Merry Christmas!!!

Went for a skiing trip at Sundown Mountain with KY last Saturday. It was a great experience. I have lots of fun and finally overcame my fear of skiing.
I have skied once few years ago and it was a terrible experience. Since then, I have avoided skiing and was not very excited about the skiing trip. I was reluctant to put on my ski gear and I didn't even bring my gloves, hat nor my scarves. I was wearing a pair of jeans. I know I am heading for a disaster without those. Luckily, KY got an extra pair of gloves and I used my hood as my hat. It was not a good idea cause my hair kept falling into my face and blocking my view but, what else can I do?
That's me with my ski gear before putting them on and heading for the disaster.
We paid $50 bucks for renting the ski equipments, an 1 1/2 hour ski lesson, and bunny area ski lift. It was pretty cheap compared to the first one I went. The ski lesson starts at 3pm. We have an hour of free time before the ski lesson and we decided to try it out ourselves.
I was scare at first when I put on my ski gear. I was planning to stand there till I gave up but the man made snow was not as soft and fluffy and it was not as slippery as the real snow. So, I gave it a try. Everything went smoooothly. I was quite happy about that.
We attended the ski lesson at 3pm. The instructor taught us how to stop, how to turn and how to slow down. He also showed us how to get on the lift and get off the lift (Yes, I am THAT bad).
That's me and the instructor, Tim on the "Magic Carpet".
That's me trying to get off from the lift and try not to fall.
KY ski down the slope nicely.
After all the training, we headed down the easiest slope. I was soooo goood that I...fell face down. One of my ski flew off my feet, hit my head and fell in front of me. I was confused when I get up and saw the ski in front of me. I thought that I broke my leg and that's why the ski is in front of me. Well, luckily that wasn't the case. I left a 2 inches bruise on my leg and a small bruise on my arm. I am not quite sure how they got there.
After the ski lesson, we went for some fries and hot chocolate. I was freezing my butt off!! FOR REAL. I can feel my butt cheek....ICE COLD. My jacket was obviously not warm enough either. It was windy that day. I was FREEZING.
After the break, we ski for a couple of times and then we headed home.
It was a great experience and it definitely changed my mind about ME skiing. Hope that I can do it again some other time before the winter is over. This might be my last winter. Who knows?

Oh, before I forget,
~MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE~
Hope all your wishes come true and please believe that Santa does exist. =P Got a great binocular as my Christmas gift this year. Thank you very much..Cheryll. Will put it to good use very soon, I hope. Got a TV as my Christmas gift from the company. Life is kinda good now.
Miss you all sooo much.

保重

終於的終於，說再見的時刻還是來臨了。五年多了，這次的分離，真的好難受，好像和情人分手一樣，令人窒息的難受。我們一起走過了那麼多風風雨雨，起起落落，妳的離開，令我措手不及，不知所措。也許我一直都在逃避著我們將要分開的事實，所以才會更難過，更不知所措吧。想著未來的日子，感覺好陌生，好害怕。習慣了和妳分享一切，和妳一起笑，和妳一起鬧，和妳一起消磨無聊的時光，和妳砌磋對策，和妳斗嘴，和妳冷戰，和妳吵架，和妳聊心事，被妳罵，被妳批評，還有許多，許多。。。少了妳，真的不知道該怎麼辦。。。雖然我倆的性格非常極端，時常為了芝麻小事爭執不休，但當大難臨頭的時候，我知道，妳將會在我身邊陪著我走過這一切。

這幾年，我倆就像對好姐妹般，有妳的地方，或有我的地方，都很難會少了另一個。這一幅畫面，將不會再重現了吧！妳走後，感覺到，連呼吸的空氣也是孤獨的。好難過。

寫著，寫著，眼淚又不小心地滑落了。很不幸地，前天、昨天和今天，在別人面前哭得一塌糊塗。在開著車回來的路上，腦海中不停地回想著這幾年來我們相處的時光，眼淚又不受控制地流了下來。已經忘了上一次是什麼時候，情緒曾經那麼失控過。我從來都不是在別人面前流淚的人，這一次，就這一次，覺得好失敗。回到家，想起妳來這兒陪我的那段時光，好難過。

人生的旅程中，這些悲歡離合，我已經經曆了無數次，但還是不能習慣，不能無動於衷，更何況是陪我一起成長的妳的離別。原來，我沒有我想像中的那麼堅強。好失敗。我不知道Nat 和 Js 的離開，會再次對我留下來的決定造成多大的打擊，唯有希望，我能學會更堅強地去面對。

幾乎所有真心的朋友，都要離開了。Ｋ也要離開了。我真的不知道我該怎麼辦。值得我留戀的，已經不多了。是時候離開了，對嗎？要去哪兒呢？

Funny Incident

Imagine, you are going out for a dinner with the CEO of your company and his wife. You brought your wife and your 3 years old daughter along. Your 3 years old daughter is in pre-school now and she is learning about manners.
During the dinner, your daughter told the CEO's wife, "You cannot talk while you have food in your mouth".
How would you react? That happened to my colleague.

Been busy lately. Lots of things going on. Surprisingly, met quite a few nice people. Life goes on. Will try to be flexible and change according to needs. Trying my best. Attitude changing needed. Life...

Grow Up

Just realized that going oversea to study, somehow means that you have to grow up, no matter you like it or not. Nice...
Am I that mature now? I don't think so. Well, at least I am more mature than the me five years ago.

Friends -- To Be or Not To Be?

Sometimes, some people cares too much about why others are trying to be their friend. Even though that other people's motive was very simple, i.e., to have a group of friends, or to blend in to their community, they felt offended and upset about it. Sigh..
When we grow up, we care too much about anything and everything around us. I understand that the world is complicated and people are not kind all the time, but we just have to believe in the best. Being smart and careful and being picky and negative is two different things. When we find out other people's motive, if it is as simple as that, we should just let it go and be their friends. He/She might turn out to be your best friend or someone you can lend a hand from when you needed it.
Maybe my point of view regarding this issue is very naive and can be consider stupid, but life can be easier and happier this way. Wish I could tell you this..
Some things are not meant to be spoken.

I really need to have a good night sleep. Damn...

知識令人覺得渺小

學得越多，才明白自己知道和會的是多麼地少。人，應永遠保持著不斷學習的心態，不應驕傲自負地看不起別人。學曆低或沒有文化的人，不代表他們身上沒有值得令你學習的東西。你可以從他們身上學到經驗、教訓、人生的哲學等等。
有高學曆的人，應該更懂得這個道理。所以，有越高學曆的人應該更謙虛。驕傲自負的人，最終是吃虧最大的那一個。

幸福。冬天。

捧著一杯冒著煙的熱 Chai 茶，坐在電腦前慢慢地品嘗， 好幸福噢！冬天，又來了。已忘了有多久沒好好地品嘗它了。每次煮這茶喝時，總覺得少了些什麼，漸漸地，就不再常弄來喝了。今天才發現，原來，少了的是那冷冷的天氣與獨處的那份平靜。幸福，其實就是那麼簡單。

冬天，歡迎你的到來！你也許會是我最後一個冬天咯！我會更加珍惜的！

今年，愛城決定不讓我們有秋天，天氣在幾天里從７０度下降成３０度！昨天，有些地區還飄雪呢！哎，愛城的天氣，真的比女人還要難預測！今早，忘了看溫度，就胡亂穿了幾件外套，結果。。。住了那麼多年，還是學不乖。

晚安，各位！明天又是新的一天。

了解

了解一個人，並不容易，但也不是件不可能的任務。
要了解一個人的生活習慣，是件蠻簡單的事。你只需要用心去觀察，多和他相處，你便能夠知道他的生活習慣。這些，只是時間上的問題。但，要了解一個人的思想，卻不是件那麼容易的事了。
細心觀察，固然必要，更重要的是，別以你個人主觀的想法去解讀他所說的話，這樣只會令你更不了解他。也別以你個人的看法與尺度去批判他的作為，應以客觀的態度，去觀察與解讀他背後的動機與目的，才能逐步了解他的思想。
有些人，可以天天相處，但卻永遠都無法明白對方。
有些人，可以幾年不相逢，但卻永遠都是最了解對方的人。
想要了解一個人，首先要學會的，該是如何放下主觀的態度，以客觀的心態去看待別的人與事吧。體諒的心，謙虛的態度，客觀的想法，與不批判的心態，是了解一個人必備的行為。
我，做到了嗎？

謝謝妳一直都那麼了解我。好久不見了，老友。突然很想和妳說說話。。

Happy Mid Autumn Festival!! 中秋節快樂!!

Found a varieties of mooncake on the website that day. Thought I would share with you guys.

Häagen-Dazs's Mooncake is widely sold in China now. It is an icre cream mooncake. Well, actually, Häagen-Dazs is owned my General Mills, yeah, that big cereal company who does not want to hire international student. Hehehe...But they are still considered nice people though, compare to Kraft.

Starbucks's mooncake is also sold in Asia country. Never got a chance to taste it! They said on the websites that some of them are tiramisu flavor. Wonder how it tastes like..

The Disney's mooncake, of course. Very cute and fancy..probably very costly too!

Aii..when I was little, where can you see all these Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Jumbo mooncakes wor? All we saw was the little pig mooncake that was placed in a red/yellow plastic net-like holder and tie with a string hanging on one of the stalls in the pasar, we call it "豬籠月餅". Isn't it cheaper and easier to raise a kid back then? Those tiny little pig only cost maybe, 1 ringgit? Or less? Wish I have a picture to show you here.

