失去 VS 得到

看了一些相片﹐突然感覺很幸福。過去的已過去﹐感謝上天這一切發生了﹐不然我也不會像今天這麼幸福。有些人的自大和自我﹐是永遠都不會改變的。有時候﹐失去並不是一件壞事﹐沒有失去過就不會知道將來能得到些什麼﹔沒有傷心過﹐也不會有今天的堅強。

我幸福滿滿地迎接2009年的到來。。

Renaissance Festival 2008

Finally...after years of looking forward to Renaissance Festival and was never able to make it to one, I did it this year! It was an interesting experience. The people and the art crafts they sold were what amazes me the most. Unfortunately, there is no free lunch. If you want to take picture with one of these dressed up people, you have to pay them. Of course, I was not THAT interested to spend money on taking pictures with them. Thus...pictures without me. =)

This is like one of the creatures mentioned in Harry Potter. Kinda interesting to see one. I was waiting for him to walk but he did not the whole time I was around.

KM outside the stores selling food...Magical Food...Wonder if there is any potion that I can buy...Muahahaha

Of course, you can't miss the turkey leg.

Me & one of the ladies from the show. I need to try those clothes at least once in my life...

Everyone there speaks the old Shakespeare kinda English. They addressed me Milady and KM Milord. It is kinda weird. I was wondering...if I ehmm ehmm...kinda drive them nuts, will they start talking normally? Or will they cuss in those English too? It would be something interesting to find out...Hehe...(evil me).

Me & my alcohol...

KM admiring one of the horses...

Lastly....lovely couples.

It is a very fun festival. Everyone should at least go there once & maybe, participate once by dressing up like those people. It will be fun. Maybe I will do that next year... =)

忙忙忙。。。忙忙忙。。。忙得忽略了身邊很多人和事，也不小心忽略了自己。嗚。。終於可以歇一歇了。該把自己關起來自閉自閉一下。

音，沒有忘了妳的生日啦。只是，遲了。。嘿嘿。。一點點，再加上，弄丟了妳的電話號碼。。嘻嘻。。還有，還有，提前的，新婚快樂囉！扯平了，一前一後。嘿嘿。。千萬別有婚前恐懼症喔。。願你們白頭偕老。嘿。。還是有點遺憾我不能出席。老朋友，長大囉！想不到，我們已相識了半個人生。好好珍惜他呀！以後，有他在你身邊，也不必那麼擔心你了。

老媽，也沒忘了答應幫妳讀的東西啦。。讓我再看清楚點才告訴妳。

感恩節過了，所有的節日都要來了。



和教授還有 Nat 一起過了我們的感恩節。今年，沒有以往的火雞，卻有了大家因經濟穩定而帶來的那份歡樂。我們，都漸漸長大了。

迷失的秋天

秋天，終於來了！雖然德薩斯的秋天真的和我經曆過的秋天有天淵之別，但，總好過沒有！=)
知足常樂！

怡保在迷失的楓葉公園影的秋天寫真集。。嘿嘿。。

啊。。。又五顏六色了！氣哪！這是今年的第三次了！好討嚴吶！還以為已經漸漸好轉了，卻好像。。更慘了。好累噢。。病得好累噢。。借個肩膀靠靠。

猶記得小時候，病了都特別愛哭。聽到媽媽的問候，就會開始流淚。。長大了，好像也沒進步多少。哀吶。。

一個人流蕩了那麼多年，病了自己照顧自己的日子也過慣了，可是還是還擇不愛這樣過。人，真的不是個體的生物誒，至少我不是。印像最深的生病記錄，該是03年的春假吧！朋友們都趁著假日去玩了，我卻只能躺在床上，連起來弄個飯的力氣都沒了。還好有室友，才不至於。。也記得當時把朋友嚇著了，特意開車來給我送幾個她老遠從香港帶回來的金桔。。好感動。

病得真不是時候，偏偏在我工作最忙，最壓力的時候，讓我病得連作戰的能力都被削簿了。好無奈。工作上，學問的難題，對我來說是個很好的挑戰，人際的斗爭，對我來說是種壓力。。還是很喜歡那種一個人待在實驗室的日子。

病魔。。快走！

Peace...

No matter what happened, we always have to move forward and move on with our life. We tried our best to be in control of our life but most of the time, we can't. We failed to do that. Whether we like it or not, we are not solitary. We live in a community and we interact with people around us. Some of the decisions are not really up to us. There are human factors, environmental factors and even machine factors that can cause a disaster in what we are trying to accomplish.

Somewhat disappointed in someone. Some people uses God's name to justify his action and his misdemeanor. It is quite sad. He views others's friendly opinion as being busy body and constantly thinks that everyone is out there to sabotage him. I am in a constant mode of warning myself not to turn out like him. I still remember DR once told me, "Learn the good from your superior as well as learn from his mistake to warn yourself not to repeat them". I am learning. DR also reminded me few days ago, "The goals are important but the relationship you have with your coworker is much more important than achieving your goals." I wish HP would understand and agree to that.

Please remind me 20 years from now if I turned into an arrogant and stubborn old fart. =)

After my conversation with KH that night, I just realized how lucky I am right now at this moment. Comparing to my old job, the chaos and politics are quite similar. One major thing that makes the different is that I have good people around me. Yes, I know my mgr is really hard to put up with but there are still lots of good people around me and people are reasonable comparing to the hormone driven old job. I am very much blessed.

I should not ask for more but to do my best in everything.

Peace...

Paintball = Painball

The sign of Paintball!! What an exhausting day...

We started journey out to the paintball field around 9.15am and it is about an hour East from SA. They said it is the nation's best paintball field. We got there and there were 2 others teams there. So, we joined them and started playing.

We went through a few fields and it was quite easy. We won all the games. The other team has too many kids and of course...there is no such thing as mercy in war field. I got shot on my fingers and my gun on the first field and I have to walk away cause my gun got problem on the second game. The next game, while I was cocking my gun, someone shot me on my arm but it was not that bad.

The last one, is the Kill House. It is a big trailer build like a maze where the defender can hide inside and start shooting at you when you are turning corners. The shots are wayyyyyy closer than any shots we ever encountered. We were attacker and we went into the house as soon as the game started. We were trying to turn on a corner and D got shot, so, he was out. There left 3 of us girls, and we were trying it again. I was trying to be more aggressive because those games before this, was not as aggressive and it gets a little bit boring. So, as I was trying to turn, the guy started shooting. I got 3 shots at once! The first 2, were not bad, but the last one, on my hand, I was literally screaming and almost dropped my gun! When i saw the pieces of the bullet, the paint and blood running down my hand...I decided, I am done! Haha...

We were all exhausted and quite dehydrated at the end of the day. I came back with a headache and a big bruise + cuts on my hand.

