Teh Tarik!!

Suddenly really want a cup of teh tarik. I always love teh tarik and I always order teh tarik when I went to Mamak stall late at night. I couldn't order coffee because it usually makes me stay awake the whole night and become hyperactive. I also tried to limit myself to a cup of coffee a day, so, at night, is usually teh tarik. :)
For those non-malaysian, teh tarik is a regular milk tea with some special technique applied on it ;P. Well, I know there are caffeine in tea too, but, I only like hot drinks, so, just have to pretend that I didn't know it. :)
I was watching TV and expecting CSI and CSI:NY tonight, but it turns out that 3 channels are having the Presidential Debate, and the other channel is having a rerun of One Tree Hill. Well, nothing much to watch since I don't have a cable.
Boring night. Too lazy to study. I think I have about more than a week left before my second biochemistry exam coming up. Getting nervous now. You know, there are this kind of people, they are worried about something, but they just too lazy to take action to solve the problem. Yeah, that's me. Too bad.
Ok..continue lazying..

People comes, people goes..

Went to dinner with a couple of friends. Barbara is leaving to New Jersey this coming Saturday, and Mei is leaving back to Hong Kong tomorrow morning. It is not that I won't see them forever, I know that Mei is coming back after two weeks, but things happen, you know. People changed their mind all the time and people just changed. Ok..getting a little depressed here. ;)
Well, I am glad that Barbara finally got her degree and now she is moving back to New Jersey to her husband. It is nice to know that two people who love each other could have each other beside them everyday. :) I am also very happy that Mei got to go back to Hong Kong to see her family and Sam before she starts her new job. It is good for her. Really happy for her. I know she misses Sam and her family a lot. Hopefully, they can be with each other soon in the future. Just wanted to have some good thing happen to good people.
Everyone is gone. Just you, my lovely computer, and, me, well, and my ipod. :) Really glad to have the ipod. Eases me everytime when I really need some time off. Now, with this blog, at least I know that I could write something by using my computer. I think someday I would lose my ability to write by using paper and pen ;P Technology! --`
Anyhow, wanted to say Happy Birthday to Siang Ting! Hei, I didn't forget your birthday, ok? I sent you a birthday card, not the e-card (not like someone), my friend. Hope the postman won't lost it somewhere. I purposely put different stamps on it so that you can collect them. ;)
Also, Happy Belated Birthday, Zach! Sorry that we didn't know yesterday was your birthday. Guess you must be happy that you can drink legally now! ;)
Weather is turning cold here, so, my friends in Ames, or whoever is coming to visit Ames, put on a jacket, ok?
Ok..heading to my sack now..nite..

Virginia

Have been away the whole weekend. Pretty tired now. I went to Arlington, VA to visit him. It was a good trip though. I am pretty glad that I got to see him and also get away from all the stress Ames gave me.
I wasn't realize that I wasn't happy in Ames because of all the stress until the time when the flight touch down in Des Moines International airport. It sort of pulled me back to the reality when I started to think about all the stuff coming up this week, the carpet changing this coming Wednesday that the landlord insist of doing it, coursework, TA and my research. I felt like a big stone drop on my chest and it is so hard to breath. I wasn't happy the first day when I was in Virginia because my mind kept running through the carpet cleaning thing and how much troubles it would cause me. Seems like moving into this apartment had given me so much troubles. I might find some gray hair someday. :/ Then, I tried not to think about all this thing and enjoy my time. I am happy that I helped him set up his apartment and installed some furniture. It was pretty fun and happy when you know that you are doing something for someone you love.
Pretty tired now. Need to go to bed. Will talk about the weird stuff in Arlington next time. Nite.. --Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

To my dearest brother..

Today, September 23, 2004, you have left us for three years. I still clearly remember that morning when I picked up the phone, it was barely 7am in the morning. It was heart broken. I always tried to tell myself that it was just a joke my mum plays on me until I went home that summer and visited your graveyard. It was really hard to accept that. I think, if I never saw your graveyard, I am still in the denial state.
You are the best brother I ever had. You are the only siblings who actually grew up with me. We played together, fight with each other and helped each other most of the time. After we grew up, we share our secrets and things we did that we never wanted our parents to know. I am always the one who choose your outfit for you and I always enjoyed doing that. I still remember the time when I went to Taiwan, I bought a lot of things for you but I didn't buy anything for other siblings. You are also always the one who remember to buy me birthday present.
We are not able to find the person who caused that accident, but I know that you wouldn't want us to find him because this will only hurt us even more. I don't even know what I would do if I find him.
I am really regret that I didn't spend much time with you before I came here. Sometimes, I really hoped that things could changed and I could go back in time.
I am now working on my master degree. You told us before that, nowadays, everybody has a bachelor degree, so you think that a master degree might be more helpful. I am now working on the dream that you never had a chance to achieve.
I never told you I love you, but I know you knew it in your heart.
My prayers will always be with you..
Rest in peace, my dearest brother.