Even though it is kinda a cheap mooncake, I miss it so much right now. Still remember my second aunty used to buy one for each of us and sometimes she brings it to our house riding on her 70cc Honda cup. It was such a great memory. I think my big aunty used to buy it for me too when I went to her house and stayed for a few days. There were so much love in those mooncake. I always kept it until way passed the Mid Autumn Festival before I ate it. Sometimes, I will think about whether I want to eat it from the butt? Or bite off the pig head first? Now I know I will definitely bite off that pig head first!! Hehehe..

Still remember that was one year, my parents decided to make mooncake. Of course, they made those "冰皮" mooncake which doesn't require oven. I was so amazed back then by the skills my mum had. Wish I had taken some pictures back then. That was only a one time thing though, it never happened again. It ended up that we like the skin more than the fillings and we requested a mooncake without fillings, just that skin. Hehehe..Kids..

This year, I bought some mooncake for myself, my sister, and my brother. Of course, USPS is always charging me for delivering my LOOOVE to them.
Aii..dun they know that rules can be bend and love is the most amazing thing in this world??!! *singing* "Can you feel the love tonight..."Hehehe..
CL and I bought the round one, and I bought the other two and split it among my two siblings. Don't eat too much ah you both!!!! Sharing is good lar!! Later gain weight and blame me pulak!!
Still can't find Durian Mooncake here.. *sobs*
Oh..btw, Ames friends, East HyVee is selling Mooncake! Nice one indeed. Cheers!! Our Asian culture is penetrating!! Yohooo!!!

*singing* ....巨龍腳底下我成長，長成以後是龍的傳人....黑眼睛黑頭髮黃皮膚....永永遠遠是龍的傳人....*singing* (My dad must be very proud of me now)

中秋節快樂!!!
Happy Mid Autumn Festival Y'all!!

Iowa State Fair 2006

The long overdued Iowa State Fair posting. Finally..edited some pictures..and here is the Iowa State Fair posting.
Iowa State Fair is one of the biggest state fair in the nation. To me, is nothing special except...the FOOD!!!
We got there around 11 or 12pm a day before the fair ends. We were pretty lucky. There were two ladies standing near the ticket booth and they were selling the early bird ticket($6) for half the price of the entrance fee($10). Anyway..the money saved was invested into the food, of course.
We start our day by having our BRUNCH! MUAHAHAHAHA...Lots of food!!!!
Well, 6 gals, with no control on their diet...guess what "should" happen??

Walking around, buying food.
CL and Mb ate that huge turkey leg together..No worries..they are definitely straight. ^-^ Of course, they can't finish the turkey leg by themselves. Help are always kindly offered throughout the process.
KY and EC with the Strawberry Funnel Cake. They look good, but I still prefer the plain funnel cake with no topping except the icing sugar.

Clockwise: CL with Wings, KY with Corndog, SY with "Fried" ice cream (not the delicious Malaysian type).

Clockwise: Pam with Chicken on a Stick, EC with Gyros, Mb with Turkey Leg.

More food..Having Pig on a Stick after all those food. Hehehe.. Damn GOOD!!
CL modeling with the Caramel Apple..YUMMY!!

The fair:
We were trying on hats and playing around with the toys..
YEAH!!!! We all got a Cy tattoo on our cheek. CYCLONE SPIRITS!!!!!!! Go CYCLONE!!!
The watermelon were huge (114.2 lbs.)!! Wonder if they actually taste good? You know, with all the water and stuff, diluted out the sugar content in that watermelon.. Ok..stop the science here.

CL with the Strawberry Banana Smoothies..Emm..is just ok..I made it better...Hehehe..
EC with Llama, some animal that you wont see in Malaysia..They are very tame and gorgeous!! They are just so stunningly elegant when they are standing there quietly. They look like a gentleman or, a royal, a prince, maybe. At least that's how I felt when I look at them while they are standing there staring back at me. I suddenly find it hard to take my eyes off them. Am I in love??
KY was trying to take a picture..but..Of course we wont let her take it by herself! It is just so cruel to let her take a solo picture, isn't it? =P
The huge pumpkin (970 lbs!!) Unbelievable!!! I guess country with a higher obesity rate does have a lot of obese vegetables and fruits...Hehehe..Just Kidding..

Most unusual Vegetables (quite cute):

The Art Pieces made with Corn:

Art Pieces made with food (Clockwise): Gingerbread House, Mr. State Fair made with butter, Puppy made with beans, Spongebob made with beans and rice, and the famous Mr. Superman made with Butter..
Butter Superman..wonder how strong they are when it comes to rescue someone out from a fire..

We saw some supersized bull (3090 lbs.), huge boar (1199 lbs.), elk, horses and some other SUPERSIZED animals. Animals here are obese too..Isn't it inhumane to do that? Felt sorry for those animals. I felt sorry for the elk too. It was kept in such a closed container that its antlers were injured (can they?). Anyway, not much good pictures were taken. Too many people around the animals.
There are also art competition, flower competition, llama competition and things like that. They also have live concert featuring the band playing that song in Shrek, yeah, THAT song (I..don't remember the name..I am a believer?? Something like that). You have to buy tickets for those. They also have people performing acrobatic stunts too. I am just too lazy to put up all those pictures. Hehehe..

This ticket booth outside Beer Tent caught my attention. Guess when you are over 30 years old, you should look old enough, don't you? Sorry to those baby face people then..

Overall, my advice is, if you have never been to one, then you should go. If you had, then, unless you really like the food, which I do, if not, it is not really worth to go again.

THE Tree

In respond to EH's comment, the red thingy under the tree, is NOT a fire extinguisher. It is ME!!!
Sorry, sis! I can't help it when your eyesight is getting bad. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

***Edited 1.05am Oct 5th, 2006***
Look what she had done to my pic...

Part of The Journey..

Have been working on my blog these few days. Found out that blogger has some new features if you convert your blogger into blogger beta. These features are quite useful and make it more user friendly. Good job, blogger! Way to go!! Hope that they can make some password protected posting asap. (Can you hear me? Blogger??!!)

What have I been up to lately? Well, pretty much sitting in front of the computer everyday the minute after I woke up. Interesting, right? Ha..

I am enjoying this break very much, actually. At first, I felt kind of depress and nervous that I still can't get a job. But now, I am kind of accepting the fact that more patience is needed in this process. At the same time, I learned to enjoy this free time doing things that I like. I started to forget about the financial problem and just learn to savor this moment.

Honestly, since I started school while I was, err..4, I haven't got a chance to stop like this and think about what I truly want and what is important to me. You may say that, well, you got those holidays and what did you know about life when you were little anyway? Yeah, you are right. I enjoyed playing a lot when I was little. But since I grew up, all my holidays were occupied with curricular activities, hanging out with friends, learning piano, ballet, art, Chinese calligraphy, tuitions, and all those sort of things. When I finished SPM, the next thing I did was going to college. Few weeks after college, I am here. After my B.S. graduation, I started my M.S. There was never a time that I allow myself to stop, and think. I should've stopped after my B.S. for a semester. It's too late to talk about this now, isn't it?

Well, I am glad that I have this break. I may look like a useless person who sits at home everyday and did nothing productive, but I am enjoying my life and is quite happy about that. Life is a very long journey ahead of me, what's the hurry, right? Very glad that I do not have a very heavy family burden to carry like some of my friends do. I am a lucky gal..

Still on the process of categorizing my 200++ posts. Bear with me at the mean time. =)

CHOCOLATE!!!

I am in love!!!
GORGEOUS!!! DAMN!!
Wish I hadn't renewed my contract!
Wish I did not have Verizon!
Wish..I have a CHOCOLATE!!!!!
*wishful thinking*
Money Money Money..Please fall off from the sky!!! Or..
Chocolate Chocolate..Please fall off from the sky!!!
Mr. Santa, I know that Christmas is near, will you please bring me a Chocolate? I don't mean the chocolate that you can eat, I mean the LG VX8500 Chocolate Phone. Please..bring me one with CDMA....I have been a good gal this year..

Sex Education and Malaysia

It is sad that Malaysia is such a conservative country. It is not a bad thing to be conservative but when people are not acting as conservative as they used to be, then the government should start doing something to minimize the troubles those not-so-conservative people can get themselves into.
I am talking about sex education here.

You can argue with me that we are not conservative. But from Kenny Sia's blog, you can tell that even a male to male conversation, the doctor can't even say the word Erectile Dysfunction. What's so embarassing about saying that word? He is a doctor and it is a scientific term! Besides, he is not saying it to the opposite gender! I wonder what he would say or do if he is saying this to a female!

Most of my friends from Malaysia, doesn't even know what STD stands for, not to mention the problem and damages that STD could cause them and the ways they could contract STD! It is such a taboo to even talk about all these things among friends, especially with the presence of both gender in the conversation. But with the increasing number of sexually active teenagers who always thought that they are invincible, this is a damn important knowledge!

In the high school/secondary school, we only learn about how babies are made, scientifically. That's all we learned. They never gave us sex education and tell us about the consequences of our action. They never told us that it is not okay to not use protection. They never told us that counting your period definitely wont guarantee you from being knock up by some guy or knock up some gal. They of course, will not tell you that condom doesn't protect you from STD, especially female!

As the results, more early marriages, more dysfunctional family, higher divorce rate, and the worst come to worst, more untreated STD individual walking around the city and spreading them.
In my high school year, I got a few schoolmates, who had to quit school because they are pregnant! They were 16 or 17 at that time! Ways to ruin your life, my dear!
It is so sad that the conservative society had caused so many unneccessary troubles and ruined so many lifes, especially those newborns who are innocent!