I had a great time and would definitely go back but...next time, with GEARS!!

夢中的愛情

zui jin, zai wo shen bian fa sheng le yi ge man, ling ren xin wei, ye xin dong de ai qing gu shi. liang ren, dou bu gu yi qie di, jue ding xie shou zou wan yu sheng. wo xiang, zhe, xu yao hen da de yong qi ba. fang xia suo you, he ni yi qi zhong lao...

ji de kan yi bu dian ying shi, nu zhu jue de fu qin shuo le zhe me yi ju hua, "mei ge nu ren, dou you ta meng xiang zhong de ai qing" wo hai man zhan tong zhe ju hua de. shi de, hen duo nu ren, dou you meng xiang zhong de hun li, qi shi, meng xiang zhong de ai qing cai shi jue ding yuan bu yuan yi tuo fu zhong sheng de zui hou na ke qi zi ba?

ni zhao dao le ni meng xiang zhong de ai qing le ma? ni you yong qi fang xia yi qie he dui fang zhong lao ma?

hun yin, qi shi cong lai dou mei you bao zhang de. ji shi zai yi qi hen jiu hou cai jie hun, ye ke neng hui nao li hun. you xie qing lu, cai ren shi le ji ge yue jiu jie hun de, fan er cheng le na ge yi sheng yi shi de. zui zhong yao de shi, na fen xin dong he ta suo neng gei ni dai lai de gan dong ba?

tu ran, you suo gan kai...

dong tian lai le...cai fa xian dao, wo hai mei zhun bei hao guo dong. hao leng na...

最近﹐生活好忙哦。玩太多了﹐是時候停下來歇一歇了。人﹐把生活排得滿滿地﹐是因為不能面對單獨時的那份寂寞嗎?我是真的把生活排得太滿了。好多通該打的電話﹐都拖了好久好久﹐還是﹐沒打。還好﹐把感恩節留給了朋友們﹐才沒讓我覺得愧對了那群死黨。希望能夠見完所有朋友吧。。雖然情況不太樂觀。

最近過得很好。為了工作﹐東奔西跑﹐卻也很開心。特別是去休士頓﹐不是去CC﹐更開心!

老闆戀愛了!為了愛情走天涯的那種心境﹐我只能給他一個服字。也許年紀大了點﹐會更懂得珍惜那份得來不易的愛情吧!年紀越大﹐就越看得開﹐就越能夠互相包容和遷就?還是只有真愛才能有這種效果?我也迷糊了。。緣份這東西﹐太奇妙了!

終於有機會打彩色球了!好期待哦!希望不會取消吧。。本小姐可是等了好多年才等到的哩。。這個星期不可以病!病了也照去!!回來就會左青右黑的了。。老闆恐怕會以為我被虐待了。。嘿嘿。。頭號嫌犯﹐看我怎麼陷害你。。

Bread!!

First time in my life, I made bread!!! So excited!!! I guess there is always a bright side to everything. My boss is piled up with work and thus, he had to let it go, which means, I got the chance to do all the lab test on my own!! Although it was my first time making bread, although I was only given instruction verbally, although no demonstration was given, I still succeeded!! I think my boss was surprise that I succeeded. Haha..Alright alright...It wasn't perfect. I laid the dough sidewayed and thus the bread was sidewayed after proofing and baking. Oh well, if I had made a perfect dough the first time, that would not be fun anymore.

Ok ok...now I am kinda addicted to making bread. It is actually quite fun. Well, I am those people who enjoy researching and playing with new things on my own anyway. Yeah, I am kinda weird that way. I hate people mumbling around me when I am trying to make new things. Opinion is good, too many opinions are distraction and nuisance. That's me.

Today, Whole Wheat Bread! Will see how it turns out...

Life is good...

Circumstances that turned against us forced dependence on God.

Circumstances that force dependence on God teaches us patience.

Circumstances that teaches us patience make us wise.

Something that I learned from BSF, something that I shared with my mgr today. Don't we all need patience? Don't we all wish that we can turn away when things are not panning out the way we wished? Don't we all hope that the person who is screaming and insulting us can just disappear in our life for good?

Human being are at their ugliest when they are at work. Why? Why say things that would hurt others? Why do things that would hurt others? Why dislike someone just because?

I admit that I am not perfect. I admit that I do make mistakes. I admit that sometimes I really do want to do one of those things...but, why? Ego, Pride, Anger and Frustration can easily lead to a man's destruction. We need to always caution ourselves.

Everything started to fall into places now, although the challenges are still there for us to conquer then command. Pray that my GC process will go smooth..

Life is good... =)

出去逛了一圈，心情還是不太好。

朋友生了個兒子，已六個月了。還記得，剛相識時，大家都還十幾二十歲，現在，都，成家立業了。人生就是這樣而已嗎？繁殖後代，制造更多破壞大自然的人纇嗎？樂觀的角度來看，就告訴自己，咦，可能以我那麼“聰明”的腦袋，可以生出個天才，然後來拯救這地球呢？白日夢發得太多了。。

人生似乎也不過如此而已。悶悶地。。
身邊的人都在忙著結婚，結婚，結婚。。哎，還是以前那堆朋友好玩些，單身，卻很快樂。算了，看來是時候回去 TI 了。就這星期一吧。

去沖杯咖啡解解頭腦里的結。。

=)

Finally, the project had came to an end, I hope. This might be the last time we are traveling to CC. (HOORAY!!!) Next project, Houston!

Work is getting busier and busier and much more complicated lately. It is still all good though, as I enjoy breezing through all the chaos and mess. My training plan is just getting started. There are so many courses to take, although some of them are probably useless for me but, it is much better than not being given the chance to excel. DR had put in 5k budget for each of us for career advancement. From the conversations, sounded like he planned to send me for leadership courses taught by outsider. 5k = 2 courses per year. Sigh...I am very much blessed to have this job.

Hopefully, tomorrow after getting back to SA, I can go home instead of staying at work. That would be so much more relaxing and I can get more stuff done at home as well.

Ego and Pride, are the 2 root causes of destruction.

