Can't You?

Very obvious. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? Seriously?
Cause I can.

Too much to do, too much to think.
Decided to do it, decided not to think.

Good News

Well, I am quite happy that everything turns out fine today. Finally, got my driver license renewed, my project is going, and my living expenses is well taken care of (at least for right now). Everything seems to be quite perfect, I don't think I could ask for more than a life like this (except wasn't able to be home for CNY). I am very grateful for those who stand by me and supported me all these time. Without them, this perfect day wouldn't have come to me that soon, or never will. I am very very lucky to have friends like them.
My thesis, quite unproductive though. Gotta write this all the time to remind myself how lazy I am lately.

Sigh..all my friends are going back for CNY already, felt kinda down about that. This is my 5th year celebrating CNY here. Should've chosen to study abroad in Australia. At least, their summer is always around CNY, then I can go home every year. Sigh..the biggest event of the year, I am missing out. I am getting grumpier..I guess is the side effect of home sick as well, since I just got back from M'sia not long ago.
Alright..I don't even know what I am writing now. Better stop before I start swearing again.
Anyway, wish everyone:

新年快樂
萬事如意
身體健康
財源廣進

Wasn't in the mood of working on my thesis, so, here I am again, whining about my not-so-perfect life.
Not much progress these few days. Sigh..SELF DISCIPLINE!!! I really need to learn that now. I was good at it and for some reason, I am bad at it now. FOCUS!! It is so hard, rather go to sleep. Hehehe..side effect of winter (finding excuses).
I know I will go to Club-e for at least another 3 times before I am done with my thesis and defense. This Saturday, next Friday, and..can't recall now. Brain malfunction.
Ok, going home now.
Everyone..
Happy Chinese New Year!! In case I am lazy to write these few days, since I got so many plans for the CNY now.

飛蛾撲火，自取滅亡。

飛蛾撲火，自取滅亡。
戀愛中的人，都是這樣的，對嗎？如果你不願意撲火，那代表你愛得不夠深，是這樣的嗎？
LL 說我是那種愛撞得焦頭爛額的盲飛蛾。

永不再見

好了，玩飽了，鬧夠了，決定了，投降。
退出吧，也許根本沒進入過。
堅定點，別動搖，不可以動搖。對大家都好。
享受過了，是時侯面對現實了。
請走吧，永不再見！

P/S：姐說：一旦作了决定， 就要坚持下去

The punishment for breaking my promise came too soon. My knees are hurting now. Sigh..

Just some thoughts..

Just got back from Club-e. Yeah, I know I promised myself (not really promise though) that I will not go to the bar until I am done with my thesis, but, I broke the promise within, a week. Hehehe..SELF DISCIPLINE!!! Sigh..I suck at this.
While dancing in Club-e, I finally figured out and admitted to what I really missed lately. I knew it all along and I was just denying it. Thought that denying it and lying to myself might help a little, but, still, I have to face it finally. Not planning to solve it though, cause solving it wont bring me any good either. Well, I guess I just have to learn to deal with it. That's part of growing up, isn't it?

Was chatting with YC this morning. Realize that when life gives you challenges, and turns your world upside down, the only thing you can do is face it, get over it and move on. That's the only way. If you stop there, you are going to stuck there all by yourself. No one in this world is going to stop with you. That's quite a pessimistic view of life but, that's the bloody truth. YC told me, you will be happy when you are able to solve everything by the end. That's quite true too..just if, the ending is the one that you wanted it.
There are so many decisions to make about life. I am still stuck on the junction. Huh..just realized that I had been on this same junction for two years already. Pathetic, rite? It's time to act like a grown up now.

Time to go to bed. Shoot! My bedroom smells like cigar!! Damn it! What stupid things did I do tonight? Oh yeah..don't want to think about it right now. Nite..everyone

Wish Granted!!

I am very very very happy now even though none of my problems were solved, cause, it is snowing outside!!!
Unbelievable!! My wish is granted. Thanks.
Hopefully, everything will turn out alright. Never been in such a huge mess before. Thanks to those who gave me supports and advices. A huge thanks to those who pushed me to stand up for myself and never gave up on me. I really love you guys..

Wishing for snow..

Wishing for snow right now. Please, come down. I really need one, a huge one. That might help me to forget my problems.
Now, I finally found out how much I could take in one day. Thanks to you, bitch! Keep pushing it, it wont bring any good to any of us if I quit. You should be glad that I know that. Sigh..life didn't leave me any choices. How could everything happened in one day? One single day! One morning!!
Year 2006, what a warm welcoming gift you brought me..
Life goes on..I guess that's part of growing up.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I really really need it!

才知道，原來，星期一是公共假期。真迷糊，拿我自己沒辦法，打救不了我的痴呆。發現我越來越笨了！還是本來就蠻笨的了，只是從來都不承認而已。可能是吧！算了，別想那麼多了，明天還得早起去修車。祝我好運啦！
最近迷上了《六色彩虹》和《知足》這兩首歌。

Money

I guess the reality of life had got a piece of me. Money had became a big issue to me. Is all about money..money..and, MONEY!!
Sigh..gotta get out of this as soon as possible before I lost myself. But, how?

呼。。告訴自己，要冷靜。
好想放棄。好過份，妳難道不懂我不是超人嗎？如果你認為我是的話，那，讓我告訴妳，我是超級平凡的人的那一種超人！怎麼可以這樣？！太過份了！
好煩！很想逃離！這些人，怎麼都那麼過份？！好想炒妳魷魚！若不是為了這紙文憑，我早就一走了之了！呼。。冷靜。。冷靜。。
唉。。真不知道該怎麼辦。。回家吧。。已無能為力了！
為什麼，長大後，什麼事都得去爭取呢？為什麼不能順其自然呢？為什麼順其自然便會失去呢？事業是如此，學業也是如此，感情也是如此。。做人好累。如果什麼都不曾擁有過，會不會快樂些？看破紅塵的人，是不是比較快樂？我希望我什麼都不想擁有。

原點

感覺，好像回到了原點。
是件好事嗎？為何我不但感覺不到那屬於興奮的心跳，反而，有點惆悵呢？
開始相信，世上無解決不了的事。