Another thing with the conservative society is that people are not comfortable to go to the stores to buy condoms or pills, especially the pills. Condoms, are easy. You run into 7-11, simply grab one, throw some cash on the counter, and run out. I guess that should be easy enough for most guy. As for the pills, no. You need doctor's prescription for pills. If you go to the pharmacy in your town, it might eventually become a news to everyone that "Oh, that someone's daughter is sexually active! What a shame!"

My Polish friend, a woman with a daughter 2 years younger than me, she brought her daughter to the doctor when she was 19 years old and has a boyfriend. She told the daughter about using protection, STD, and bring her to the doctor to get prescription for pills. Even though she would not like her daughter to be sexually active, she chosed to be up and open so that her daughter doesn't have to hide it, and have enough knowledge to protect herself. That's what Malaysian should do!

It is so sad that in Malaysia, talking about sex makes you a slut, especially for female. I really do enjoy the life here, where I can be myself and not have to worry so much about all these gender bias topics that I should avoid speaking, making fun of, or even voice my opinion. I am glad that I have the chance to open up my mind, live my life, and be myself without letting the judgement from the society hold me back. These 5 years really meant a lot to me. I am really glad that I have made the best out of them. If I have to go back to Malaysia this December, I think I will gladly accept it.

Finally, something to share with you all.
Here's the funny story about an embarassing incident encountered by my friend:
In my university's student health center, they give free condoms to the students. (They even have it wrapped nicely like a lollipop for Valentine's day)They put those colorful condoms in a basket, and you can grab as many as you want. They are packed into a long oval shape instead of the regular round shape.
There is this Indian student, unmarried, who came from a conservative society, of course, and probably never seen a condom in his life, yet. He was waiting for his medicine near the pharmacy counter and he was looking at those condoms, wondering what they are. The nurse(female) thought that he would like to take it but he is just being shy, so, she told him, "You can take as many as you want." He then asked the nurse, "Which color do you like?" The nurse was puzzled by his question, and later on, he only found out that they are condoms! They thought that they are candy!

Here are some links that you can go to read about STD
STD from CDC
I Wanna Know
Also, just a reminder to females, you are advised to do a PAP test if you are sexually active, or over 20 years old. Here's the information link.

對你有感覺 - 光良 & 江美琪

My favorite new song with my favorite singers..It is too hard to sing though. Damn!! Why am I not gifted with nice voice like her??!! *sobs*..

祝福你們。。

今天，知道了一件蠻令人感嘆的事。可能目前為止，只有我知道吧。希望，他們都能找到屬於自己的幸福。畢竟，他們都是我喜歡與關心的朋友。
希望這一切，是好的開始吧！祝福你們！願你們快樂！

覺悟

有時，一件發生在你討厭的人身上的事，你會覺得，活該！但，同樣的事，發生在你關心的人身上時，心里卻不那麼好受了。
開始覺得自己很過份，再討厭那個人，也不該覺得活該吧！
人，應時時以一種對事，不對人的態度，來感受別人的喜怒哀樂。不該因為那個人非常令人討厭而覺得發生在他身上的事是應該的。

Cellnique Pro Sebum Gel -- Is it safe?

Saw the advertisement of this product on Xiaxue's blog (picture taken from her blog as well). Everything sounded really great and wonderful. It seems like you are going to get a baby-like skin after 2 weeks of using the product. However, I am not fully convinced with the safety of this product.

First of all, is a product of Malaysia.
As we all known, a very common knowledge, Malaysia is a place where you can reach all your goals and have all your dreams come true easily. You just need to do some signing, wiring, transferring.. from one bank account to another..and..everything is possible!! It is not that hard, isn't it? As long as you have enough $$. One can get away with murders and one can get away with death penalty, whatelse is impossible?

Secondly, the name of the brand is Cellnique.
Why?? Why name it Cellnique?? I know we have a well-known cosmetic product line named Clinique, so, WHY?? I hated it when people are trying to fight their rival by using a name that is slightly different. It is fine if they are just selling small things like cookies, detergents, sodas and stuff like that (It is very common in the US for those company to do that). But this is a high end cosmetic products, not those cheap cosmetic products you got it from pasar malam! Why can't you come up with your own name?

Thirdly, the product is pretty new on the market.
Even in the US, there are recalls for new products. I have been here for 5 years and have some basic knowledge about all the cosmetics, drugs and foods regulation in the US. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have a pretty strict regulations on these products. Even so, some drugs, dietary supplements, foods and cosmetic products were being recalled after a few months or years they were on the market. In terms of laws and regulations, they have so much less corruptions compared to Malaysia. Their government also act so much faster than those Malaysian government who most of the time scratches their ass and do nothing all day.

Seriously. When you have an emergency, for instance, robbery or some danger-related emergency, don't even think about seeing the shadow nor hearing the sirens of the police car in the first 30 minutes after you call 999 (i.e. 911 in the US). They are not paid to ensure your safety, they are paid to ensure that they get enough Kopi-money and salary for their household. Nice, isn't it? Feel safe to go back to Malaysia? Absolutely!!

Back to the topic.
One thing that I felt relieve about is that they are able to sell it in the Singapore market. Singapore is not as corrupted as Malaysia.. so..maybe..you can give it a shot. Anyway, I am still very skeptic about the fabulousness and safety of this product. If you want to try it, you can go ahead. As for me, I will probably wait around and see what's going on next. If they are able to sell it in the US market, then, I might give it a shot.

放棄與堅持，都需要很大的勇氣。有放棄的勇氣，也代表著有堅持下去的毅力嗎？放棄，會比較容易嗎？但，未來呢？會後悔嗎？還是堅持下去比較無悔？如果堅持下去，到最後，還是一場空的話，自信心是否會受到打擊呢？會否情願從不曾堅持過？得與失之間，如何取捨？
我自認是個蠻幸運的女孩，很多事情都很順力地渡過。但到現在，還是對這個問題找不到答案。好懊惱。還是很感激身邊一直支持我的家人與朋友。無論我做的是什麼決定，只要我不後悔，你們都不會反對。

今 天，看了那大家強力推荐的韓劇，《宮》，覺得還可以而已。沒有他們說的那麼好看。相較起來，覺得《王子變青蛙》比較有趣。《宮》里的那些皇後啦，太後娘娘 啦，蠻囉唆的，看得我都失去了耐性，一看見她們出場，我就不停地往前打，不想聽她們說一堆無聊的廢話。特別是那太皇太後，簡直是個白痴般，有夠煩的。那王 子也真是的，喜歡的話，就明明白白地說出來嘛，婆婆媽媽拖拖拉拉地，像什麼男人嘛。。整套劇，感覺好慢，好冗長，沒完沒了地，有點悶。看了前面兩集，我干 脆上網，Google了劇情，讀完了，再決定哪些想看，哪些就不看了。而且，劇里的男主角，都不是很帥，打扮又有點陰陽怪氣，看了都有點。。。
也 許，是我老了吧，不再相信那些灰姑娘的愛情故事了，更不相信白馬王子是真的存在的。我其實也在懷疑著，愛一個人的期限。在美國，５０﹪的婚姻的收場都 是離婚。那，沒離婚的那些，有多少﹪是不曾出軌的呢？有多少﹪還是愛著對方的？有多少﹪又是真正的幸福的？看了《男人之苦》和《女人唔易做》後，對婚姻更 為悲觀。但，這兩套劇卻教會了我，單身，也可以是很快樂的。如果，和另一個人在一起，不但不會為你帶來快樂，反而令你困惑與停滯不前，徘徊于自由與拘束之 間，那，不如單身來得輕松。
希望所有單身的朋友，都能學會享受此刻，不要因為寂寞和別人的流言蜚語，而隨意地選了個爛攤來談場折磨自己的戀愛，更別愚蠢地結了婚。屆時，恐怕後悔莫及呢！

失眠

失眠。我怎麼了？還有兩個小時可以睡。慘了！救命啊！！！

小小的願望，大大的期待。

到了最後的最後，我只希望一切都能如願。希望，幸運之神能與我同行這一回。于今，唯一的願望。我要的不多，只想開始我的人生。所以，這一次，就這麼一次，請讓我如願！

感謝 Dr.Bo 和 Dr.Be 的幫助與為我設想了那麼多。真的是我的福氣，能認識你們與幫你們打工。

Prayer for Anna..

Update: Sept 5th, 2006.

Received the news this morning that Anna passed away. May she rest in peace.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Received a very bad news two days ago. Anna, a very great friend of ours, suffered from brain aneurysm. Surgery was performed but it didn't help. According to her will, they have to remove the life support and put her into hospice till her time comes. It was shocking and saddening to hear this news. I was stoned when I heard this news from J, tears were running down my cheek before I could stop them.
Anna had been a great friend to me since I know her. She is helpful, caring, friendly, and easy to talk to. I always stopped by her office and talked to her when I am free or whenever I have problems with my computer or with my boss. She always gave me good advice and even offered to teach me the technical skills that I wanted to learn. Whenever I have problems, she will listen to me, give me advice and comfort me. I still remember after my thesis defend, I went to talk to her while I was waiting for my result. I was so nervous and she talked to me to calm me down and gave me courage to believe that I will pass. When I have my seminar, she videotaped it for me for free and even burned them into two different dvd format so that I can watch it with DVD and also with my computer. She is part of the family I have in the department.
I don't know if prayers would help, but it doesn't hurt to try. Do you believe in miracles? I don't. But I wish for miracle this time.