好久沒有寫些什麼了。。被人罵了。嘻嘻。。我過得還好啦，還沒死。

今天有點悶悶地，睡了一個午覺的關係？明天又要出差了，很無聊啊！而且，剛剛才想起，我忘了租車！！上禮拜實在是太忙了，都是出差惹的禍。希望明天還能租到我要的車吧。。不然。。。
哎。。希望能快點把這份企划弄完吧，我真的不太想和老板倆個人單獨去出差了，感覺很恐怖，很壓力，很失去自由。這周末老板的女兒打電話來說要和我聊天。。真無奈，連周末都不能擺脫他的陰影。這就是我不太喜歡和工作上的人有來往的關係了，很沒有自由。

今早去了間蠻特別的地方吃早餐，還喝到了久違的好咖啡，令我想起了在教授家的那一段日子。好懷念那每天早上起來慢慢嘆咖啡，看報紙，不著邊際地聊天的日子。看著窗外的雪景，想想外面的冰冷，緊握手上冒著煙的好咖啡，就覺得，好幸福吶。。

有時，幸福可以就那麼簡單，是人把他想得太複雜了。要求得越多，就會去追求得更多，追求得越多，就會越去在意那得與失，也更容易就會因不滿而不快樂了。

過去是過去，卻不能把他當做不曾存在過。是要懂得怎麼放下，才能不讓過去影響現在的生活。要警惕自己，不可在意那些過去了。。要向前看！

祝，心愉。

30??!!

For 200 bucks sake, I finally dragged my lazy butt to do the wellness assessment thing (at the same time also can curi tulang, since it is on work hour anyway). They send a pharmacy team out into the plant to give all the partners a chance to do it as well as getting a flu shot. I was too lazy to do it on Tuesday...so, I ended up wasting 2 hours waiting in the line with all other partners.

For the wellness assessment, they measure your weight, body fat, BMI, blood pressure, blood glucose, and cholesterol level. The funny part is, they also measure your waist! When CJ, KH and I got our waist measurement, we were all shocked. CJ, a size 2 or size 4, her waist is 32?? No way! As for me, a 30???? You are really kidding me!! After the waist measurement, I told them that we need to mark "Depression" as one of the diseases we are suffering from in that tiny Health & Wellness screening booklet they gave us.

My cholesterol is 160, which is...okay? Since 200 is the level. As for my blood pressure...I think I inherited the trait from my mum. My blood pressure is on the low side. Shooot....Is it really that bad?? Hmm...

Oh well, hopefully the flu shot wont make me sick. My arm is sored... >_< I awarded myself an ice cream after that though..Hehehe...

勞動節

呵呵呵。。我的勞動節嘛。。真的是去勞動了我家那老的了。這是我倆來美國後，見彼此最多的一年吧。很可悲？這年底就是見我久違了的小瓜的時候了。快兩年沒見到那沒良心的小子了，還蠻想念有人可以欺負的日子。老的也快三年沒見小的了。。難得的重聚，是時候準備好開戰的時候了！

勞動節還過得蠻有意義的。。有燕窩吃哦。。還有紅燒牛肉粉。。還是自家做的面，沒有防腐劑的呢。。還有牛排啦，不同的啤酒啦，紅酒啦，白酒啦，珍珠奶茶啦，Ｊ煮的不懂什麼國家的食物啦（被Ｊ糾正了，是意大利的 Gnocchi），嘿嘿。。是的，是的，聽起來真的好像會很肥。小的，羨慕嗎？羨慕的話，就趕快把書讀完搬來這里。

還是有很多事情必需自己去思考，才能決定什麼是比較適合我的路纖。要對自己的決定負責。是的，我又有點迷路了。不過，還好啦，一直相信，船到橋頭自然直。就像KM說的，人生沒有白走的路。

睡覺。。早安。。 ^-^

無聊的早晨

嗯。。九點半就可以回來睡早覺，夠奇怪的工作吧？待會兒又要回去廠了。這份工真的有點太過寫意了，變得有點沉悶。雖然很多人會說，輕松的工是件好事，但學 到的東西太少了，有點沒趣。應該是性格的問題吧，向來都比較喜歡有點挑戰的事，特別是事業和學業。這份工，最挑戰的應該是人際關係的問題吧，可是我已變得 不再那麼在乎了，有點豁出去了的感覺。雖然被人無端端侮辱了還是會有點气，不過始終相信她這種驕傲的格性，不用我做些什麼，遲早她自己也會得罪別人然後自 食其果。
開始發現，我下班後，都不太會為工作的事煩惱了，是件好事？悶哪。。這份工。回去讀書？只有不斷地求上進，人生才不會白活，也才會過得更有意義。腳步，必需一直向前走，人，必需一直往前看！要時時刻刻准備好自己，机會來時才不會後悔因自己的懶惰和不備而錯過了。

自己的人生，如果用局外人的角度來看，可能可以看得更清楚吧。

Leaving...Leaving...Leaving...

Received a letter from the management early morning. Apparently, they are no longer accepting credit card for my rent..at least for this month. Yeah, EH, is time for your "I told you so". Yes, I do not have a cheque book. Yes, I really don't know how I can pay my rent. Yes, I went to the gas station to buy money order. Yes, they do not accept credit card for money order. Yes, I can only withdraw $300 per day from my ATM. Yes, I am having trouble finding a way to pay my rent. Yes, that's very typical me. Haha..So lazy to deal with this kind of stuff. Isn't it easier for them to charge my credit card every month and then I don't have to deal with it? Just charge me $10 more bucks...as long as I don't have to deal with it. Yeah, lazy is my middle name. =)

Oh yeah...my gatal's punya hand just went to cut my own hair..and now I look so weird. Long Hair + Scissors cannot coexist in my house.

I don't want to pack!! I don't want to pack!! Can you just buy some clothes for me and leave it over there so that I don't have to pack? Grrrr........So lazy to do the whole pack and unpack thing...

Happy Labor Day!!! Yohooooo!!!!!!

結婚

想不到妳竟然還不想結婚，出乎意料。還以為妳會是個巴不得快點嫁給他的人呢。。原來我錯了。兩個人在一起久了，會不會就不想結婚了？心境的問題嗎？還沒準備好嗎？還是害怕改變現狀？沒有信心嗎？愛，是不足夠的。現實生活遲早或可能會把愛磨滅，能夠相處才比較重要吧。加油了！希望妳能克服或找到妳心里的障礙，然後做個明智的決定。不是非嫁不可的。。單身也有單身的快樂呀！更何況天涯何處無芳草嘛。。

我是我自己最大的敵人；You are your own worst enemy.
再看看吧。。時間，時間。孽緣。。借過，借過。

Scary Screaming Woman

Sigh...I am deaf. It was an accident. I only ALMOST step on your steel-toed feet, not stepping on your barefeet with my stiletto! And it was only ALMOST!! Not DID!! Besides, I am only 120 lbs.!! Not like I weigh 200 lbs. Really wonder why some woman like to scream so much... Dang...If you scream like 2 seconds, is understandable...8 seconds?? C'mon, give me a break! You saw me coming and you could have just said, "Boo!" rather than a sharp, high-pitched, lengthy screaming to get my and the whole office's attention! The expression on my face is more puzzled than apologetic nor surprise. I did apologize but the first thing that came into my mind was, "What is your problem?" than "Does it hurt?"

Oh well, I am weird anyway. When my friend tripped, I would ask, "You don't even know how to walk?" rather than "Are you okay?" That's me. My sympathy and empathy level is very low for normal healthy human being.