Thursday nite..

It's Thursday night again. Sirens going around my apartment. Don't know if it is police car or fire engine. Don't even bother to take a look.
I live just a few blocks to the campus town, which, a lot of bars are here and a lot of student live near here too. Thursday night, can be consider the pre-party night. US got this strict regulations about drinking age and thus, underage drinking become a serious problem. Can you believe that you have to be 21 to drink, but you can vote when you are 18 in US? Well, evidently, the government think that the teenagers are smart enough to choose the leader for their country, but not smart enough to make the smart choice about drinking. I think this age thing make the underage people even more eager to have a taste of beer(you can't believe how much they love beer!). Therefore, Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night and sometimes even Sunday night, you will see a long line outside the bar, or if you have some connection, you might be able to get into some house party. House party are usually for those underage people. I never been to one though. Not a big fans of crowded place with drunk dude trying to get laid. Anyway, when those people got drunk, they will do some stupid things. Sometimes, they will go to set off the fire alarm, or vandalize something and make the police officer busy.
It is annoying though because during these nights, there are more police car around the town and you have to drive really careful, no speeding! (In US, you cannot "rasuah" the police officer, and when you got a ticket, your car insurance increase) And if you go to bed earlier, you have to close all the windows. If not, you might be waken up by the police and fire engine's siren. The worst case is that, some people set off the fire alarm in your apartment, and you have to get out from your dream, and evacuate when there is no fire at all!! --"
Well, it is Thursday night, the night before the weekend starts..Still better than Sunday night, the night before the week starts. :)

wow woW wOW WOW!!!

Don't have the mood to study now, so, I turn on the TV watch Jay Leno's show . He was joking about Oprah Winfrey giving out Pontiac G6 to all her audience two days ago and make other talk show host look like cheap bxxxxxd. I was curious whether the news is true or not. So, I went on to check on the website and found out that indeed it is TRUE! Wow!
The Pontiac dealer actually said that by sponsoring Oprah Winfrey and giving out 276 Pontiac G6 (which is around 7 million), they actually advertise their car better than when they spend 50 million to do the advertisement! Can you believe that?
I know that Oprah Winfrey is a very popular talk show host and she had a lot of viewers and audiences. I read news about how people trying to buy something she wore in the show and how she helped advertise a certain brand of clothes or shoes. I never knew that she could actually helped advertise car! Wow! Seems like she is a lot better and popular than Martha Stewart. :/
I am now really impressed with what these popular talk show host could do to their audience and the public. Hmm..maybe she should affect her audience so that they won't vote for Bxxx in this coming election? Hehehe..

Am I going to make it? Am I not?

Stressed out from studying Biochemistry for the whole night. Still 3 more chapters, 110pages to go and 20 amino acids' names, structures, abbreviations and single letters to memorize. 3 1/2 days left after minus out the time I have to work and TA.
Can anyone find me a flower with a bunch of petals? Need to peel it to know if I can make it or not..
Am I going to make it? Am I not?
Nite..sleepy..Might need to fill my stomach with caffeine again tomorrow..

IT'S A CRAZY WORLD

When you thought they are your friend, they betrayed you..

When you thought you are healthy, you got so sick suddenly and have to be hospitalized for weeks..

When you thought your professor will do what she promised, she changed her mind again and put you into big troubles..

When you thought respecting other people's privacy is a common knowledge, you witness your officemate going through your stuff when you are not in..

When you thought you only have one exam next week, your professor changed his mind and you turned out to have two..

When you thought you are going to kickboxing, you found out that you wear your sneakers instead of you sport shoes..

When you thought that guys in food science department are not much different from guys in other department, you just knew that they are no different from gals in food science department..

When you thought you will get done with your degree in two years, your professor just tried to delay you..

When you thought that you are still the you three months before, you suddenly realized that you are bitching about people too much..

Just a thought..

Just finish two pages of my biochemistry book. 100+ pages to go. One question come through my mind when I was studying.

"How did you know if he/she is the right one?"