邊吃著午餐，邊思考著，其實，這樣忙忙碌碌的生活還是蠻不錯的。雖然，忙得連午餐都沒定時吃，但，總好過坐在家里搖腳，無聊得會發瘋。只可惜，這不是我的正業。哈！我這樣不算是不務正業吧？
哎。。快給我一份工啦！

夢

所有的問題，在夢境中，都有了答案。開心的，傷心的，都解答了。這，意味著些甚麼呢？
不想想了。去學校。

這幾天，忙得快要喘不過氣來了。教授有了份 Project，很信任地把一切交給我做。做研究，對我來說，是件蠻簡單的事，但，也是件蠻耗時的事。每天都不停地在忙，忙得連找工的時間都沒了。幾天前，還忙到了將近八點才回到家。因為她的信任，我不得不努力做好它。因為我的拼命，卻忙得快累垮了，沒時間找工。因為沒有找工，我焦躁得失眠了。連續幾天的失眠，搞得我脾氣都躁了。值得嗎？
算了，做完了這個 Project，就告訴她我不想做了。這樣，我才能專心地找工。
被人信任，固然是件好事，但，相對地，也是種壓力吧。

老 K 發騷

哈哈。。昨天在裹粽子的時候，錄了一段老K發騷的片段，還蠻搞笑的。不好意思，為了個人隱私的關係，只公開給朋友看而已。想看的話，就到 YouTube 開個戶口，然後留你的用戶名字在留言版給我吧。

Interview I: Jobless Life...

Still..Looking..Waiting..Looking..Waiting..for a job.

How's the jobless life thus far?
-Pretty BORING!

So, what did you do everyday?
-Wake up (of course)
-Thinking of getting a job (of course)
-Sit in front of the computer
-Chatting
-Browsing for job
-Applying
-Keep browsing
-Eat
-Watch movie
-Sleep..

What have you accomplished then?
-Emm..More "Need To Watch" movie cross off my list..so, I guess, that is an accomplishment too..
-I figured that I really don't want to go back to M'sia..that..could consider an accomplishment too...(I think)

What's your next plan?
-Get a JOB!!!

What if you don't get a job?
-..............................(don't want to think about that yet)

If you have to go back to M'sia, what are the things you want to do before going back?
-Clubbing, Clubbing, Clubbing..and..Clubbing..
-Travelling..Boston(again) and NYC
-Ballroom Dancing..

**Now..I started talking to myself.

The Family Stone

Cheryll recommended The Family Stone and CL and I watched it last night. It is a great movie. This movie is particularly interesting because the character of each family member were very different. They have a gay and deaf son, who is dating an African American guy, a laid back observant son, a spoiled youngest daughter and all those sort of different character. It describes how most family are. Not all of us are similar, not even if we are raised in the same family. We are different in one way or another no matter what. That's what makes us unique. If you are a SJP supporter, you probably will feel disappointed because her character was not lovely. I won't go too deep into the details but there are some things that I really need to get it off my chest after watching this movie.

**Movie Spoiler Alert**
The part that I don't like, and don't think is realistic at all, is the ending. Till now, I still don't think, and can't accept the fact that the brother, Everett, who planned to marry the older sister, Meredith, ended up dating the younger sister, Julie. And the older sister, Meredith, ended up dating the younger brother, Ben. It is unacceptable for one person to date his/her best fren's ex, not to mention their siblings! It is just not realistic at all! The worst part is, all these happened in 2 days! C'mon, be REAL!

Overall, I still like this movie especially the part where the big kids were chasing around the house and fighting with each other. It just reminded me of me and my siblings.

What would you do?

I was at my friend's house waiting for her to get ready and go out. Her roommate's parents were there as well. As usual, we would call our friend's parents uncle and aunty. So, I did. This friend of mine, she is very blur and sometimes act like aunty. We gave her a nickname, aunty. So...
I was waiting..waiting..waiting..at the door. The real aunty was in the kitchen next to the door. I became quite impatient and was planning to ask my friend to act faster. So, I yelled, "Aunty!"...Before I continue saying what I planned to say, the real aunty who was next to me answered me, "Yes?".
In this case, what would you do?
A) Pretend that you were planning to talk to that real aunty and start up a conversation after rudely yelled at her.
B) Explain that you were calling your friend aunty, not her, which, might put her in an embarrassing situation.

I, obviously opted for option A and started making up things to talk to her...My friend was trying so hard not to laugh.

Since you been gone..

To the memories of my lovely, worryless student life.

Since you been gone, I look like a lost soul in a no-man land.
Since you been gone, I started losing my self confident bit by bit.
Since you been gone, I am known as "the person with the most free time".
Since you been gone, I am being categorized into the jobless category.
Since you been gone, I know that I should really move on, as soon as I could.
Since you been gone, I know that job searching is not an easy task.
Since you been gone, I have to look at my bank account tightly.
Since you been gone, I have to really watch where my money goes.
Since you been gone, I understand that my visa status is a huge problem.
Since you been gone, I understand that life is not as easy as it seems.
Since you been gone, I learned that I have been very lucky for the past 23 years.
Since you been gone, I realized that life is meaningless when dreams seems unreachable.
Since you been gone, my life is pretty much very screw up and boring!

累

好累哦。。好久沒有那麼累了。。
現在終於明白為何我老豆要我努力讀書了。勞力的工，真的很吃不消。從早上九點開始，不停地忙，連早餐都沒吃完，午 餐更不用說會有時間吃了。忙完了工，一回來，就開始忙著搬家。三樓的公寓，上上下下地跑了將近十回，還是沒搬完。晚餐也沒時間吃了。忙到十一點半，才終於 可以歇息。還沒搬完呢！明早又得再搬。到頭來，今天，只吃了一個餅乾，一杯咖啡，和半杯汽水。好像在減肥般。
好慶幸，我有聽老豆的話。

Back.....

After all the transferring, planning, thinking, modifying, changing, remodifying, uploading, downloading, installing...bla bla bla...I gave up!!
I tried to move my blog to wordpress. Unfortunately, it did not go as well as I thought it would be. The whole blog transferring was pretty cool. But, some features in wordpress are just disappointing. I wasn't able to upload my pictures and host on their server, I wasn't able to change the template to my own preference and the whole time stamp thing is just inconvenient! Wordpress is for sure better than blogger in some sense. I can even transfer the comment people make in my blogger to the wordpress blog compare to blogger where when you change the template, all the comments are gone. Anyhow...I am back to blogger again because I am too lazy and have no financial support to do my own hosting on wordpress. I will do it someday...when I get a job, maybe.
Heard that the H1-b quota for the MS degree is filling up too. So, here I am, screwing up again. Damn!!!! How am I going to get a job if no one is giving me the opportunity to gain the experience in the first place?!?! Really pissy now. Seriously, don't know what to do. I am definitely not ready to go back to my home country yet. Maybe, I will go for a PhD or something. Maybe..

Planning..Moving..Thinking..

Still deciding if I want to keep blogging, or just keep an unannounced blog. Disabled the archive, moving to a new space, and thinking if I want to announce it.
Thanks, JC, wordpress seemed like a good choice. Still learning the whole new function thing. Some functions are quite disappointing.

Crazy Things..

After CL found out that I am updating my blog, she forced me to write these two incidents into my blog:

1st incident: What A Coincident!
Yesterday, after lunch in Thai Kitchen, CL and I went separate ways because we have some errands to run. I finished my errands and was walking back to the building. While I passed by MU, I decided to go into the UBS to get a retirement card for a friend, Cynthia, who is having a small retirement party that afternoon. I went in, looked around, picked up a card and then I walked around UBS, checking on graduation gown (not that I plan to attend my commencement), checked on the protective gear for my ipod nano, and then I decided not to spend money. I went to pay for the retirement card and left. I didn't bring my cellphone along. When I got back to the office, CL called me 7 minutes ago. I called her back and she told me that she got a gift for Cynthia. I was wishing that she didn't get a card but she did. I thought that, ok, we just have to give her 2 cards then. Suddenly, it came to my mind that maybe..we might have bought the same card..and..WE DID!!!
We missed each other by 7 minutes in the bookstore but we did the same thing!!

Incident 2: Car Washing
After looking at a very very very awful apartment today, we decided to go and get my car wash. Due to my laziness..we opt for the automatic car wash. After the whole process of washing and spraying..we come to the step of drying. There were two fans there blowing at my car to get the car dry. CL asked me to drive slower so that we can completely dry the car before we drive out from the machine. So, I drove slowly and stopped there to let the fan blow dry my car. We decided to move only after the water drops on my windshield were gone. After 5 minutes...the fan were shut off. I have only dried 1/3 of my car!!! We stared at each other...and started laughing. *Speechless*

Things like that just happened around us all the time. We are always that blur..

I am living an uncivilized life!!!

Internet connection in my apartment is completely...GONE!! Great. No internet, no entertainment, no job hunting, no blogging, no online novel reading, no chatting, no nothing -----> NO LIFE!!!
down Down DOwn DOWn DOWN!!!
Nevermind. I will be in CL's house all the time now. I have to use CL's laptop from now on. I tried using my laptop, but for some reason, my wireless just can't connect to the wireless internet here. Don't really know why. Anyway, not that bad...yet. I left my cellphone at CL's place last nite, and my car keys, and CL's apartment key. Glad that they were at home when I came over this morning. If not, I really don't know how to get ahold of anyone since cellphone and internet is the only two way that I connect with the civilized world out there.

I got frustrated with my short hair yesterday. It was so messy and unmanageable. They were flying all over the place. Finally..I learned to put them up. I guess this is a good chance for me to learn how to style with short hair. Long hair is so much easier because you can just let them down or put them up when they are messy. For short hair, it is kinda hard. It was too short to be put up. Now..I finally figure out a way to do it. No wonder I have been hesitated to cut my hair for such a long time.
Picture taken with CL's webcam after I put my hair up..