Still don't understand why some woman like to scream so much. It is more fake than real scared and to me, that's the worst way to get man's attention although, some man likes it cause it makes them feel like a hero/macho/useful. Some people really have self confident issue. Oh well, man, woman..what do I know anyway?

Back to work.

七年

七年了。。七年了。。七年之痒要發生了嗎？呵呵呵。。
對不起，還是不想回，太自由了！下一站是哪里呢？

紅玫瑰

紅玫瑰。。向來都不是我的最愛。曾經就收過了一百朵紅玫瑰卻沒有什麼特別的感動，反而覺得這些紅玫瑰紅得太耀眼，又摻帶了些深紅色素，有種血淋淋帶毒的感覺，很恐怖。也許是看過些有紅玫瑰的恐怖片的關係吧。

今天收到了一打紅玫瑰，感覺卻不一樣了。一大清早，他很用心地，把紅玫瑰插入了花瓶中，也加入了點綴的小花和綠葉，那份心意，盡在不言中。
也許是送的人花的那一番心思，也許是長大了，開始懂得珍惜和明白了，也學會用不同的角度和心態去看和體會，發現到，紅玫瑰，還是有它的美。

謝謝你。

^_^

一睜開眼，就覺得怪怪地，怎麼今天好像睡得有點久了？趕緊爬起來一看，7:15 a.m.！馬上跳起來，刷牙洗臉，換了衣，連妝都不畫，喝了牛奶，看一看表，怎麼才 5:50 a.m.？再一看手机，呆了，禍不單行，表也沒電了（希望不是壞了）。走出去，下雨！唉。。真是禍不雙行。SA 的人在雨天開車特別差，老是塞車。無語。。是時候去買個鬧鐘了。。順便買個表？^-^

還好，到辦工室時，才 7:52 a.m. 呼。。鬆了一口气。走入經理的辦工室，他看著我支支唔唔的樣子，就問我，“你睡不醒啦？” 呆了，看著他一會兒，就老老實實地點了點頭。。再和他嘿嘿地傻笑了兩聲就問他，怎麼知道？原來因為我每天都比他早到，今天遲了那麼多，有點不對勁。嘿嘿。。呆呆的我。。竟然認了。。算了，反正面對真心待我的人，我都不慣說謊，只有真像才能還我自由。

今天的 PAR，超出了我的想像。這經理和上司在打著什麼算盤？經理說，他們想升我兩級。呆。。兩年的時間，等等看吧。其實經理一直以來都不太喜歡我在這個職位，覺得不夠權威，做起事來就很麻煩，也很難和他分擔另外幾個廠的職務。而且，他覺得我的學歷和智商比其他人都高，更不喜歡我被那些人欺負。邊走邊瞧吧！盡力做好，盡量學習，不要辜負了他們倆的期望就好。很不幸地，他，也打算把那燙手山竽丟給我管。。真的是甜酸苦辣都得一起吃。還好他也知道這個山竽的人格和工作態度，也會明白我以後會面對的挑戰，不幸中的大幸吧！而且他也知道我比他有耐性，山竽在我手中比較有升級的机會。

綿綿細雨。。走在雨中，心情特別好。好久沒淋雨了。。突然想起了踢踏舞老師教過的“雨中跳舞”的步伐，就在路上不停地踩著一池一池的水，踩到褲管和襪子都濕了，才心滿意足的回家。夏天愛踩雨水，秋天愛踩落葉。。今年有落葉嗎？

心態很重要。如果今天一早因為趕得那麼匆忙而不開心的話，走入經理的辦公室一定不會開心，走在雨中一定會更不開心。要學會把過去放下，專注於當下。放得快，看得開的人會比較容易快樂。我要做個快樂的人！

28...28...

28 years old. Attended and going to attend a total of 7 weddings in this year. Almost half of the wedding, she is bridesmaid and have to organize those bridal shower and bachelorette party. Kinda sad. Can feel her anxiousness about being single. It is the friends around you who make you nervous, I think. Most of her friend are married and some of them have family.

Can I still be very lay back when I turn 28 and also single? I think I could. Well, at least tons of my friends are still single and some of them are older than me (most of them actually). Besides, imho (in my humble opinion), marriage is optional anyway. 50% of them ended up in divorce. If you can't find someone who you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, why force yourself into marriage just because the society asked us to? Or even force yourself into a relationship just because everyone has a significant other? You will be miserable.

Hope she will see that someday and can stop letting that fact bugs her. Sense a little bit of desperation out of her. Sometimes, in cases like this, they can't see that the guy they are dating or dated is just not that into them and that they should walk away. If he is truly into you, he would not have broken up with you in the first place. There is no such thing as second chance.

Life is complicated, relationship is even worse. What would I know anyway? I have 2 more years to get to that stage, or not. MUAHAHAHA...so evil...

The Mummy

Finally, I step my foot back into the movie theater again. Can't even recall the last time I went to watch movie, might be more than a year ago when Mabel was still in IA. I am able to eat lunch or dinner on my own but was never able to go to watch movie by myself. Just felt weird. Luckily I got CJ with me...too bad CJ didn't watch the Sisterhood's first movie, otherwise, we can watch the 2nd one. Need to find out where the dollar theater is in this town...can do a movie marathon Saturday someday. Or maybe can go by myself this time? Since I wanted to watch the Kung Fu Panda...Hmmm...

Finished watching The Mummy. Kinda disappointed actually. Not enough mysteries and clues and the female main character was no longer the same person. I like the original cast better. She is prettier and sexier...hehe...(Okay, I know I do look at woman a lot). They used many popular actors from Asia. I thought Jet Li said he is no longer going to do any action movie? Maybe I am wrong. Anyhow, the whole 3 headed flying western dragon thingy really doesn't fly for me and the whole beast thing doesn't do it either. So boring. Didn't even tell me why he went back into the palace when they are fighting and try to raise all those 5 elements? Or maybe I missed that part? A little bit more humor and suspension could be added into the fight too when the bone army is fighting with the mud army. The Emperor should be portrayed to become someone who is more evil, who is trying to kill all the main actors instead of attacking them only when they attack him. The Yahtzee was cool though. I want a pet like this!! Sigh...I missed snow. >_<

Oh well, when a movie makes me check my watch in the middle of the show...hehe...is not a good movie, or at least, not good enough for me.

So hot...100 F!!! Stupid TX weather!!! Make me so sleepyyyy...But also give me the excuse to drink my beer. Hehehe...Nap nap nap!! ZZZzzzz.......

