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部落格，我想，我回來了。

靜靜地待在家裡，其實也蠻好的。好久沒那個福份了。寧靜可以讓人思考，讓人做些有意義的事情。內向的人總愛一個人來充充電。

啊！！不想去上班呀！工作壓力越來越沈重，好無奈。胸無大志的人，怎麼可能會喜歡這樣子的工作呢？平平凡凡就好了。

每天上班就不停地聽五月天的≪笑忘歌≫，讓自己有種瀟灑的假想，解解工作所帶來的壓力。

可能可以考慮轉行，去讀語文科，當個翻譯員吧。今早就誤打誤撞地被逼上台翻譯牧師說的話了，也許，這是上帝的一個指示？嗯。。。可以考慮。等拿到了綠卡再說吧！

煩死了！煩死了！討厭死了！討厭死了！跟一班自以為是的蠢才一起幹活，搞得老娘的血壓往上飆！啊！！！！！！！氣死我啦！！！！！

發現到要學會把我的情緒，或者，也許，整個人抽離，才能冷靜地思考應對的政策。

人的驕傲、自負、自大，充滿了整個會議室，令我還以為今天參加會議的人太多了，感覺到會議室那麼地擁擠、逼迫，算算人數都一樣，原來是人的罪性填滿了所有可以呼吸的空間。

一走出會議室，就好想破口大罵，但，還是忍了下來。主啊！祢可要給我智慧呀！給我寬容的心，給我繼續為正義而發言的勇氣。看著人人為己的自私自利的行為，真的好難讓人不對這社會感到灰心啊。踐踏別人，就為了提升自己，唉。。。

無動於衷

對某些事，無動於衷。

上個星期五和同事Sandy去吃飯的時候，聽了她的故事，了解到我有些事做錯了。還好，現在已經無動於衷了。感謝主！有祢的保守，一切還很好。

By Faith, We walk

The Retreat was purely accomplished by faith. A few people commented on what I have done for the retreat but to be honest, I do not think I have done anything. I think the only thing that I have contributed for this retreat was putting everyone into a position for them to serve. We are one body in Christ; without each other, we cannot function. This retreat is an example. The only reason it went well is because we worked as a team and were willing to serve each other.

This retreat has brought us closer to each other than ever before. Well, at least for some of us. Maybe you disagree, but to me, one step closer to God is also one step closer to your brothers & sisters in Christ. Experiencing the incident together, working as a team to resolve the issue and fasting and praying together were great steps in our relationship.

I never thought that fasting together could bring us closer but when I overheard some conversations regarding how the fasting went, I think the experience was a step forward for all of us in our journey of faith. Some of us had not fasted before and I admit that I am one of them. I thought it was going to be easy, 12 hours without food, but it turned out to be harder than I thought. There are so many temptations around me that I almost tripped. There were voices in my head that tried to convince me it was okay to sneak some snack and I was very very tempted! It is just like our life! There are so many temptations that can result in sin and we just have to keep reminding ourselves to watch out!

After everything that we’ve been through, I re-examined myself and my journey of faith. From the Sunday's reading, I realized that I have been busy serving here and there and have not spent enough time with The Lord. I worked on doing morning devotions the morning after we came back from the retreat. It was hard getting out from my warm comforter at 6:00am!

Through some conversations, I also realized that sometimes it is easier to justify ourselves and convince ourselves how godly we are by practicing morning devotion, reading Bible on a constant basis and praying frequently. However, without applying all these things we learn from the Bible into real life, we are no different than the Pharisees! We avoid people whom we find it hard to deal with, we avoid serving in church because there are too many conflicts, we avoid leading because we don't want to put up with all the opinions, we avoid this and that and...when can we put into practice the Christ-like characters we spent hours learning from the Bible?

Dr. Liu & Haedy's message was challenging and intriguing. Their testimony was very encouraging. It resonates in my heart for the past few days. To be or not to be? I need to figure out my "nard" and His purpose for my life.

Retreat Reflection

Once you accepted Christ, you are married to Him. You can no longer live your life as a single, carefree person. You should grow into who He wants you to be so that you can understand what He wants you to do.

I have been living a single, carefree life for...a very long time. I do whatever I want on my free time, or I should say, I wasted my free time however I want. From the retreat, I discovered how spiritually immature I am. Felt kinda terrified. The incident happened on the last night of the retreat is a warning, or also a blessing, since it is an eye-opener and a wake up call for me to stop wasting my time. I need to grow, I need to use my time wisely!

So, for 2011...here are a few to-dos:
1. Daily devotion habit (This is the toughest!)
2. Read the booksss that are long-overdue (Spiritual & Work)
3. Finish my GC process documents (yes, procrastinated for > 1 month now)
4. Finish my AIB coursework and get the certificate (It is a 2 years coursework but hopefully I can get it done in < 1 year)
5. Search for my "nard"

Gotta stop at 5. Need to take 1 step at a time...

BASIC Retreat

Retreat is finally coming, counting down...Praise the Lord, everything is finally in place and I finished the financial assessment, SG assignments, food purchase, bulletin, transportation, and the only thing left to do is to purchase the fruits & vegetables.

A new girl moved in town today and I was contacted to provide her a ride to the church next Sunday. XY suggested that we should invite her to the retreat, which is, this coming Saturday. I am hesitated. After we decided that today is the last day to add anyone and have announced it to the group, and me as the leader, turn around and add another person? I wasn't sure what to do. Asked AW and she said that it is too late to add anyone at this point. Should I just leave it as it is? Is that the "right" decision?

I am stressed out. Maybe I should drop myself out from some of those duties I took upon.