We are having a cookout this weekend. Making satay, soup, gizzard, salad..planning to cook some porridge and possibly make some sushi tomorrow. Challenging and testing our skills. Putting on weight..putting on weight..In a happy way.
:)

Everyone have been very very helpful in helping me getting a job lately. The associate department chair, Dr. R, sent out a job opening for me and CL, and the department chair, Dr. MacD, also sent me a contact for a job as well. Unfortunately, they don't hire international. But all their help and efforts, really push me to really have to get a job asap..so that I wont let them down. I am blessed.

待人以寬，律己以嚴！

切記，切記。
紀律！紀律！
好懶。

A DARE

SuMmEr TiMe = ShOrT HaIr TiMe
Ha...How I miss having short hair..
Still, Iowa don't have any good salon for hair cut. Gotta cut it myself again.
Actually, I want to cut it shorter. But the hairdresser was too..scare to cut it for me. I want to have a boy cut, she doesn't really feel confident doing it for me. She thinks that the change will be too dramatic since my hair was almost waist length. Hahaha.. So, ended up, still quite long.

SHIT!!!!!

I F-Up!!! What a dumb, careless, evitable stupid mistake!!!! DAMN!!!! That's the result of lack of sleep. Can't I be more concentrate? Can't I pay more attention to what I am doing? Can't I be more serious with my damn life?! That's what I have been lacking in my entire life, being SERIOUS. I am so pissed at myself. Serious doesn't appear in my dictionary that often. All the serious thing can turn into a joke to me. I cannot be serious. Damn!! I am digging a hole for myself.

Anyone need a Chinese tutor for their kids? Or a tutor for simple mathematic? Or a babysitter? Especially people from the west coast (especially CA and WA state). Wont charge you for tuition or anything. As long as you give me a place to stay till I get a job. Getting desperate now. My life seems to be stuck on the same spot since this May.

My B'day Gift!!!

A LOoong overdue post. Too busy and too lazy to take the pictures. That's why it took me so long. Guess what I got for my birthday this year from all my dear friends? Hehehehehehe...A 4gb IPOD NANO!!!!!!!!
My favorite song..Hehehe..

With my name engraved on the back. coOL, Huh? (The blurred part is my name) Too bad that they can't engrave their initials on it too..Can't believe they really bought me an Ipod. Sigh..guys, don't spend so much money again, alright? It is a wonderful gift. It is not because of the price of the gift that counts, is the thought behind it that makes it a wonderful gift.

The bday card is also one of the best I have ever got thus far.

It is not the size of the card, it is not the price of the card, it is not the length of the card, it is...the number of people signed this card that makes it so special. The numerous greetings that I got from this card makes it so special. Unfortunately, Nat is not around to sign the card. I got a great card from her too..hehehe..

For privacy purpose, the resolution of this picture is extremely low. You can still try your best to read the writings on the card..if you are really that "curious"/nosy. Have fun ruining your eye sight. *winked*

BACK!!

Back from Florida!!!!
Yohoooo!!! We saw Alton Brown!! He was the speaker for the opening ceremony. The speech was incredible! He gave me a whole new perspective on how to deliver the scientific knowledge of food science to the public. Great ideas!! No wonder he is so popular. People waited for hoursss just to have their book signed. Crazy, huh? Of course, I am not one of those people.
The best part of the trip is, the food: Lobster Feast, Wolfgang Puck, lunch buffet, Bahama Breeze and, of course, Cocktails!!! Everything is paid for. I still don't find lobster tasty. The texture of the meat is too hard and quite tasteless compare to crab meat or shrimp. The dinner in Wolfgang Puck is very very delicious! I had my best cheesecake ever in the lunch buffet. I didn't spend more than 50 bucks on this trip!!
Our team, ISU, won 2nd place on the College Bowl Competition. UCDavis is stronger than us. Anyway, our department chair bought us drink that night. Alcoholic, or non-alcoholic..hehehe..
Another best thing is, met some old friends that I haven't seen for years. We had a great time. Hope to see you guys again next year.
I really needed this vacation. Time well spent.

My professor, Dr. B, Me, and Dr. P, in front of my poster.

Aren't we cute? Hehehe..

JOB
FUTURE
FOCUS!!

蛟龍？池中物？

蛟龍終非池中物。
我是蛟龍嗎？還是池中物？
這是一個選擇題嗎？還是一個一直以來已有了答案的問題而已？
如果我注定了不是池中物，得到了雲雨，是否真的會變成蛟龍？
如果我是蛟龍，但卻得不到雲雨，是否永遠只會是一只池中物？
是命運？還是選擇？

偶而地感歎。。

有些時候，有些朋友，就像小孩一樣。唯有以對待小孩的心態來對待他們，才不會那麼容易起沖突。包容和忍讓，是必然的。但這些包容和忍讓，卻不是常常應用的，只有我真心想交的朋友，我才會表現和發揮這份耐性。

三 位結了好幾十年婚的女性朋友，在一次閒聊中，一致地認同說，愛情，到了最後，最重要的只是忠貞。所有的激情和浪漫，到了最後，都已不怎麼重要了。她們說， 婚姻之所以會長久，是在於大家一起經歷過的人與事，和當中的互相扶持與鼓勵。當初，是那份愛與浪漫讓她們步入婚姻，但，是之後所經歷的一切，維持了那段婚 姻。其中兩位朋友都認為她們太早步入了婚姻，也都一致地認為她們本身也很幸運，嫁給了對的人。每個給我的忠告是：好好地享受我的人生，盡力和盡量地去實現 我的夢想，好好和小心地選擇終生伴侶，別讓社會的壓力改變我的人生。

真的，還不想回國。每次回去，都很不想回來。但，上一次回去，卻沒有 那麼強烈的不想回來的念頭了。開始習慣了這里的一切了吧。回去，反而覺得不適應，也不習慣。況且，好多老朋友，都個自有了屬於自己的生活，回去後，反而覺 得我不屬於那兒。很難融入。有人曾說，與其在一個熟悉的地方，和熟悉的人在一起仍然感受寂寞，不如到一個陌生沒人認識的地方，自己感受那一份寂寞，感覺還 不會那麼吊詭。習慣了寂寞和一個人，我會更不想離開吧。Volo 說得對，如果我再多待幾年，也許永遠都不會想回了。
該怎辦？

室友就要回來了，真鬱悶。還是好享受一個人住的日子。希望她別把她丈夫也帶回來吧！

24th..

My 24th B'day...how did it go?

The night before, KY lost her "virginity"to me!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Aiyo, what were you thinking? She lost her "virginity" in baking cake to me-lah!! This is her first cake. Very successfull, gal!! Way to go!

Poor Marco, the cake carrier. See, how badly they were trying to remind me how old I am.

Cutting the ice-cream cake from KY!!! Very very tasty indeed. Good job, gal!! Thanks for making me "THE" ice-cream cake.

The next day, Cheryll brought a cake for me. People from the department celebrated with me, again! I felt so spoiled..

Very tasty. Marbel cake from Dutch Oven bakery. Haven't have my name written on a cake since...don't know when.

Thanks to everyone..My boss put the candles on. Remind me again, I am 24, or 42 some said. No good pictures were taken cause those pictures were took with my cellphone.

The evening, was the so-called Hickory Park dinner. CL, too bad, I really know you too well. Too hard for you to surprise me now. I am just playing dumb to not waste the efforts you guys put into. Hehehe..

BIG BIG BIG THANKS to all my friends. Sorry to have you guys went through so much troubles. Next time, I will just invite everyone so that you guys don't have to do all the preparations and hidings. It is a great birthday, I would say. Never expected such a great and wonderful celebration. Everything was very perfect, except for the stupid act of mine.
Thanks again, everyone. For showing up, for helping out, for tolerating me, for forgiveness, for acceptance, for EVERYTHING.

That's the water-gun that causes my stupid acts..
To those who called or greeted me from far far away in any ways, thanks for remembering.
I love you guys..

Fell from rollerblading. Elbow was bleeding, butt was swollen, gonna turn black-green tomorrow. Next time, will wear the elbow protection too. Haven't fall for a long time. Haven't had this kind of bleeding experience for quite some time.

I need to master the skill of "THINK, before you ACT". Did some very outrageous thing today. Still felt really bad about it. There were no excuses for my act. Very very sorry, CL and Js. Still love you guys, hope you guys still love me despite of my outrageous act and words today. I understand that kept saying sorry is not going to help, trying to change and not doing it again is a better solution. That's my goal this year.

Have A Good Laugh..

We were so bored today and started playing around with CL's new computer. The new MacBook has iSight with it. These are the pictures that we took with her computer. We were having so much fun playing with it and took some really weird and funny pictures.
Here are some to share with you guys. Enjoy and have a good laugh!

The alien effect. Hehehehe... Am I pretty or what?

Me, and myself. We are good buddies. :P

I love myself...just waaayyyy too much!!

The ring....SHE IS BACK!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ring Ring!! Don't answer your phone...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
But please do answer mine when I call you.

Me....The most normal picture.

Four-Leaves-Clover

Did I mention that I found 3 four-leaves-clover yesterday? I wasn't really looking for them cause I tried it before and have no luck at all! I gave up trying long time ago.
Yesterday, I was walking out of my apartment and I saw 1 of them. I thought it was just a mistake, so, I turned back and it is really a four-leaves-clover! Beside that one, there are another 2 of them. One of them has a worm in one of the leaves, so, I throw it away. The other 2, I put them in between my Biochemistry textbook now. Hehe..What a nice place to store them! Hmm..unbelievable!! I guess things just happened when you least expected them, just like love. *wink*
Hope the legend about four-leaves-clover is true...