嘿。。明天又是你老一歲的日子了哦。。也是中國歷史上蠻重要的一天。如果你還在的話，說不定我們可以一起去看看。以前吶，有想過去歐洲背包旅行時，都是想著帶你去的，因為吶，我知道你是拼死都不會讓我被人欺負的，從小到大都是這樣。有時真不懂我是你姐還是你是我哥呢？

最近過得可好呀？前幾個星期，你終於又走入了我夢中，雖然是那短短的幾分鐘，但我也很滿足了。如果可以的話，回去和爸爸聊一聊吧。告訴他，別再自責了，因為，一切都是大家不想要的意外。而且，一切，冥冥之中都是有按排了的，對嗎？

最近，好想你喔，特別是去年回家的時候。想起你呀，在我出國前和朋友去喝茶時，答應媽媽十二點前回到家，卻到了十二點多了，人影都沒一個，手机就開始響了。還以為媽媽打來，一聽，卻是你那關切的詢問，令我好气又好笑。。什麼時候我家的弟弟變成了那麼擔心我的媽媽啦？回到家，看見客廳燈還亮著，你一聽見開門聲，就趕緊跑下來，確保我安全進家了，陪我上了樓，才回去寫你的日記。有時回家啊，真的希望你還在那等我。忘了告訴你，我們搬家了。

也還記得，我很愛看恐怖片，卻也很怕，就拉著你三更半夜陪我看，還是那種我拉著你的手臂擋著臉然後要你講劇情那種看法。想起來，你也蠻有耐性陪我個膽小鬼的。。看平時脾氣暴躁的你，對我卻非常有耐性。

希望，你在另一個世界，過得開開心心的。家里的事，就別擔心了，有我們在嘛。生日快樂！

善良最終只會造成更大的傷害，還是由得他去吧。時間應該能夠沖淡一切。內疚了。。我是真的有點錯。
犯賤吶！！！算了，想破了腦袋也不會找到答案的。。反正就是個人性格問題。

問世間情為何物，直叫人連工都可拋？

終於，有了明確的答案，非常非常地令人驚訝。想不到，哎。。。人吶，感情與工作是不能混為一談的，現在，倆者皆輸了，還可能賠上婚姻與家庭，值得嗎？為何要出軌呢？別人給了你机會，你為何不好好珍惜呢？為何不能學會控制一下自己的脾氣呢？對著你上司的上司大喊大叫，你沒想過後果嗎？

雖然兩個每天算計我的人被開除了，卻也為他們感到悲哀。未來的生計該怎麼辦呢？前途，有了被開除的記碌，也不好找工吶！哎，情吶！情。。自制之力去了哪呢？為何沒有想想後果呢？更何況你們都是有家室的人了。。

想不到兩個老板都那麼相信我，連這種高級机秘都告訴我。

--------------------

郭廷翔，認識你十多年了，還不了解你嗎？加油吧，老友！

老爸

最近不懂為甚麼，老是會不時地想你。老爸老爸，輸贏無所謂，你永遠永遠是我心中的英雄和偶像。你那光明磊落不驕傲的態度和為社會付出的心，試問政譠上還有多少人是抱著與你同樣的夢想和心態的呢？你那不黑暗的政治路，有多少人像你一樣這麼走著的呢？從你身上，我們學會了很多做人的學問，也學會了要問心無愧，敢做敢當。所以所以，你在我心中是不曾輸過的，除了每次和我斗嘴的時候。

永遠永遠都愛你的，搗蛋的二女兒。

孫子兵法

原來事情總究還是告了一個段落，至少是我這邊吧。至於經理嘛，也只能等他自己學會怎麼放下那一份自大了。或許，等大家都淡忘了這件事，會慢慢好起來吧！時間總是能治療一切傷痛。

真的真的好幸運，遇到了那麼多的貴人。他們大可不幫我解釋，把我一并推下水算了，卻沒有這麼做。今天，去個Focus Group 的研討會，遇見了那兒的頭兒，還以為他會生我的氣，為難我，他卻過來安慰我，和我說，“我們還是一樣很喜歡你，兩個廠都隨時歡迎你來。”聽了後，心情輕鬆了許多。因為不愛麻煩人的關係吧，所以很多事情都是親力親為，粗重的，瑣碎的，都不怎麼計較。也因為不愛擺那種高高在上的姿態，雖然偶而被那些愛欺負弱小以為我好欺負的人欺壓，卻很容易和所有人打成一片了。就連人們常投訴的總公司買家的人都對我特別隨和，也不時地關照。

我，好幸運。

做人，是最難的一門學問。有些人，學了幾十年，還是學不會。虛心向學和不驕傲是唯一能令你學得更快的方式。我嘛，還要再加油！學習觀察，以不變應万變。

孫子兵法！！快去找本來讀讀。

還有吶，因為被驕傲自大沖昏了頭，那個愛欺負我的巫婆昨天被炒了。感到有點悶悶地，少了個讓我磨練和學習的對手了。

今天吶，走路超不小心的，差點從樓梯頂整個滾了下去，現在，膝蓋扭到了，大腿黑了一大片。。好痛。我無藥可救了。。

Ridiculously...BORED!!

It's Tuesday, and...I only worked 2 hours! This is all due to my mgr's stubbornness. The plant called and told him they are preparing for the hurricane but he refused to understand. So, here we are...cannot do anything but wait...

I am so bored...stuck in CC and got nothing better to do on a working day. It is not advisable to go to the beach...I really rather be home. Luckily I still got some movie in my laptop for some entertainment purposes...

First time taking an afternoon nap after I started working. Hmm...WEIRD. Still...BORED!!! That's the lesson learned...Do Not Be Stubborn!! Oh well, it is not my choice. People are arrogant. Booooo.....

So tired of him using God's name and prayers in everything. It is his own stubbornness that gets us into this situation but he refused to admit it and learn. Prayers prayers...that's all he always say although he made the mistake in the first place. I do believe God has good judgment on His side. Sometimes I surprised myself with my patience to put up with him. Hopefully, we can get it done by tomorrow...then I will regain my freedom!!!

2 more days & nights to go? Oh Lord...please keep him away from me....please give me patience to put up with him before I snaps!

黑暗中漫舞

多謝了，老友！

收到一份令我蠻意外的禮物，很美也很有心思，多謝了，Ｍ兄。下次不可以這麼破費了。你每次寄來的東西，都是令我意想不到的，而且也很能表達你單純的心意和關懷，令我很感動。
不好意思，又玩了你一次。。嘿嘿嘿。。江山易改，本性難移嘛！
別擔心，依我們的格性，即使十幾年不見，也不會改變我搗蛋你的習慣，更不會減少我們比賽吹水的談話方式。

今天很無聊地，就開始整理家和電腦，也順便去下載一些歌。聽著剛下載的李聖傑的歌（其實是很舊了的歌），腦中和耳中回“響”著的卻是我家親愛的小瓜殺雞般唱著這幾首歌的聲音。。和他高歌的模樣。。真不知是喜還是悲吶。

I Feel...