I have been throwing this questions to some of my married friends and the answer I got is, "You just know".
Some of my friends they got married when they were only 20 years old or in their early 20s. That sounds scary to me. How did they know if he/she is the right one? I guess maybe they are really mature enough to know that. I have seen a lot of marriage or relationship were ruined when they start to work. I think people changed after they start working.
Well, I don't have any answer to all these questions since I m still in school and I am single. Even though I am working half time, working in school is still, well, not that complicated as in the society.
Just a thought of mine..

In a very bad mood now. Need to go back to lab today to do some sample for that fat ass. Seems like my professor don't really wanted to hire another person to do that job. She and another professor kind of throw it back one me again. I am getting really frustrated now. I tried to tell the other professor that I am not a superwoman and I couldn't handle so much stuff at once but he seems like he don't understand what I am trying to say! Gosh..what's wrong with my life now? I am getting lost.
Things around me are getting more confusing than ever. Friendship, my personality, my work, my study...everything is so off! The only thing that is right is my family members and my relationship. I am lost now. Losing my directions and don't know what I want to do with my life. The only thing I could do now is to complete my degree and try not to think about other stuff. I have no choice, I started it, now, I have to finish it. I guess that is what we call the "Mature" way to solve things. Growing up is tough..

Just get out from all the classes and work. Pretty tired and hungry now. Need to get use to that. My life will be like this every Wednesday and Friday due to that TA job. Hope this semester will be over soon. Wanted to go home very badly. Home sick..
Waiting for CL to go to Rec center to do some exercise. Haven't been doing any this week. Too busy with my work and classes. Don't think we will do it though. Too tired. Might as well go and get some food..haha..we will see..

Well, planned to write something but get stuck playing around with the different skins I just found. It's pretty cool. I still couldn't figure out how to put the comment thing ^~^, hehe..nevermind, not much people leave comment anyway. :)
Ames is getting colder now. Winter is coming, actually, fall is not here yet. Oh well, let's wait to see how much snow we will have. This year might be tough for me. This is the first year I have a car during winter. I guess I will start to take bus when the snow cover up my car. --"
I just missed a broadway show, "Tap Dog" tonight. I was planning to go but don't really have mood. Somemore, I haven't get used to watching movie or broadway by myself yet. Will try to learn..
KS just left this morning. He is now in South Bend, IN. He will be driving for, emm another two days before he reach Virginia. Hope everything goes well for him. Pray hard.
Now, I am officially living by myself. Watched TV and iron my clothes the whole night. Eating leftover pizza from last week, leftover dim sum from last weekend, hmm..see how well my stomach could survive this time. If not, haha..I can probably get an excuse to get away from my TA duty tomorrow. :P The professor is pretty nice, he told me today that I can tell him if I am sick, he could handle it. I was touched when he told me that.
Tomorrow, hope I can finish tidy up the apartment. Need to start study for my biochemistry class now. A week from the exam..huh...being warned not to do that by a lot of graduate students who took that class, but, lazy people will never listen. ^^ Hopefully, hehehe..I still can make it.
Now, need to conquer my fear of dark...good night..

Sometimes, being honest is the best way. I have been wanted to tell my major professor for so long that I do not want to work on the project, but I am just not brave enough to do that. Well, today, I finally have the guts to tell her. Thanks to Sa who told me the technique to express what I think and to get what I want, and also thanks to Nat who gave me the courage to tell her. Hu...finally, I get out from that project. Sleep better now. :) Need to thank KS for his support all the time..even though he had been nagging me since my professor assign me that project. :P Now he is glad that I have the guts to tell my professor.

Destiny..

Yesterday was KS's birthday. (Happy Birthday!! and Congratulations!!) He planned a BBQ party for his friends because he promised to treat them after he got a job. It is such a coincident that it is also his birthday that day. :)
Jeff was the chef, again. Everyone loves t0 have him as the chef because he make the best bbq rib! I was having fun yesterday. There are two different groups of people there, one are from his lab, and the other are from his friends outside his department. Well, some of them are really quiet and they didn't interact between groups that well. I think this is highly dependent on the personality. Some people will try to get along in a party but some just prefer to sit in the corner and make him/herself feel bored.
One thing I feel really sad about is that, one of my friend, he used to like to socialize with people a lot, well, not a lot but at least, he wont be the one who will sit there and get bored had changed after he got another big group of friend. I felt like he doesn't want to make any new friends except those friend that other people brought into his group. He seldom mix around with us that much either. Well, I guess there is a destiny for everyone, and, maybe, also for a friendship.
Where will my destiny brings me to? How about all the friendships and relationship I have now? Will I be back to Malaysia? Or, will I stuck here? Not knowing the answer might be the fun or maybe, the worst part of the whole journey.
Let's have fate in the god we trust..even though he/she already let me down once..