Ciao...Ile

I used to want to be the one leaving everyone behind and go somewhere. I think it is cooler that way and easier that way. But now, I think I wanted to be the one staying, or the one sending people off. That way, by the time I choose to leave, there are less people holding me back.

Saying good bye to Ile today. Take care, my dear friend.
Te voy a extrañar y amiga para siempre!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my dearest friends, Mei and Sam.
Let me know ahead of time when the event is going to take place so that I can plan to attend.

Happy B'day to My Dearest Bro..

Dearest Bro,
Your birthday was May 15th. Forgot to publicly wish you Happy 19th Birthday. Need to do that so that you wont hate me and also to remind you that you are getting older. GROW UP!!!
I hope that by turning older, your psychological age will get a little bit more mature. With that say, YOU BETTER STUDY HARDER!!!
Ok, Happy Belated Birthday!! Hehehehe...All the best..and Love you always..

From your lovely second sister. Muahahahahaha.....

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MADE IT!!!!! I FXXKING MADE IT!!!!!!!!!
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, I LOVE you, I LOVE YOU!!!! How I missed that...
I GOT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*jumping* *dancing* *laughing* *giggling*

Speechlesssss

4 days before my defend, I came down with a flu/cold, sore throat, cough, runny nose and fever. GREAT!! Now I completely lost my voice. Can barely speak. Life is just so woooonnddeeerrffuullll!!!!!
Lesson learned, Stay Away From Your Biohazard Friends!!
I am now seriously, deadly, speechless.

抓狂了!!!!

我快要瘋了啦!!!!很想死呀!!!!
已經連續地趕了, 還是好像永遠都做不完似的!!! 昨晚都忙到凌晨五點了, 還是趕不完, 快要被逼瘋了啦!!! 還要我回實驗室做一些實驗加入我的論文, 星期四就得趕好的論文, 好想死啊!!!!!!!
這就是放縱自己大玩了一個週末的後果!!!
啊!!!!!! 難怪人家都說, 研究生大都沒有屬於自己的生活, 每天都只能與實驗室為仵!!
#$$#^%&J^&(&*%#@%$#^%*&)(*)@$##@%!@#$

Ignorant

B and I was talking about Geisha that day while we were walking back from Largomarcino coffee house. Then, we went into the topic about the money Sayuri got from selling her first night. B thought that Yen is the currency for China, so, I was trying to explain to B about Yen and Renminbi. Then, a girl walked up from behind. She turned back, laughing and said that, "Isn't it funny about all these international things? They are all Asia" Then she giggled, and walked away. Well, just so you know, ignorant dumbass, you are laughing at yourself. We are not laughing with you.

A peacemaker like me, of course, wouldn't stop her and argue with her. No point to do that indeed. You want to be an ignorant like the rest of the Americans, go ahead. Be my guest. Most of you guys are "Katak Di Bawah Temperung" to me anyway.

Maybe, I should have stopped her and tell her, "How do you like it if I call you a German Nazi? You are all Caucasian anyway, rite? Dumbass!" Or maybe I should just tell her, "How do you like it if I pay you in Colones (Costa Rica currency) instead of dollar?" Hmm...it would be interesting to look at her facial expression after that...

Peace out.

Ought To Be..

I finished watching Mai HiME yesterday with KY. Yeah yeah yeah..I know, I know..I should write my thesis instead of watching anime. Anyway, that's not the main point here.

The anime was not bad. The ideas are very intesresting even though at the end, they didn't explain a lot of things. You have to use your imagination to explain why those things happened. I think what the creator was trying to express through the anime is that, we have so many things in our life that at times, we don't even know what is the thing that we value the most. Many people and things around us, we always thought that it is suppose to be like that and it ought to be like that, but most of the time, it is not.
You always thought that your friends, your family and people that you love are ought to be there for you. You see them everyday, you talk to them everyday, you do things with them everyday, you get used to having them around and you forget that they are the most valuable things to you. Sooner or later, you forget that you need to treasure them. You take them for granted. Till one day, they passed away, or you lose them, then only you realized that a lot of things and people, are not ought to be there. You have to learn to treasure them while you still have them.

沒有一件事，或一個人的存在，是理所當然的。

Anyway..I might have read too much into an anime. It is just an anime. Get back to my thesis.

Oh..btw..
Happy Birthday to KY!!! 21 years old loh...Be a good gal.

Lesson learned..

Too Full!! TOO FULL!!! Little Taipei..followed with a cup of banana pie blizzard..Urgh..It's been hours...and I am still very very FULL!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more DQ..

謝謝你們！

把演講這個難題解決了。接下來，就只剩下論文和答辯。儘量把它在下星期前趕完吧！教授們，似乎很喜歡我的演講。每個人都告訴我，我做得不錯。我認為呢。。 還好吧！這一次，真的沒那麼緊張了。有改進了。很謝謝那些給予我祝福和支持的朋友，更謝謝那些到場來聽我演講的朋友。這些年，若是沒你們，日子真的會很不 好過。由於技術上的問題，導致我無法一一向你們致謝，只好借這篇佈羅格向大家致謝。真的，真的，很感謝你們！
在前往演講堂的方向走著的時候，腦中不停地回想這幾年來所結交的朋友。終於，致電給颯和Miki，聊了一會兒。人長大了，也漸漸發現和學會了朋友的重要和可貴。好好珍惜你身邊的朋友吧！
漸漸地看見了一絲自由的署光，心情也較好了。
加油吧！雨過，就會天晴了。彩虹，就在不遠的天邊。

我覺得，你在逃避我。但，我不想理。你想怎樣就怎樣吧！我自問問心無愧！希望是我多心吧！我可不想為我簡單的生活添上煩惱。

Yippie YaYa Yippie Yippie Ya..

Eating my freshly-out-of-the-oven scones with hot coffee. Hehehe..I am too happy today, so, gotta let myself loose a little and relaxxxx......
Everything went well today. Haven't been that lucky with my work for quite a while. Really glad. What's more is that I am relieved. The whole worries were off my back now. What's left are my discussions and explanations. More papers need to be read. Can't just BS it off, cause I am not good at doing that when it comes to academic and knowledge. Don't pretend that you know when you don't, that's my principle.

I know what she is trying to do. Cunning. *smirk*
Well, we will see. I really hope that I will get a job before August. Let's pray. Don't really feel like staying here anymore. Anyhow..her offer is quite interesting. Just if, it is going to work out that way. But, I think I will be ashame of myself when I turn 27 or 28 and still don't have any working experiences and is always shielded from the real world.
Conclusion ---> NO

Better get a job, and use the money to go and learn something else that I have always wanted to learn. Get a life.
Now, get back to my power point.

Raining...

Walking back from school in a rainy day is a treat for me after stressing out for so many days. Listening to Jay Chow's 世界末日, dancing "Singing in the rain"steps while sticking my hand outside my umbrella (I was gonna walk without my umbrella but, I still don't have money to replace my ipod yet if I do so). Everything, just fit how I felt at that moment. The song, goes with the weather so well and pretty much telling me how the next month and a half is going to be like for me. Singing in the rain, is how excited I am going to be when this is all over and...let it rain on me!! I can pretty much take anything right now, too tired to fight. I am so tired that I can't even hear my alarm clock every morning.

Have been using the mouse too much lately. My arms are sored. The powerpoint has to be out by tomorrow. Guess I will need another coffee again. Been drinking too much lately and my heart rate got really weird sometimes. Hopefully it is not anything serious. Anyway, if it is anything (God, if you hear me), don't hit me yet, ok? Come after I got a job and have the insurance to pay for it. Hehehe..

Alrite, quit complaining! Time to get back to work again. Hope can get it done before 2am tonight.
Thinking of defending on May 10th or 11th. Told CL just now and she asked me how I am going to do it since she is not going to be here at that time. Hmm..I think I am going to be fine. No, I will be fine. ^-^

Jesus Christ!! Holy God!!!
You made me worried about you for the whole day!! Dammit!! Really didn't know that I cared about you so much. Don't do it again, promise?
Gosh...

----------------------------------------------------------

I am shooting for April 9th, what do you think? Sigh..I want to make it! I will make it!!
Good news is that I don't have to pay for summer tuition. What a relieved! Gotta get my OPT application in asap.

山窮水盡疑無路，柳暗花明又一春。

----------------------------------------------------------

YFRISOTB, give me back and ¡Andá a cagar! Laputa Quetepario!

Just breathe..

This is one of my favorite songs by Anna Nalick. Breathe...just breathe. My defense will be schedule on the 10th of May, hopefully. Which also means that my thesis has to be out 2 weeks before that. Good luck to me. What I need now is breathe...after so many bad news.

Breathe (2AM)

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just a day, he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

2 more weeks..

Two more weeks, two more weeks! URGH!!!!!!!!

My seminar is coming up, and there is so much to do and so little time left!! I gotta make it. I have to make it. I do not want to reschedule my seminar. I do not want an incomplete on my transcript. And, the most important thing is, I want it to be over. O.V.E.R. Over!

Those stupid data are driving me nuts!! Now, I wish I know how to run S.A.S program.

The pressure is building up. I am freaking out now.

I am addicted

I am addicted. I am really, seriously, deadly, addicted. Shame to admit to it, but, I am addicted. Gosh! Somebody save me..
My apartment network is down now. So, can't really online. Luckily, I brought my laptop back. Now, I am using someone else's wireless connection. Hehehe..

Happy birthday to Rou!! Hope all your dreams come true, my dear.