That's a very strong and powerful phrase?
That's a phrase that can throw people off guard?
What you did make me feel...

Hmm...Lesson learned. Will try to use that phrase.
Thanks, DR.

Created a huge mess before I left for CC this week. Use your Dir. to try to make me work on things for you at the very last minute? Pull out that witch's name to make me fix the mistake I didn't make? Too bad...I am not the easily threatened type. Besides, I do not report to either of them. Throw stuff on my desk and expect me to run around to find out the details? Send me emails and expect me to go and find out on my own? You show me some respect, I will return you with some. Sounds fair?

Went to talk to DR after the whole chaos and asked him to let me fight this battle on my own. Glad that he agreed to it. Some battles in life, you need to learn to fight it on your own. Can't be depending on others all the time, right?

Everyone's attitude had a 180 degree turn as soon as I got back from CC. Oh well, life goes on, for better or worse.

Sigh..I am not made for TX. I miss snow... >_<

我。

病得五顏六色了，還在想可不可以喝啤酒，我是無藥可救了。

遇見了個和我很相似的人，感嘆。。太相似了。這是暗示我該提起勇氣，相信自己，去追尋夢想的指示嗎？

原來有見識和沒見識的人，差別是那麼的大。多謝父母給我這個出國見見市面的機會。感恩，懂得珍惜一切的福份，還在學習中。。

會介意的人，我不想去在意；不會介意的人，我應該去珍惜。

我依然是我。

Home Sweet Home..

Finally...got all plant trials done.
Finally...it's almost time to go home.
Finally...can use my computer that can read & write Chinese.
Finally...don't have to try to save my cellphone's battery.
Finally...almost finish exploring CC.
Finally...I started to enjoy the travel part of this job.
Finally...I am back to the nature.
Finally...Friday is coming.
Finally...I am alone again.
Finally...I am at peace...

Looking forward to tomorrow...

Life is good.

Venting..Thinking...Using my brain??!!

Just realized that bakery is actually one of the hardest field in food industry. Most people specialized in only one area, for instance, bread, or cookie, and is rare for someone to be good at all baked goods. I am learning from the master right now and I am at the best position to learn everything in this place despite all the politics and backstabbing that have been going on.

My mgr, he, is a hypocrite. He likes to push people over their edges to observe their reaction although he only do that to people who are under him most of the time. Speaking of don't like to play games and politic, he can't help but doing it and it just made me lose my respect for him for being such a hypocrite. Speaking of being a Christian and blah blah blah...what a joke! He even told me that I have to put up with him because he is my mgr. I am kinda wondering, is this still happening in this century? Why do I not see it in other people?

I just kept telling myself...Adversity in life will make me a better person and help me to be more successful. That's all I can do for now.

Nov. 2011, that's the due date I gave myself, as I know that he will not apply my GC until my visa is almost expire, I might as well find my own career path somewhere else.
I am actually getting bored with this job, the learning process is too slow. Sigh..what a nightmare. 20 more months before I can do anything.

Cheers to 4 days work week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looking at another CC trip and good Mexican food after this work week..

Stepping back and looking at the whole picture, it is really good to be single. I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want, go with whoever I want, and move anywhere I want!
Maybe, I am really not made for marriage...HAHAHA..Does this kind of species still exist? Or the population count is increasing?

痛

呆。被人從背後插了一刀。總以為，來說是非者，便是是非人，原來現實中并非如此。是我想得太天真了。

政治啊，政治。有人的地方，就脫離不了你的存在。玩或不玩，似乎好像沒有甚麼選擇的餘地。傻人有傻福嗎？我應該慢慢退出而開始當傻人嗎？好懊惱。我太高估自己隱藏情緒的能力了。需要多多磨練。

盡力地在勸自己，看開些，別把這份工看得太重。這幾個周末，都把自己關在家里，為了工作上的人際關系而懊惱，想想，也許不是那麼值得吧。

當初選擇這一行，還不是因為可以有機會一個人獨處地做實驗，可以減少玩政治的機會。如今看來，好像不怎麼有那個機會。

是時候，改一改了。想想。。。該怎麼改呢？該改些甚麼呢？

累。妳們去了哪裡了？很累。好想和你們聊聊天。

>_<

So NOT looking forward to the trip. As much as I like to travel and do not mind traveling for my job, I am really not looking forward to this trip.

Please please...leave me alone...kids. Sometimes is an honor that people like you, but sometimes you just want to keep the distance and hope that they would leave you alone.

Need to start setting boundaries now.

Sadly but inevitably, I ended my relationship with my 515, my favorite number. Anyhow, new number is quite easy to remember too. That's the positive thing.

Wish me luck for this week long trip. Will be back next Friday!

Love & Being In Love

"I love you, but I am not in love with you."

The first time I heard this from a friend of mine, I thought it was just a ridiculous excuse a person is giving another person to break off the relationship. The second time I heard it, I understands what it meant.

It is true that we can love a person, but we are not in love with that person. I have said "I love you" to quite a lot of people, guys or gals, but I am not in love with them. That's because we all started out as friend and have always stayed as friend.

Wouldn't it be sad if you started up being in love with someone and ended up just love them? How did that happen? The passion you once shared dissipated over time? The lust for each other vanished? The reality have made life becomes a routine and just changed everything?

That raise another question. Can you started out loving someone and ended up being in love with him/her?

Yet, is being in love with someone better? Or loving someone is better? Which is the one that we should sign up for if we are planning for forever? What happen when we are no longer in love? We call it a quit? Or we just stayed around because we love each other? No passion, no lust. Is that love? Or is that just a responsibility and habit?

Is love overrated?

Blog

In 2008, I have only posted 8 entries for my blog. It is almost end of the month and we are stepping into June, the month that signify half of 2008 is almost gone.
I guess getting older, do make you think twice before you post anything on the blog. Are we afraid of being judge by the things we wrote? Are we afraid of telling what is in our mind? Are we afraid of open up our heart? Why are we all hiding under a mask? Is it so hard to take off the mask after you get off work?

Loren's District 19 TM motto is:
Speak from your heart, your message will start.

How many of us can actually speak from our heart? What are the consequences when you actually speak from your heart? How many people would actually care? Will they just laughed at you for your naiveness? Or they will show you sympathy and comfort? When they do show you sympathy and comfort, would you think twice about their sincerity and their motives behind it?

Wonder, is it the job? Or is it me getting old and become more cautious?

I miss my girlfriendss...

Wiiiiiiii

Ho Ho Ho.....Got a Wii!! Thanks to AW..Hehe..

