Yippie!!!

Going home! Going home! Going home!
Multitasking is a skill that I mastered it so well. Been running and rushing like crazy lately. Finally, finished return all phone calls and emails. I am set to go! Just 1 more thing to do..typing out my work directions for my manager.

Completely stressed out! My mind was going round and round on what needs to be done before I leave, I am going insane!

Today, will be a waste of my time. Sigh..what a stupid idea to start up with.

Tomorrow, will be another waste of my time. So dumb to even suggested it.

Tuesday and Wednesday, I have to attend the OSHA training course, which means that I might have to work till 10pm in order to get the production going on Wednesday; which means that I might have to drive myself to the airport on Thursday early morning and pay that $204 on the parking.

Shouldn't have take this sick leave on Monday.

I am dumb.

Eternal Flame

Finally, I found out the name of the song! Still can't find it yet, but, youtube would do it for now.
I have heard someone sang this song once when I was young and the chorus stuck in my head since. For no reason at all, the song came up in my mind again. I really like the opening and the chorus..so nice..

1 mystery solve.

Good night.

Think...

While I was planning a shelf life testing for private label product for a specific customer, started to realize that I do enjoy and love the degree I held.
I was reading through the materials and information from the internet and I felt that kind of adrenaline rush that I had while I was taking my biochemistry back in graduate school. I started questioning myself:

1. Is another job going to allow me to work on what I acually enjoy doing and allow me to learn what I enjoy learning?

2. Is going back to school and follow the academic route would be what I truly wanted?

Started to wonder again.

NH told me that god has a way for everyone. I do believe in destiny and I do believe that god does exist, but I believe that striving for what I want is the way to live my life instead of waiting for god to hand it to me.

I forgot my glasses at home and now my brain went blur too..hehehe..

Ready to Sail!!

It has been quite a smooth sailing week. Mostly due to the fact that my GM no longer cared, and thus, he stopped pushing me to the edge. Well, my swearing and cursing techniques are upgraded to a higher level.

Now only I realized that I can be a REAL EVIL when I wanted to. I was lying in the bed trying to recall the last time I ever plotted something like that against someone and I can't even recall when that was. Glad that I am still me. I guess if you pushed a person to the edge, they will turn into someone else.

I am not sure if everything happened at the right time. It seemed like it is the right time for me to find a new job, but with the vacation that is coming up, it is really hard for me to decide when is the best quit date and how the visa process is going to be affected. I do not want to be turned down when I try to get into the U.S. but, I wanted to go back still! It is a tough call. I wanted to get out of this job ASAP but at the mean time, I wanted to attend the wedding and see my friends too! I think I am asking for too much. I will just have to go with whatever life throws me and hoping that everything will turn out fine. It might mean that I might have to give up the air ticket. Sigh..I am broke!!

It is quite obvious that the job market is opening up for international students in my field. I am very glad to receive calls from companies and recruiters. Now, I have the confident to not let my desperation pushed me into another yucky job like the one I have now. I told a recruiter that day when she asked if I wanted to work for the largest ice cream manufacturing company in the world, and my answer was NO. I have heard bad things about that company and I do not even bother to work for them. She said she got another opening in NE and I know what company she is referring to and honestly, I am not interested either. Well, we will see how things will turn out for me. Anyhow, I still have to juggle between a good job, and getting stuck in midwest/small town.

I am very grateful for all the people around me who are trying to help me. My Toastmaster's friends, vendors I worked with, and even my boss! It is a blessing for me to have friends like them.

Alright, wish me luck on these two jobs I am currently working on. I really wanted them so badly!!

Moving on, Moving Forward

Finally, things that bothered me so much throughout the weekend had came to an end.

I went in and talked to GM for about an hour after work today. This is the first time I am being so honest to him. I told him everything that is on my mind and told him about I almost flipped Lord Voldemort off in that meeting and walked out. He was surprised.

GM apologized to me on behalf of Lord Voldemort for everything that I have been through and everything that I had to put up with. GM and NH told me that they have never worked in a workplace like this before either in their 20 - 30++ years of working life. Tried to convince and comfort me that working life is not this bad at all. In fact, they might be right. There are many times when I tried to tell my friends what is going on, I am having a hard time saying it because everything seemed so surreal, is like I imagined all that. It is just unbelievable! They told me that when I get a new job, things will come easy because nothing will be as bad as this job. I certainly hope so.

After calming down and thinking it through, being able to work with them is a blessing to start up with. They are one of those people who you can trust and you can count on. The harmony in the office was perfect but perfect things, are just something that meant to be destroyed under Lord Voldemort's eyes. It is sad to see things go down like this.

At least, right now, we all know what our next steps are.
At least, right now, I am not as lost as I was.

I am in need of a lot of luck! Please, pray for me..

The GM is thinking of quitting at the end of this month.
I didn't get out from work until 10 last night. It is sickening.

Was having a hard time falling asleep last night. Even when I was sleeping, I know my brain is thinking about my work, it seemed like it was never rested. Woke up at 5a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. At that point, I was almost ready to just type out a resignation letter and walk away. All these nightmares and insomnia are just not worth it!

My ticket is not cancel yet. I am preparing myself for the worst. I am so home sick right now.

Shame on him that he thought he could use that few thousand dollars to make us split another person's job when he is going to save 52K out of the whole deal.
You know what, you can take that money and shove it up your ass! I could not care less.

I need a new job. I wonder how things would be like if the GM and I walked out at the same time. I wished and prayed for that to happen SOON.

我做不下去，我挨不下去，我熬不下去了！
每天都累得像去打戰回來一樣，更糟的是什麼都沒學到！而且整個人像患了憂鬱症般，會。。。這幾天都睡不好，昨天還因為發惡夢而被嚇醒了睡不著。已經不記得最後一次被夢嚇醒是什麼時候了。
你們也越來越過份！不是問我可不可以留下來，而是告訴我留下來！他媽的！你他媽的薪水是我的三倍以上吶！干嘛我還必需做得比你還像頭牛呢？現在還想利用三份之一的三十巴仙來想讓我們為你做牛做馬，你去死吧！你以為老娘昨天才從娘胎滾出來喔？你那區區的一千塊，就想我為你賣命，想我跟那死雜種一起合作讓他點，你發你他媽的春秋大夢吧！
在開會的時候，我不知用了多大的忍耐力，才沒讓我的中指在你那低賤的腦袋里烙下一個讓你畢生難忘的印像！

從我懂事以來，我從來都不曾那麼瞧不起一個人，而你，是第一個。從來不曾那麼厭惡一個人，而你，是第一個。

我只想告訴你：
你。去。死。吧！！！！！