猜心；給心

聰明的人，喜歡猜心，雖然每次都猜對了，但卻失去了自己的心 。
傻氣的人，喜歡給心，雖然每次都被笑了，但卻得到了別人的心。
你是聰明人？還是傻氣的那一位？

Breakfast, anyone?

McD breakfast tomorrow, anyone? 7.30am.
Gotta try their new coffee. Sounded good from the commercial. Will let you know tomorrow after I tried it.

-------------------Edited 11.40pm-------------------

Tried the new McD premium roast coffee with CL this morning. Woke up at 7am just to go for the coffee and the McGrdiddles. The coffee..hmm..not as strong as I thought it would be. It is not that bad, but not strong enough for me yet. I have to admit to that because right after the breakfast, I did the dumbest thing of the day. I got into my car, instead of reverse out of the parking spot, I drove up the curb that separate the parking spaces between my car and the parking spot in front of me. The worst thing is, I didn't even realized it till CL yelled at me. =.= Well, lucky me, it is just a very low curb. If not, I can't imagine what damage it might have done to my car. That's how awake I was.
Anyway, enough said, I still prefer the Verona in Starbuck and the Full Vengeance in MU over the McD coffee (since the Sumatra is not available now). The pros of having McD coffee is that it is cheaper, and it is unlimited refill if you are eating there. If you are going to have it to-go, the cup and the lid is kinda cool though..especially the lid. Hehehe..

Coffee Philosophy

I am a coffee addict. I admit to that. I have to have at least 2 cups of coffee everday. Thus far, the most I have in one day is 5.
I became not much of the espresso drinks drinker now. I still love the caramel machiatto from Starbucks but the rest of the drinks like latte, cappucino, mocha etc etc..becoming less attractive to me now. I am addicted to those brew coffee and Sumatra is my favorite. We can only get it from the Largomarcino cafe, and unfortunately, they shut down over the spring break. The rest of the coffee that you can get on the campus are not strong enough for me. The Verona from Starbucks is not bad either.
Most people dislike coffee because of their bitter taste but that's what I love about coffee. I love the bitter taste of the coffee lingering in my mouth after a full sip of the coffee. Sometimes, I drink the coffee black, pure black, with no sugar nor milk. Sometimes, I drink it with 2 packs of brown sugar and a little bit of half & half creamer. It all depends on my mood.
To me, drinking coffee is a very enjoyable moment of the day. With a hot coffee in your hand, you can pretty much feel that everything is going to be ok. That's just me, I guess. Most people don't understand why I like the bitter taste that much. Well, here's my philosophy of coffee,

No matter how bitter your life is, it wont be as bitter as the coffee you are drinking now.

It is great when you can find someone who share the same habit (bad one) as you are. You can just sit there with each other, in the cold winter, holding a cup of hot coffee in your hand, and enjoy.
The negative part about drinking coffee is that they stain your teeth and they tend to give your mouth a sour odor after a while. So, it is advisable to rinse your mouth and chew some gum after coffee.

Bad Idea..

Staying home today trying to work on my thesis, BAD IDEA!
I slept till 9.30am, which is quite bad already considered I went to bed around 1.30am last night, then, doing nothing for another 3 hours and went back for a nap for another hour. Sigh..SELF DISCIPLINE is all I need now. Part of the main reasons I can't sit down to write is that I got stuck in my writing progress. Lost the train of thoughts. I am done with one part, and don't really know how to continue another part. It is too broad to write everything and I have to narrow and focus it down.
Can't believe I can't even get through the Lite Review smoothly. Shame on me! If I could write a lite review as smooth as I am writing this blog, I am going to be done with my thesis in 2 weeks. Just IF, which is not going to happen anytime soon.
URGH!!!!!!! So frustrated. I was planning to go to library after shower but it was showering out there. So, better stay home before the nature give me another huge shower. The last thing I need now is to let the lovely nature ruin my laptop.
Ok, better get back to my stupid thesis. Still got lab work to do tomorrow.
Cheersss to those who are drinking Kopi-O with me now!

Cozy Saturday Noon..

Sitting in Panera now. Trying to write something for my dear thesis. Sigh..so unfocus. I wanted a bowl of French Onion soup. Well, will wait till the line is shorter.
Can't believe the internet service in Panera is so great. It is wireless and it is fast! Fantastic! I tried log on to the university library website to look for journal articles, it works and it downloaded the pdf files in seconds! Isn't it great? Now I found another place to write my thesis and at the same time, enjoying a nice cup of caramel latte. Well, this might be another way of putting on weight.
Anyway, who can say no to comfortable couch, soothing music in the background, the smell of coffee, nice cup of caramel latte and delicious pastries? Especially a coffee and pastry lover like me.
That's what I like most for a Saturday afternoon. Can't wait to get done with my MS degree. After that, I might be sticking around here to read some books, especially my dusted Harry Potter #6, and maybe, blog a little bit about my jobless life by then. Or maybe, I will go to Lubbock, and work in some coffee house. We will see what's happen next.
Life is too short to not to enjoy it.

Oh, by the way, Happy 1/4 Century Birthday to KTS! Time flies, doesn't it? Hope all your wishes come true!
;)

Great..

Two things happened today. Great things, indeed.

Found out last night that my abstract got accepted, so, Florida, here I come! Quite happy to find out that. June..Florida..what an interesting journey. Hopefully, will get a job offer by then. Not that I am actually looking right now.

Apparently, in her mind, I am not as bad as I thought she thinks I am. If not, she wouldn't have offered me that, right? Anyway, I didn't accept it. I am just doing everyone a favor, especially myself. Enough is enough. It's time to move on to something else. The most important part is, I think I am ready. Kind of excited about it actually. It's time to walk out of my comfort zone, that's what Jie said. I might come back for it, but, not now.

Thursday morning

Good morning, everyone!
Just got back from the gym, enjoying my sandwich and chatting with my friends now. It is a good way to start my day. Now, I only need some coffee.
Hopefully, my "lovely" officemate wont get here that early.

Ego Crash

P, you are being too honest, but, I like it.
Wise does come with age and experiences. I am getting there.

Saturday Night..

Just came back from a surprise b'day party we throw for CL. It was a small party, just a few of us. Her b'day is not here yet but we celebrated it early since we are all going to be busy that day.
I wasn't really in the mood but I have fun especially when we were playing with the cream on the cake. Of course, as usual, I got dragged into the whole mess again. At first, I was trying to avoid them but CL got it on me. So, I just got up, and decided to put up a good fight. Hehehehe...I guess I haven't been playing this for quite some time. Kinda miss it even though it messed up my hair and clothes.
Well, after graduation, I might not find people who would do that with me anymore. So, savor the moment while you still have it!

天真

有時候，天真是好的，但，過於天真是愚蠢的。而我，經常就處於過於天真的邊緣，尤其是當面對著我以為的真心的朋友時，我是毫不防備的。
信任被摧毀了。不想再給她機會了。不可以再給她機會了。
對背叛你的人仁慈，就是對自己殘忍。
已經原諒了她，但得時時刻刻警惕自己，不可再信任她了。

原來，我是個化悲憤為力量的人。繼續加油！
看透了妳，很失望。
昨天，跑了兩英里，沒有停歇過，為自己感到好驕傲。明天約了 T 早上七點再去跑過。
現實生活中的事情，沒有選擇地面對著，只好也唯有把逃跑的欲念實現在跑道上。
這幾天過得很充實，多虧有永遠忙不完的工作和 CL 的陪伴。
我是不會讓妳擊倒的，我明天還是一樣會開心地活著。因為，我選擇了開心。很抱歉地告訴妳，我選擇了當嘗將，慢慢地，消遙地，冷冷但卻高興地，觀看著妳這個螃蟹。

The 200th Post..

Everything is out in the air. I felt, relieved. Can't deny that there is going to be some hurtful feelings. Well, it will be over someday. It is just the matter of time. I will be fine, and I am actually quite fine now, not at my best, but quite fine.
As I always said, Life Moves On. What's next?

What a big SURPRISE!!!

Hmm...Got 2 huge news last night. Was too shock to blog it and now, it's time.
CONGRATULATIONSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To both J & J and Y & J
What a big surprise! I am really really and very very glad that you guys are engaged now! It has been a while that I haven't got this kind of good news. It was a shock, but it was a good shock!
Well, I am still in a quite speechless state right now, but, very happy.

Here comes the good things..

SNOWING!!! SNOWING!!
Yohooo...
The IFT regional meeting got cancelled. Hehehe..Can't believe how happy I am to hear that. I wasn't really in the mood of going actually. I signed up for it and then only it came to my senses that I have to spend 4hours travelling just to attend the meeting. So, it is great now that it got cancelled. Hope I can use the time and do something productive, like, eh..working on my thesis. See, told you, snow is always bringing me good things, except when I have to shovel the snow off my car. It is going to be at least 5 inches, that's what the weather forecast said.
Christy's b'day is this upcoming Sunday. She called last night to ask me to go to bars tonight. Hmm..tonight? No way! It's Thursday! Besides, I got a long experiment to run tomorrow. I really gotta quit clubbing now if I really want to get my thesis done.
Just found out that I got taxed for the FICA and Medicare. Stupid system. I came here since Aug 2001 but they don't care. They counted that as first year. Now, they said I am over my 5th year. So, I gotta pay for that stupid Medicare and FICA that wont even benefit me if I am not a citizen here. Hopefully, I can get it back next year when I file the tax.
Can't believe I am here for almost 5 years already...No wonder I got a culture shock when I went back last time.
Alrite..Lunch time with my buddies..