To be honest, this is the first game console I ever had in my entire life!! Well...hmm...25 years..not so bad actually. The bad thing is, I am addicted to it now! When I went out for grocery shopping, I started walking into the electronic sections and I almost bought a Guitar Hero last night! After playing with my friend's Nintendo DS, I am looking at getting a pink DS last night too!! This is all thanks to AW...

It is bad...It is bad... I have always against playing games. This is due to experience from college time. I had friends who are addicted to games and would play games all day and night. Some of them even "forgot" to do their homework or come to class. Bad thing..bad thing.. Luckily, I am still well controlled. I only play about an hour a day cause I got bored when I couldn't break my own record. Hehehe..

Sigh..better get a Wii Fit before my body started to grow horizontally..

進入了不同的公司政治。好想打小人啊！

Sense of Accomplishment

I am new here but it does not mean that you can push me around or make me look bad in front of my director, DR. I know you have a good relationship with higher power people here but, they are not my boss and I do not report to them. Besides, DR has more credential than those people you know, so... TOO BAD! I am a skilled polite-insulter and believe it or not, DR send me an email and told me, GOOD JOB after he saw the email I replied to you. We laughed about it when we met and that subject was brought up.
Anyhow, I owe you a thank you. If not because you started trying to put me down in the first place, I wouldn't have the chance to show DR my well trained insulting skill. HA.HA. Imagine I used to manage brokers, suppliers, customers and workers, without this skill, I would have been pushed to the wall and died long time ago.

Successfully used my persuasive skill today to turn the table around. Give myself a pat on the shoulder. Hehe..Yippie!! Accomplished a few tasks. Have to be more careful and thorough next time.

Guessed my people skills really terrified my immediate boss, HP. Sigh..we will see what life brings us.

Cheers to myself!

呆

才發現，原來那頭豬是真的要結婚了！還以為她又再和我開玩笑而已。嗯，也好吧！是時候讓她定下來了。老友，別怪我不相信妳，我們之間有太多的前科了！嘻嘻嘻。。恭喜啦！恕我不能回去參加囉！

唉，看來我是到了收請柬的年齡了。哈！可笑，也可悲。自由沒有啦！對我來說，還是有點可怕吧！一生一世哩！每天對著同一個人，白頭偕老。。。嗯，也許不是吧，現在的離婚率是五十巴仙，也許不是真的一生一世吧。無所謂吧，離我還很遠的事，就別想得太多。況且，像我這種貪新鮮的個性，加上相信人生中的每件事都是一個經驗的人，還是不要出去禍害人群吧。

唉，明天又將是無聊的一天。開會，開會，夠無聊！這份工太悶了！！腦都快要發霉了！呼。。。

單身萬歲！！

Thoughts..

The best way to kill a leader is to keep them busy.

When we are busy, we don't have time to think about purpose of life.
When we are busy, we forget what our dreams are.
When we are busy, we are busy.

XOXO

Been away from blogosphere for quite some time. New job seemed to settle down much better. The only problem with the job is, I have nothing to do. I am quite bored everyday. The workload is about 40% of what I used to have.

The culture here is all about meetings. You can have 3 to 4 meetings in a day. Sometimes those meetings are quite meaningless and no one actually try to manage or lead the meeting. It is somehow a waste of time. On top of that, I am working on someone else's schedule who leaves around 4pm, which means, I can't and wont be able to start anything after 1.30pm. Quite boring most of the time.

I spoked to my dad last night and he laughed at me. He said that I went from the top of the food chain, to the almost bottom of the food chain and now I have to play politics. It is kinda ironic actually. Oh well, I will have to learn it eventually and I might as well learn it now when I am young rather than learn it later in my life.

The new job is actually not as bad as it seemed. Now I get more chance to learn about financial, capital planning, profit, margin and such. I am actually watching the news on the stock market today. Surprise Surprise! On top of that, the company is growing right now and I actually have the chance to get involve in restructuring and reorganizing some of the things in the company. The process will be long and it might take years before we could eventually see the results. Anyway, is a good experience.

Being single at the age of 25 is really not a big deal, my friendsss and coworkersss. It became another "concern" AGAIN about my single status. Can't believe people in this town get married so young, just like Iowa. Haha..Why settle down for someone when you know quite well that he/she is not the one? Why settle down at all if you haven't met the one?

I give myself another 10 years. I know, in the social environment, being an ambitious woman can be too intimidating to most men but I do believe the one still exist. Call me naive and optimistic, but I believe I will meet him one day.

Next step:
1. Refinance the stupid car
2. Another degree
3. New friends

Life can't be any worse, can it? Cheerrrsssss..

Happy Birthday, Sis!

The start of a new life..

Well, finally found an apartment that I like although the appliances are kinda old but that's still workable.

Been here for 2 weeks now and experienced some hopefully, once-in-a-lifetime Mud Rain. It is crazy! I thought it was my car that causes the rain to be brown but after a few wipes, I figured it was the rain. Oh well, almost all the cars I saw the next day were covered with mud. Yes, I do have a garage but..I am too lazy to go back and grab the garage controller.

Job wise, I am not so fond about the job, at least for now. It seemed like my immediate manager is a control freak. He can't even trust us to go back to his office to grab the few samples he wanted without worrying that we are going to grab the wrong one. Helllooo...we made the samples together the day before and FYI, we are not retards. He can't even trust us to weigh out ingredients. It gets quite annoying sometimes when he underestimates everyone around him. Speaking of having too much ego. Honestly, he hasn't impressed me much yet for now on his job wise. I do respect him for the person he is and how nice he is but I need some space and some trust. Quit asking me personal questions and quit worrying about me being single, ok? I am happy where I am and I don't need you to help me to find a husband or a boyfriend or help me to plan my weekend! Grrrrrrrrr....

Time to take a finance class. Very glad that the director trusted my capability and willing to let me take on things on my own and willing to let me learn about writing capital grant although everything still has to go through my manager. We will see how things turn. I am stuck for 2 years anyway.

Wish me luck!

Election!!

HA . HA . HA .

So much fun to watch BN lost in the election!! Damn you guys!! Now you know the consequences!!
But...Kedah is Islamic state now. Speeechleesssss....
Well, things can go both ways. We will just watch and learn.
Good job, Malaysian!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Still stuck in Memphis...God help me.
I am not even sure if I am made for the south. People are...different and...different. I guess we will just have to learn to adapt. Cheryll told me, I am a big girl now, is time for me to fly solo. +_+

So sad to have to leave but that's life. It goes on.

Final farewell to TM friends. They even let me make them wear those hats. Hahaha..

Bye, Bisha. No one would ever kick you in the middle again and no Geishea for you to bully again. Hehehe..

Goodbye, pendejo.

Finally, good bye, Cheryll, my Iowa Mum.

Nervous. Excited. Scared. Worried.

Last few things to do before you leave the town..