Very free now. We are suppose to have a class now but we are not sure if the professor is coming. So, we ganged up and decided not to go. Wakakakakaka..that's the good thing about small class and knowing most of the people in the class. :P
I am now doing nothing in Heady computer lab. I am tired. Woke up at 7am this morning because we have an appointment with the legal service to ask about our rights. The management of my previous apartment, First Property Management, charges us for 300 bucks without appropriate explaination and prove. The jerk, Mike, said that the closet damage costs 100 bucks. Ok, we already written there that the closet got some white paint when we moved in. So, he said he will return us 100 bucks for that. Well, anyway, paiting a closet costs 100bucks??!! Excuse me!! Anyway, this is settle.
Then, for the 200 bucks, he said there is a large stain on the carpet! We have been living in there for 3 yrs! Do you think we wouldn't notice if there is a large stain on the carpet? We ask him to itemize it why this costs 200bucks but he couldn't! And, the most important thing is that, he already changed the carpet! He promised the current tenant that he would change the carpet if they rent that apartment and he also told us before that if we continue lease, he would change the carpet for us. So, if you already planned to change the carpet, there is no reason to charge us for that! Somemore, the carpet wasn't new when we moved in. It had been used for several years and we all know that carpet usually lasts for only 7 years the most. Besides this, he told us that he leave us a note asking us not to clean the carpet. Emm...excuse me, if you really did, do you think we are that stupid to spend 100 bucks to clean the carpet??!! He is a ridiculous son of the bxxxx!
We talked to the attorney and he said that we could file a small claim against him but two of us have to present during the trial. It is a lot of hassle but, you know what? In order to teach this bastard a lesson, I don't care!
Sorry if I am really rude here but I really couldn't find a better word to describe him. Thanks to Mike Reid who thought me all these words..hahaha.. (There are two different Mike here, one is that jerk, and the other one is my friend, Mike Reid :) )

Something is bugging me these few weeks. I have been trying to figure out the answer for weeks and lastly, I got it. Even though I wasn't happy with the answer, well, what the hell? That's the answer, I can do nothing with that.
Actually, I expected that answer, but I don't expect the explaination. I am hurt when I knew the answer. Well, actually, I already decided to give up. So, even though the answer and the explaination hurt me a lot, at least, I already have an idea what I am going to do.
Goodbye, my friend. All the best in your future! I don't hate you, I am not mad at you or anything, just that if this is what best for you, or if this is what you decided, I can live with that. All the happy memories we have before will always be with me.
After all these years of being a "human", I have learned that we could not beg for a friendship or force someone to be our friend when they don't want to. Friends, come and go. If we can get along, then we could be good friend. If we could not, then we can be "Hi" and "Bye" type of friend. If our friendship turn sour, we could try our best to work it out. If it doesn't work out, then we could just leave our friendship to fate.
I have already tried to work it out, you decided to give up. So, I respect your decision. You will always be my friend just that we will not be as close as before or we might turn into "Hi" and "Bye" type of friend.
Whatever..

Hiu...Just came back from kickboxing. Pretty tired and exhausted now.
This is the first time I participated in a kickboxing lesson. CL and I planned to try it out to see if we like it, it is quite fun though. I haven't been sweating so badly since..I don't even remember when. :)
For those who have no idea what kickboxing is, here is the definition from Dictionary.com: A martial art and sport of attack and defense, in which competitors wear boxing gloves and throw punches as in boxing and kick with their bare feet as in karate.
Well, I didn't wear any boxing gloves in that class though. It might be really cool if we could have a chance to wear those. And we did not kick with bare feet, we wear our sport shoes all along.
I like this sport because I kind of found my own "masculine" side when I did that sport. I used to play Chinese drum when I was in high school and I felt very sporty when I did that kind of sport. Doing kickboxing allowing me to sort of explore that side of me again, which I like it a lot. It makes me feel strong and independent, which I need the most right now as KS is going to leave for his job in Virginia soon.
Luckily CL likes that sport too. I thought she wouldn't like it because she is a soft girl and at the beginning, she prefer yoga over kickboxing and I am the one who drag her to the class.
These few days, I have been working out a lot. I haven't been work out that much for the last four years. CL and I went to yoga, pilates and kickboxing. We were thinking about going to the Latino Grooves tomorrow, but I think we might not be able to make it since CL has to do the processing. Hmm..I am thinking about going alone. We will see..
Hope that we can continue to work out like this in the next 13 weeks of school. I really need to lose some fat..haha