1st Module

The module was a success despite the fact that I forgot a word during the speech. First time ever, stood there and can't recall that word at all! So awful but, funny. I even joked about it later in my speech. Well, a mistake is a mistake, right? There is no point why you shouldn't joke about it, right? Luckily LO saw that part of the module when we were on our way there and she yelled out that word for me. So funny! She saved me a trip from going back to the lectern, flipped through the module to find that word!

I think I perform better when I don't prepare for it. I only read through the module 3 times and practiced once (that's the reason I forgot the word). The Regional Governor was there and she asked me to be the Educational speaker for the Regional Competition! We will see how I perform when there are more unfamiliar faces...I might start to stutter this time.

Hohohoho... Almost done with my CL. That's what I am after, not the CTM. I don't particularly like speaking due to my limited use of Vocab. I am not good with words. I don't like it when I kept repeating the same word over and over because my brain is flat, I can't find any other synonyms in my brain! Should read more books.

There are so many things that I should do but I never did. I need to readjust my lifestyle from this week onward. Less useless and meaningless web surfing, less online movie, less McD, less social, more sleep, more job hunting. Finger crossed!

Have to go back to work tomorrow. Well, if that could buy me a cover, so be it! Hopefully Voldermot will not be there tomorrow. I don't miss them that much to wish to see them on a Sunday. Hmm..think about it, maybe it will be good too. In this case, they will see me working, thought that I cared and that might help reduce their suspicions.

It is a mind game. I just realized that not everyone is made for that kind of game. We are all very very different! Interesting, isn't it? I will do whatever it takes to get myself out of there. As for now, quitting is the fastest but least effective revenge. Even my GM told me last Friday he is prepared to walk out anytime. I should get out before he does. Otherwise, I will be on the judging plate if he walked out and that would be even harder for me to get a job.

Maybe I should start typing out a Resignation letter and post it in front of my computer to remind me how bad I need to get out from there. Hohoho..

Time for bed...dreaming too much..Praying for a change..Striving for a change..Trying for a change..