Random thoughts..

Went for buck burger and beer in Paddy's bar with Nat, Js, B and his wife last night. One question popped up, "What's life?" Seriously, what's life? You are born, then study, then work, then die. Is that it? Huh..what's life?
B told me that I don't look like I felt that I am graduating this May. I look too relax to them. Yeah..I felt that way too. I have only one month left to get my thesis out and I have only what, 3 pages? Great..40 more pages to go. Sounds so much fun.
I think I am not that excited about graduating because I don't have anything to look forward to. I pretty much have everything I want in my life now. I have great friends, family, salary that is sufficient for me to get through my life and that's all. Whatelse? A boyfriend, maybe, maybe not. I am enjoying my life so much now that a boyfriend will mean that I am going to lose my freedom and my carefree life. So, what else? A big house? A nice car? Those are just things that a person want, is not things that a person need. By having those thoughts, you will never be very satisfied with your life. I guess that's what make people improve, isn't it? Sigh..don't ask me..
B asked me to stay here and exploit my opportunities here. I guess, that's what I would do. What's the point of going home besides my parents anyway? I felt like an weirdo when I went home last time. People back home are quite conservative at times. I don't feel like I fit in most of the time. My mindset is in between being an Asian and an American. I kept what I thought is good about my culture, and I accept what is good about their culture. That really makes me a weirdo in both places. However, my conservative mindset that I kept, is not so unacceptable here. I felt more at ease when I am here. B mentioned about how most Asian men do not know how to appreciate woman. I guess that's my culture that I don't like. Why do we have to be the one doing all the houseworks? Why do we have to be the one sacrifice when it comes to sit home and take care of kids? Why can't we be equal in a relationship? There are so many things that I don't understand and I don't like about my culture. Sis told me once that I should find an open minded guy but it is not easy to find that back home. Even a guy who studied oversea before, doesn't mean he is open minded either. I guess that's what B was trying to tell me too. Hahaha...I should be grateful that I have a friend like him.
See, that's the reason I don't feel like graduate in May. I have great friends who care about me all the time and are there for me anytime. B even offered to read my thesis, scan through articles and guide me through the whole thesis writing process. I didn't accept it because I know he has a lot more things to do than I am. Whatelse can I ask for right now? Seriously. Friends like this, not 1, not 2, I have at least 4 here. Some people don't even have 1 of this kind of friends. How could I leave this place? How could I leave them? Seriously.
Sigh..me graduating is like telling all of us that we are going to be apart soon. I am very happy and grateful to have friends like them. No matter how busy we are, we always try to spend time and hang out. Even just a walk to get coffee every morning or after lunch, or going out for a beer during weeknights, is more than enough. I think I will miss them the most after graduation.
Alrite..gtg..going to do some grocery with Cheryll, CL, Nat and Js. Preparing for the upcoming Costa Rican dinner.

Snow..

Snowing..again..
Wish granted..again..
Anyone want to walk with me?
I miss you..snow..

有點煩，不懂到底是為了什麼。很亂。坐不靜了，是時候回家了。好大的壓力。

What my horoscope said?

Horoscope for February 3, 2006

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)

The Bottom Line

You can hope and wish for change, but it won't happen until you make it happen.

In Detail

When you got up this morning, you might have thought you'd want to make it an early night. Forget about that. The heavens have arranged for some red-hot energies to bring someone back into your life who you've been missing -- okay dreadfully missing -- for quite some time. So when that wonderful offer to go out and play comes along, you'll take it. Expect to be up late, talking and laughing. Just be careful with your heart.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some part of it seemed quite true, but I successfully make it an early night. I left the bar quite early today, compare to usual, of course. It was a great night. The bar was not too crowded with hmm..some people that I don't like and the music was so much better than last few weeks. I did run into some people though. Hehehe..I ran into that Target guy and that 21 years old guy I danced with while I got drunk last time. It wasn't quite pleasant to run into that Target guy. He got kinda sticky, kept hanging around and I had to watch my back all the time while I was dancing, even while I was dancing with other guys. CL called him my "Bee". Learned something, put one of your hands on your back while dancing, and then the guy wont be able to come from your back, and if the guy did, don't turn and look back, then he will take the hint and leave after a while.
Glad that I finally managed to turn away a guy tonight all by myself. I am very proud of myself now. ^0^ What opening line is this, "I like your pants"?? From a guy!! C'mon, say something like, "you look nice in those pants", that makes much more sense! Besides, don't ask your friend to come and ask me whether Js is my bf, just come up yourself. I guess he know I would probably say yes if he came up by himself. Hehehe..
Anyway, gotta thank Js though. If not, I would get into more trouble than I am tonight. He rescued me from a couple of guys tonight. What a scary and desperate world!
Ok..3am..time for bed. Nighty night..

Can't You?

Very obvious. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? Seriously?
Cause I can.

Too much to do, too much to think.
Decided to do it, decided not to think.

Good News

Well, I am quite happy that everything turns out fine today. Finally, got my driver license renewed, my project is going, and my living expenses is well taken care of (at least for right now). Everything seems to be quite perfect, I don't think I could ask for more than a life like this (except wasn't able to be home for CNY). I am very grateful for those who stand by me and supported me all these time. Without them, this perfect day wouldn't have come to me that soon, or never will. I am very very lucky to have friends like them.
My thesis, quite unproductive though. Gotta write this all the time to remind myself how lazy I am lately.

Sigh..all my friends are going back for CNY already, felt kinda down about that. This is my 5th year celebrating CNY here. Should've chosen to study abroad in Australia. At least, their summer is always around CNY, then I can go home every year. Sigh..the biggest event of the year, I am missing out. I am getting grumpier..I guess is the side effect of home sick as well, since I just got back from M'sia not long ago.
Alright..I don't even know what I am writing now. Better stop before I start swearing again.
Anyway, wish everyone:

新年快樂
萬事如意
身體健康
財源廣進

Wasn't in the mood of working on my thesis, so, here I am again, whining about my not-so-perfect life.
Not much progress these few days. Sigh..SELF DISCIPLINE!!! I really need to learn that now. I was good at it and for some reason, I am bad at it now. FOCUS!! It is so hard, rather go to sleep. Hehehe..side effect of winter (finding excuses).
I know I will go to Club-e for at least another 3 times before I am done with my thesis and defense. This Saturday, next Friday, and..can't recall now. Brain malfunction.
Ok, going home now.
Everyone..
Happy Chinese New Year!! In case I am lazy to write these few days, since I got so many plans for the CNY now.

飛蛾撲火，自取滅亡。

飛蛾撲火，自取滅亡。
戀愛中的人，都是這樣的，對嗎？如果你不願意撲火，那代表你愛得不夠深，是這樣的嗎？
LL 說我是那種愛撞得焦頭爛額的盲飛蛾。

永不再見

好了，玩飽了，鬧夠了，決定了，投降。
退出吧，也許根本沒進入過。
堅定點，別動搖，不可以動搖。對大家都好。
享受過了，是時侯面對現實了。
請走吧，永不再見！

P/S：姐說：一旦作了决定， 就要坚持下去

The punishment for breaking my promise came too soon. My knees are hurting now. Sigh..

Just some thoughts..

Just got back from Club-e. Yeah, I know I promised myself (not really promise though) that I will not go to the bar until I am done with my thesis, but, I broke the promise within, a week. Hehehe..SELF DISCIPLINE!!! Sigh..I suck at this.
While dancing in Club-e, I finally figured out and admitted to what I really missed lately. I knew it all along and I was just denying it. Thought that denying it and lying to myself might help a little, but, still, I have to face it finally. Not planning to solve it though, cause solving it wont bring me any good either. Well, I guess I just have to learn to deal with it. That's part of growing up, isn't it?

Was chatting with YC this morning. Realize that when life gives you challenges, and turns your world upside down, the only thing you can do is face it, get over it and move on. That's the only way. If you stop there, you are going to stuck there all by yourself. No one in this world is going to stop with you. That's quite a pessimistic view of life but, that's the bloody truth. YC told me, you will be happy when you are able to solve everything by the end. That's quite true too..just if, the ending is the one that you wanted it.
There are so many decisions to make about life. I am still stuck on the junction. Huh..just realized that I had been on this same junction for two years already. Pathetic, rite? It's time to act like a grown up now.

Time to go to bed. Shoot! My bedroom smells like cigar!! Damn it! What stupid things did I do tonight? Oh yeah..don't want to think about it right now. Nite..everyone

Wish Granted!!

I am very very very happy now even though none of my problems were solved, cause, it is snowing outside!!!
Unbelievable!! My wish is granted. Thanks.
Hopefully, everything will turn out alright. Never been in such a huge mess before. Thanks to those who gave me supports and advices. A huge thanks to those who pushed me to stand up for myself and never gave up on me. I really love you guys..

Wishing for snow..

Wishing for snow right now. Please, come down. I really need one, a huge one. That might help me to forget my problems.
Now, I finally found out how much I could take in one day. Thanks to you, bitch! Keep pushing it, it wont bring any good to any of us if I quit. You should be glad that I know that. Sigh..life didn't leave me any choices. How could everything happened in one day? One single day! One morning!!
Year 2006, what a warm welcoming gift you brought me..
Life goes on..I guess that's part of growing up.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I really really need it!

才知道，原來，星期一是公共假期。真迷糊，拿我自己沒辦法，打救不了我的痴呆。發現我越來越笨了！還是本來就蠻笨的了，只是從來都不承認而已。可能是吧！算了，別想那麼多了，明天還得早起去修車。祝我好運啦！
最近迷上了《六色彩虹》和《知足》這兩首歌。