another new people. Hopefully, he wont be an ego-oriented butthead like some people.
-
Don't understand why people wouldn't choose to do things that benefits everyone, makes everyone happy and at the same time, able take the heat off themselves? Stubborn is not the way to go, my dear. Luckily, my temper kept me from going head to head with him. Well, I am just doing him a favor, if he doesn't want to listen, it will falls on him if anything happened. We always had a choice.
-
1 more year, a little more people management skills, 1 more AIB inspection, perfecting the OSHA and Emergency Management plan, Product Quality Manual and Training Plan, Process Control Practices, Maintenance and Machinery Knowledge, Price Negotiation Skills...I will be way ahead of many people in this field! That's actually the quality they are looking for in PlM.
-
Seeing so much changes and improvements in myself, I am very glad. It's tough, it sucks, but it is worth the challenge.
-
Time to go back to school?

無言

做一個男人可以做到那麼低賤，做一個人可以做到那麼無恥，我對你也只有個“服”字。
甘拜下風！

NC 所贊同的提議，真的有夠絕！好吧，如果你還敢來找我，我就這麼告訴你了。

爁人一個！
可笑哪，人類！

Simple Life

A cup of hot coffee + my newly formulated, finally succeeded cookie = Marvelous!!

Al told me everyone likes the version with chocolate chunks in it and I am the only one who like the plain one. Simple is the best.

Finally, done with this one. Actually, we already had orders for this cookie. Maybe, I should start keeping track on how many cookies or cookie dough that I created were on the market now.

What's next? So happy..With no bakery background, I survived till now on my R&D position. Hahaha..Am I smart, or what? Lalalala..(here comes the Ego Me)

Looking forward to the bombardment and ego flashing in the weekly meeting tomorrow. Too bad Romeo wont be here to join the fun. ^-^ Maybe I should start joining them and pick some fight for no reason..Hahaha..
Oh well, life goes on. =)

FRIDAY!!!!! 4 more hours..

So worry about you. Nothing I can do. I can just try my best to stop you before you do anything that hurt everyone. Passion? Love? Lust? I have spoken my opinion but you have to be the one making the decision. I will stand by you no matter what.

Is it really that hard to find a good man? Maybe. "Sleepless in Seattle" said, "You have 30% higher chance of being killed by terrorist than getting a good husband after 30".

I still believe there is no justification for cheating.

??

Was talking to a friend last night and he questioned me about how I spent my time after work. I started thinking about it..and realized that I don't usually do anything useful after work! It kinda bugged me throughout the night to find out that I stopped learning. I tried to enroll myself in some classes but was taken back by the possible conflict with the OT that I might have to put up at work. Now, I think it is time for me to think about myself rather than put the work before my personal life.

Time for re-evaluation.

Asked NIACC lady that day about Piano lesson. Time to learn it again?
Still missed my instrument back home. Always wished that they are here. Still prefer strings instrument.

Going back for dancing classes? Tap dance? Ballet? Ballroom? Or learn some new dance?

Time for a change.

Thanks, R, for bringing that up to me. Maybe I should start looking for activity partner in this city...

Quarter Century Old..

Finally, finally, I am Quarter Century Old!
Things been great thus far. I am lucky.
Thanks, everyone! It is touching and lovely for what all of you had done for me. I think this is the type of celebration that I am more comfortable with.

Happy Birthday, to me!
It is just another day but I am finally, officially, 25th!

*******************************************

Updated 6/13/2007

Chatting with Pam earlier about birthdays. She asked me, what's the most unforgettable birthday I ever had?
Honestly, I don't know.
When I was young, I thought, birthday should be celebrated in a very grand way with all the friends coming over. But then, I felt like it had became an obligation for me to be all happy and perk during the whole celebration. It was more pressure than fun especially when it is a surprise party. I don't like to host party, and I definitely don't like to be the center of attention for the whole party. I am quite fine if someone host it but it kinda worn me out if I had to host it.

As I get older, I started to learn that birthday, is just another day. Honestly, I thought I would be devastated because I don't have any closed friends here to celebrate it with me this year, but all the phone calls, cards, gifts that came from all over the world, is actually more than enough to make my day. It is the thought that count.

Whenever people asked me what I want for my birthday, my answer will always be -->

Something that money can't buy.

I had received some expensive gifts that were actually hurtful than thoughtful. It is the meaning and thoughts behind the gifts that make it special.

Your friendship, is the best gift to me. True friends, are hard to find. True friends that lasted for so long, is a gem that we should treasure.

Thanks again, everyone, for all the phone calls, the greetings, the birthday cards, the gifts, and the birthday songs that were sang in so many different languages. My life wouldn't be the same without you guys.

I love you all!

Flooded...

Realized something very..........today.

Very impressed with my skills. I am speechless. How did I get here? Or I am always there? Is it good? Or bad?

Flooded, very badly. Unbelievable.

I tried my best, I gave my best, I did my best, I am just not made for that. On the urge of giving up.
Don't use your standard to judge others. We are not made equally. You have your weakness, and so do I. This, is my weakness. Forgive me if I am not as strong as you are or if I can't live up to your standard. That's just who I am.

以為轉身，可以找到來時的路，卻發現，那條路，已被雜草埋沒了。再回首，發現荒野中只留下我一個獨行。

Friday Night Out..

First time ever, I realized that there are quite many people in this city.
First time ever, I went out for a drink in this town.
First time ever, I stepped foot into VFW.
First time ever, I got to know so many different people and felt comfortable around them.
First time ever, I attended a Park Concert and actually enjoyed it.