1. Mug Shot at the City Police Department:

2. Jail test out
Too bad didn't get finger printed.

3. Get drunk with your coworkers. Get drunk, I meant only get drunk, not sleeping with them.

Farewell, CLSP.

All my dear ones..

The whole place can burn in hell for all I care. Is the people who work there I care about. I don't want them to lose their job. Is the people, I care about.

It is sad to leave, it is hard to say good bye. But when the time comes, you have to do what you have to do.

My dear friend, my dear coworker, my dear ones, it is what it is, please take care, please forgive me for leaving you all behind. We have our own journey and destiny, if we shall meet again, we will. If that's the final goodbye, I pray for a good life ahead of you. I apologize for leaving you all behind and stepped out from our war field. I believe what's goes around, comes around.

Please take care and I believe we will see each other again if fate allows.

Love you all, as always.

全部事情在同一時間排山倒海地向我壓下來。在以為自己已經無法面對時，發現到，人生還是一樣地要過，因為我還活著。

愚蠢的錯誤都已經犯了，挽救不到的過去，就只能接受，只要不再犯同樣的錯誤
要能夠原諒別人，才能原諒自己。

也許很多事情都會像以前一樣，在回首時才發現不過如此，取笑自己當初的在乎與幼稚。

Happy CNY 2008!!!

Ho Ho Ho Ho...One of the best CNY ever since I came here! Guess that's the benefit of being a working class?

Oh yeah, I took Thursday off till Monday. Hehehe..Although the rest of the crew doesn't like the idea of me taking vacation..but...who cares? I earned it!

Food...Foood....Foooood....and...more FOOOOODDDD!!! We cooked Lemak Laksa, Curry Chicken, Hainan Chicken, Satay and Rendang Beef..and ML's friends brought Enchilada, Roast Beef, Cake, Spring Rolls and Tiramisu cake. Too much food that we have to come back on Sunday to try to finish it and..we failed again!

It was a great party filled with alcohol! We ran out of space in the fridge and ended up sticking all our beer and alcohol into the snow outside her balcony. The next day, when the temperature dropped to negative, apparently, beer does froze and break! Hahaha..

Of course...we did "Lo Shang" again this year. Some of the tall guy pick it up all the way to the ceiling cause they wanted to become a CEO..Speechless..


I just realized that I do have a cooking gene in me. Hehehe..Why am I so afraid to try it out few years ago? Or maybe I am just plain lazy as usual.
For the Nth time, I am still a social butterfly like I was few years ago. I guess some thing just never changed. HoHoHoHo...

The girls...All of them are engineers except me. I am very RARE.

The Rockwell group.

The little future playboy. Kept giving kisses..Hahaha..Sooooo Cuuuuutteee!!!!

The Husband and Wife Wii Boxing Fight. Sigh...the husband kept losing..

A few alcohol later...There is a hand trying to reach for more...Sigh..

The drunks...

It was a great time although I didn't know 90% of the people, but I had fun. Wii is really a party game. I came back with sore muscles..Hahahaha.. I want a Wii!!!!

光良的歌，還是能那麼輕易地敲動我的心。在這沉寂的夜裡，煩惱漸漸地被遺忘，心也漸漸地平靜了。是時候蓋眼思考了。晚安。

Change

For some reason, I am not particularly excited about this whole thing. It might be that the reality hasn't really hit me yet or maybe I am just, not very excited about the whole thing.

This job has completely worn me out mentally, emotionally and physically. One small, simple, insignificant action can always lead to some unnecessary huge ordeal. The silliness and the ridiculous things that I have to put up with distracted me and hindered me from doing my job.

It might be due to this job experience that I am indifferent to this supposed-to-be exciting incident. It seemed like people around me are more excited than I am.

The reality might hit me 1 or 2 weeks from now when everything is more settled down. We will talk then.

Sick Leave

My 1st sick leave experience is very pleasant! Hehehe..

On Tuesday, I called GM and told him that I will be late. So, I got to work at 10 a.m. Struggling through the work day and went to see a very..weird and not very persuasive doctor, got some antibiotic and went back to work.

On Wednesday, I called GM again after I woke up and told him that I will be late. Ended up, after snoozing for the 10th time, I decided that I am going to sleep till whenever I want. It was so much fun! I woke up at 12pm, started wandering around the house and decided that I am not going back to work..so, I started making myself lunch and dinner and pigged out in front of the TV. It was very nice..and relaxing. Sigh..home cook meal is soooo gooood...

Oh well, I finished using my paid sick leave. Hahaha..Now I have to use my regular vacation day.

Have been sick twice in a month. Kinda scary..

我真的好想放棄了。兜兜轉轉，似乎都好像在原地踏步。同樣的問題，一而再，再而三地浮現，沒法解決，阻擋著我想往前行的步伐。

禱告，心情平靜了些，但想起那些未知數，又開始煩燥了。

為何明明到手了的工，卻因為身份這回事，又即將失去了呢？

很厭倦了每天被人欺壓，被人污辱，但卻只能忍。有時在想，這樣子活著，有意義嗎？

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.

The auditor gave this comment to my GM and me (refer to our working relationship) at the end of the inspection. This phrase kinda stuck in my mind.

Can I be the successful woman instead of the woman behind the man? Is this a compliment or is this...

Is there some sort of gender discrimination in this statement? Can it be the other way round?

Test Drive

When you go to test drive a car, if the car salesman is with you, try asking him/her this question when you are in the middle of the freeway:

"Have anyone ever pulled out a gun and asked you to give them your cell phone and get off the car when they are test-driving a car?"

Try that. It is fun especially you have a friend sitting in the backseat behind the salesman.

原來還有很多事情都不是我想像和以為的那樣子。原來我低估了自己。原來畢業了也未必代表未來的路纖會更清晰。

原來我很討厭我老板！！

I MADE IT!!!!!!

It is unbelievable but I DID IT!!!!! It was even better than last year!! I got a 915!! For the private label audit, I got a 93%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was like a dream! I was in a foggy stage until I reached home and jumped into the shower. I was literally jumping and laughing in the shower!

I know most of you don't understand why this is so important and why I am so stressed about it since most of you are not in food business nor QC. Let's just say that if we don't get a better score this year, we might lose about 85% of our cookie business and some other private label businesses and that means, we might have to let go some employee. This is like the ultimate standard for all food manufacturing company.

I learned so much out of this audit. I learned to lead people, assign responsibilities, distribute tasks, think on the spot, be firm on my decision, say the right thing to push things my way and have faith in people!

I can't even describe how I feel right now. I know..I am so happy that I just want to cry...

When I was done with the inspection and was on the phone with a supplier, I stood there and looked around my office, and realized that, I don't want to be here anymore.

The funny part is, the auditor secretly recruit me to work for them. HA.HA.HA.