So many first time in one night.
The park was filled with more than a hundred people. Those people came from cities around here. Is that band really that popular? I don't know. They are pretty good for my standard. The atmosphere was great and all the people there are nice. Some of them invited me for a boat trip on their boat this Sunday, some of them invited me to their house for July 4th, some of them invited me to their swimming pool or hot tub. For people you met for the first time, it is quite an honor to be treated that way.

T bought me drinks the whole night to celebrate my upcoming b'day. Liquid cocaine is very strong. VFW is popular with their real strong cocktail drinks. SS's husband, B, been opening up beer after beer for me. I think I did quite well with my alcohol.

All these time, I never wanted to go out with them because I really don't know how to trust them. Being their manager, getting too close might affect my job. You can act professionally but it doesn't mean they can. Aside from that reason, I am afraid of getting too attach to this city. Leaving people behind has always been tough.

Well, I had a great time.

Advice: Do the job you were told to, regardless what people are going to say about you or who is going to be mad at you. What your boss think is the most important thing.
Is that true? I am quite confused now.

Sigh..silly thought. Can't even believe that I had that thought! Been reading too much into something that I shouldn't. Been reading too much nutritionless book and started generating crazy thoughts.

Time to unpack and make it feel like home. Hopefully, they will forget about it and wont get me any furniture. I enjoyed an empty house with plenty of space for my personal activities. =)

My Romeo stopped by!! Hehe..So happy to see him. Gave me a few tips on butt-kissing.

4 am? No Way!

4 a.m., someone from work called. Coincidently, I decided to leave my cellphone in my living room last night. So glad I did that. Can think of 3 people who would call me at that time to make me go in or ask me questions. Too bad, I no longer care as much as I used to.

Like the GM always said, with or without any one of us, the company should still function well. With that said, you don't need me at that time.

生日，老了！

嗯。。才發現，今天是我農曆的生日。在這最後一分鐘，還是沒甚麼感覺。人老了？

又搬家了。還是一團亂，設法整理著。希望，在我住在這城市的日子里，可以不再搬家了。更希望，住在這城市的日子，盡快結束。感覺好像虛度了青春。

最近有個朋友在 Friendster 上找到了我，但，無論我怎麼努力，我的回憶中，卻找不到她的影子。她告訴我有個朋友在找我，那朋友，我倒是記得他，但她，卻好像不曾存在過。。過客？
記憶衰退，老化的象徵。

最近，自立多了。學會了怎麼換澡蓬，學會了怎麼安裝水的過濾器，學會了怎麼一個人搬家。這就是人生的一部份吧？
人，是能獨立生存的生物嗎？

It is so f-up!
It is so screw up!
It is so mess up!!
I am so stressed out..
At this point, I just want to cry, I just want to leave, I just want to go home.

I kept asking myself, what can I do?! Nothing!! I am nobody!
The hopelessness and helplessness is getting more and more unbearable. I don't know how long I can last. I am very lost at this moment..
How could people be so unreasonable? How could things get so out of hand? How could everything turned upside down in few hours?! Is that the surprise that is awaiting me everyday? When is this going to be over? Never?!

氣哪！

很鬱悶哪！朋友的婚禮是去不成了。全部人都會去參加，除了我！他們還開玩笑說要擺個webcam來現場直播婚禮，那我就會是算"remote"參加了婚禮，越說越覺得可悲哪！一生人一次的事，我卻不能出席。幾年不見的朋友，好不容易大家有個機會聚在一塊兒，我又不能出席！甚麼爛東西啊！
還以為可以拿個無薪假，卻發現不行。甚麼爛公司，他媽的！若不是因為某些原因，辭職回去參加婚禮還要好過，還要開心！反正和這種無良的老闆打工也沒甚麼意思。
唉。。人生是充滿驚喜的，很希望，我會有個能讓我參加這場婚禮的驚喜，即使是最後一秒，要給貴點的機票回去，我都會去。
二十五歲的生日，有兩個願望，其中一個實現了，都會是最佳的禮物。這是我現在唯一的心願。
也許，是時候考慮另一條路線了？

URGH!!

Today's meeting went on for hours. It was so intense. When you get all the ego-oriented people in the same room, "shit hit the fan", that's what my PM said. I was very amazed at how finger pointing can be done and how responsibility can be thrown at others while he himself is at fault.

Procrastinator + nosy + lazy ass + ego = MS

I have been the one who can always get along with all these ego-oriented people. This time, I pretty much have had enough. You don't come to me and tell me that I have never told you to do this when deep down, you know that you have to do it and you know why! In fact, I have told you why long time ago while the old PM was here and I have told you when to do it too! Don't fxxking mess around with me! Use your time wisely, do what you are supposed to do and butt out from other people's business! My R&D has nothing to do with you, My QC has nothing to do with you, My inventory has nothing to do with you! When I told you to do it on a more frequent basis, you asked me why, fine. It is common sense, but if you don't have it, I will tell you why. When I asked you why you didn't do it when you had that chance to do it, you started asking why it is your responsibility and throw the blame at the PM for not allowing you to train other people while you have that freaking ego to want to be the only one to know!!

GM, I have only 2 hands, 1 brain, 2 legs, 1 mouth and 2 shoulders! There are only so much I can do in 1 day! I am not a superwoman! Don't expect me to be a RD, QC, Inventory, Purchasing, Receptionist and still expect me to finish all these in 1 day! When you don't give me the information I need, I can't finish the freaking job! Don't jump on me when the customer throw the pressure on you! I can't do nothing if you don't give me the information I need! Please, understand that. You can either trust me all, and give everything to me and let me finish it, or you can do it yourself!!

URGH!! I seriously, deeply, want to walk out from here.

I need a break.